Evening Walks...

Mom, Asher and I have been going on regular evening outings with the wheelchair. Some days we don't get to go either because of the weather or because I'm not feeling well, but we've been making an effort to go out as much as possible--sometimes just for twenty minutes, sometimes for up to an hour (that was the record we set tonight!).

As we started out tonight the sun was setting.

Asher met a new friend, Ernie. Ernie is another rescue dog--a cocker spaniel-golden retriever mix. I had never seen one of those before!

Asher is the ultimate ice-breaker. I'm not sure I'd be as willing to go out in the wheelchair if it wasn't for Asher. He takes some of the unwanted attention away from me as everyone wants to pet him or asks what kind of dog he is.  And he's always ready for attention! He's also never been this enthusiastic about going for walks, he's getting very good at walking beside the wheelchair, and he comes home exhausted!

I still have a love-hate relationship with the chair. And I suppose I probably always will. Right now, that frustration is made worse by the fact that my new chair (the ultra-lightweight one) doesn't look like it will be here before July. Right now I'm awaiting approval from Medical Assistance. They have 21 days to make a decision. Please send a good thought that it gets approved! 

So we are still using the loaner chair, which is bulky, almost impossible to transport, and doesn't give the most comfortable ride. Mom braved loading it into the car tonight and we were able to go on some smoother bike paths, and get a change of scenery.  It was quiet, peaceful, and lovely.

We also met so many lovely people tonight.  I wasn't really in the mood for seeing anyone, but in the end, it was such a treat to chat with so many new folks.

For the most part, people have been lovely and made me feel more at ease. But I still feel strange seeing the world from this point of view. I will say that it makes stopping to chat with people much easier because I don't have to worry about episodes of near-syncope!

We saw a bunny.  The bunnies are everywhere this time of year! Some even dug a burrow in our backyard, but I think they must have quickly figured out that wasn't such a smart idea since that is Asher's turf!

I've been feeling very trapped and isolated lately.  Sometimes I just feel like the walls are going to close in on me.  This is exacerbated by the fact that while I feel trapped and isolated, I don't really have the energy or feel well enough to go on outings or reach out much. Some days I also feel like I'm so grumpy I can't stand myself, so I'm not sure I want to subject others to that! :P

Jeannine often comments that she finds it so ironic that I have an illness that leaves me so isolated and spending so much time alone, because by nature I am a very social individual, enjoy being around others, and don't like a lot of alone time (although I am working on this!).

When we started our walk, we enjoyed watching the sun go down. As we approached the car to head home, the moon shone directly towards us. It was a lovely close to the evening.

As I downloaded the photos after we arrived home, I couldn't help but think that we had spent the end of Shabbat perfectly.

Blessings,

Emily

Photos:  A walk around the nearby bike path:  sunset; Asher and Ernie (Marcy, you would so love Ernie!); bunny; moon.