25th Reunion (and some thoughts on reunions in general)

Adam and Chris are Photobombing Us! :)

I'm not letting another amazing reunion pass by without posting about it! At the end of July, we had our 25th high school class reunion, for which I did a bunch of the planning. I had planned most of our 20th reunion from BED, so to be able to plan this reunion more easily helped me to see how much my life has continued to change in the past five years.

I Adore These Faces

I was so very excited to see these faces. Jess, Kate, Jamie and I were part of a group of eight friends from 7th grade on through high school (although I met Jess in 4th grade! :)) It was wonderful to have Jamie's wife, Urvi, join us and to see Amy after 25 years! 

Ready for the Reunion

I was able to attend the entire reunion, plus stay an extra hour chatting with some folks. I also stood most of the four hours of the reunion. Like, whoa?! This is my whole new life.

25th Reunion Ready!

I don't often look back at old photos of myself, but as I got ready to write this post, I found the pics from our 20th reunion. When I look at the photos of me from this reunion compared to the last one, I am amazed at the difference in my pallor. And, as you can see, I'm sitting the entire time at the 20th reunion. I literally sat on a chair at one of the high top tables and everyone came over to me to chat. This year, I could mingle as much as I wanted (with a few breaks to sit in between).

Kate and Me at our 20th

Apparently, I choose blue and ivory to wear to my high school reunions?

Megan, Jill and I Go All the Way Back to Elementary School

So glad I got to see Megan at both reunions, but we missed Jill this time around.

I Am Sitting in the Presence of Two INCREDIBLE Women Here:
Abena and our English teacher, Ms. Riley

Our 20th reunion was a much bigger event--including a Friday evening event with former teachers. I got to see lots of my favorite teachers and also this wonderful favorite woman, Abena.

Our 20th Reunion Crew

I know that people have become less and less likely to attend their reunions, as is evidenced by the number of people we had this time around compared to five years ago. People seem to feel that social media is "good enough" for keeping in touch. I also think people felt that five years ago seemed like just last year, and were less inclined to attend. That was a bit sad!

Our 25th Reunion Crew

I have LOVED both of our reunions. I've reconnected with people I've lost touch with; I've healed old wounds and miscommunications that went unresolved; I've enjoyed being together in a big group with some of my favorite and oldest friends; I've laughed a lot and hugged a lot of people; I've even connected with folks I didn't even know in high school!

We Haven't Aged a Day!
Megan, Brian, Adam and Aaron

Just making it to my 20th reunion was one of the hardest things I could do physically, but also one of my biggest victories. This time around, it was a little bit hard, but not very, and I didn't crash terribly afterwards. Just a bit!

By the end of the night I could feel myself getting the shakes and struggling to sit up any longer, but compared to how my body used to respond (or compared to not being able to attend at all) this seemed minor.

The most difficult part is getting my ANS to calm down after an event, and usually that requires a lot of medication if I want any sleep at all.

Adam, Aaron, Me, Megan

Facebook is no substitute for seeing people in person, catching up, giving hugs, laughing and talking. I am so thankful to everyone who showed up for our reunion!

Jess and Kate

Forever and always friends with these two!

Reunion in the Restaurant's Solarium

We held our reunion at a local restaurant--with beautiful hors d'oeuvres and signature drinks. It worked out perfectly.

Jame and I Just Joined The Old IM Basketball Team! :) 

Look at all of these friendly faces I've missed seeing!

Jess, Kate, Jamie and Amy

And these women are so special to me.

Look at this Crew! :) 

On Sunday afternoon, our 'crew of four' along with kids and Kate's husband, Brad (also a classmate) went to Jessica's parent's house to chill at the pool. I didn't last very long, but was determined to make it.

Jamie and Her Kiddo

I also got to meet up with Jamie and her kiddos at our local pool on Monday!

The Kiddos

How fun to have everyone's kids all hanging out together while the four of us fell right back into our goofy banter. Jess's daughter, Zoey, thought that we were hilarious as she hung out listening to us. She will soon be just like us with her own friends (she's 12). :)

Poolside Mini-Reunion

We missed the rest of our crew, but I am so very thankful for the time we had together during reunion weekend. Jamie and Jess made a huge effort to travel far for this and I thank them big time.

I still believe in old fashioned reunions. I still believe in taking the time to plan them and reconnect with folks in ways that wouldn't otherwise happen without a planned event. 

Thanks to everyone who has attended the past two reunions! You made it well worth the effort of planning!

See you at our 30th!

Blessings, 

Emily

Buried Under, Digging Out

Jenna--Organizer Extraordinaire

For so many years I've felt buried in clutter, weighed down by stuff I don't even know I have, unable to find the things I actually want to be able to find, yet not well enough to tackle the stuff that leaves me feeling buried under.

I've worked with organizers here and there, but I've never found a gem of a person and the perfect fit for me until Jenna. 

It is such a relief to find the right personality match for such an undertaking.

In the past, organizers would rush me through decisions faster than my brain-fogged mind could keep up or give me assignments that I couldn't accomplish during the week or push me past where my energy levels could keep up.

Finally, with Jenna we work at a slower pace. I'm able to take the time to go through things, look at them one more time, and say goodbye. 

Running out of Time to Organize before Kale Arrived!

Rebekah was a wonderful caregiver for me who also chipped in with massages and organizing, but then she got prego and I haven't had help since 2009! :) Thankfully, she still an amazing friend. As you can see, I was using my recliner and pull-out sofa to survive, printing emails and not able to do anything physical to keep up. Rebekah would work while I stayed in the recliner.

Rebekah in 2009

Now that I'm working with Jenna, I've let go of all of my clothes that no longer fit, which means letting go of an unrealistic expectation of 'getting back into my skinny clothes'. 

Now that I've let go of being a mom, getting rid of my own childhood memories and belongings feels less painful and stressful. 

I don't want to keep carrying this weight of stuff around with me. I'm ready to dig out from under the years of stuff that have been piling up.

Not only have we lived in the same house for 43 years, but for the past 21 years I've been sick. That has meant little energy was left for organizing. We dealt with crisis after crisis by having my mom scoop up any items and papers in my room, throw them in a box and stick them in the basement. We've been in survival mode for so very long.

Today happened to be Severe ME/CFS Day, and it's hard to think back on those days that were all about survival, going days or weeks without leaving the house--and doing so mostly to go to appointments. The fact that I'm able to have Jenna here helping me organize and work on finding my way through the stuff that has piled up over those years makes me one of the lucky ones--to no longer be living with one of the most severe cases of ME/CFS.

I'm thankful that, as exhausting as the organizing is physically and mentally, I am able to finally pursue the desire to simplify my life, let go of the past, and only be surrounded by things I really need and want.

Blessings,

Emily

The New Joyous Adventures and Relationships of Feeling Better (and Coffee with Ted)

Look Who Popped In From the West Coast!

Over the past year and half, I've blogged very little about fun stuff or serious stuff. I'd like to mix up the posts a bit and throw fun posts in with the serious ones. 

I also think it's really fun to go back and look at what I've done over the past year and a half and see all of the adventures I've had. This week, I looked through the last 11 years of my blog and remember when leaving the house at all was a HUGE event. I would blog about a visit to see some puppies or a drive in the country with Mom and Asher.

Now, outings of some sort (even if it is just an appointment) are almost every day occurrences. In looking through my photos of what I've been doing, I can see how much things have changed over 1 1/2 years.

In the past outings were so very hard and, while I took joy in them, the joy I have now is far greater because I am not so consumed by physical pain and feeling sick. Learning to take joy and create joy has been something that I have struggled throughout illness.

Now that I'm feeling better, the adventures are bigger and different and better. Instead of all of my friends coming to visit me here so I can sit in the recliner or be in a quiet environment, I say: "Hey, I'll meet you for coffee!" or "Let's go out for drinks!" 

What is also so special about feeling better is being able to better engage with my friends when they are home to visit. Last week, I got to see Ted and for the first time in over 18 years, we spent time together, one on one, talking for 3 1/2 hours while sitting outside at a local coffee shop. 

Usually, when Ted is in town he comes over for a visit with his wife and children, and I catch up as much as I can. To be able to talk one on one, face-to-face and truly catch up on how he's really been doing for the past 18 years was incredible.

In some ways, I feel like I am renewing old friendships and they are getting even stronger. When Sarah was in town last time, we went out for drinks at a local restaurant, sat on the patio, and talked for 2 1/2 hours. On her previous visit, we went out for a long lunch. For 18 years, she's been coming to visit me, usually with Bob and/or Lana in tow and we've had very little time to spend together as girlfriends.

I'm so thankful for these friends who stuck by my for these 18 years, sometimes keeping their own pain and struggles from me in an effort not to add to my stress, who selflessly gave to me and waited for this day to arrive. 

Blessings,

Emily

Love and Illness: 18 Months

Anniversary Dinner Out

Happy 18 Months to this guy! :)

In My FIRST and New LBD

I'm feeling pretty sentimental about this anniversary.

WALKING For The First Time Through the Marsh

On the 18th of June, I will mark 18 years since I got sick. 

This June 8th, I celebrated 18 months with Kiernan.

Eight is my favorite number.

18 is often equated with Chai (life) in Hebrew.

Our Newly Planted Lettuce (Which Has Now Been Harvested Twice!)

Over the past six months, Kiernan and I have celebrated milestone after milestone together.

We celebrated the holidays together, and I decorated my first Christmas tree since I was in high school.

We thought our tree looked fantastic!

We've gone on so many more outings than we could when we first started dating, including one to see Hubbard Street Dance of Chicago.

We went to an LGBQTA Passover Seder together that our friends hosted...

To one of our favorite parks...

and to the arboretum...

where we tip-toed through the tulips holding hands.

Our relationship, my life and our life together continue to grow and bloom and open and change just like this water lily. Sometimes things are really hard. We have plenty of growing pains. But we are also committed and loyal to each other.

We now walk through the places we used to take the Rolls. We walk through the arboretum. We walk through the marshland we love. We walk through flower gardens. We take walks after dinner in the evenings.

And best of all, we HOLD HANDS. I have missed walking and holding hands!

Kiernan has helped me to start learning how to cook and to learn how to plant and grow lettuce. Thanks to a friend, we had a week free of Blue Apron and Plated, which made starting to learn to cook (without having to stand too long) possible. Cooking together makes me so happy, and is something we both love. It's still a lot for me, so most of the time Kiernan still cooks for me (I'm SO spoiled!)

This past weekend, *I* drove us from place to place, giving Kiernan a break. When I asked if it felt good not to always have to drive me now or do this or that for me, Kiernan just gently reminded me that he never looks at it as an inconvenience or chore.

Knowing that he truly loves me in SICKNESS and improving HEALTH is reassuring, because I do know there are no guarantees with this illness!

I continue to be grateful to be with this kind, gentle, compassionate, respectful, loyal, committed, smart and funny man with whom I share common core values and common interests. 

This new life is beautiful. Sharing the journey to wellness with someone who fell in love with me while I was much sicker makes all the milestones even more special.

Thank you for journeying with me, Chef, and for rejoicing along with me in the milestones.

I hope we are just beginning a lifetime of walks together hand in hand.

To Life, indeed!

Blessings,

Emily

Red Curry

Me and Red Curry

I'm pleased to introduce you to the newest member of our family: Red Curry! :) 

Sexy, Sporty and Safe!

On June 2nd I picked up my new car, a red Mazda 3 hatchback, that Dad purchased for me to drive.

Isn't it the cutest, sexiest, sportiest little car? :) 

It was just last year at the end of September, that I decided to try driving Mom's car. 

Life is changing so quickly I can't keep up. It's overwhelming. It's exhilarating. It's stressful. It's fantastic. 

This post is so much less about a car than it is about where I find myself this June--the month I will mark 18 years since I first experienced debilitating symptoms of chronic illness.

This post is about the symbolic nature of being in a place in which I need a car and feel well enough to do my own driving on a regular basis. 

It's about how I leave the house almost every day, sometimes more than once a day.

It's about how I now have the freedom to go where I what to go and Mom has the freedom to go where she wants to go without and conflict over sharing a car.

Before last year, I had not driven since 2001. In 2002, I had given up my first and only car, a sky blue 1989 Ford Tempo that my dad purchased for me at a farm auction when I was 16.

This time, when Dad realized that I needed a new car, we did a TON of research, lots of test-driving and lots of discussing. We wanted a new car with great safety features. I finally narrowed the decision down to either a Honda Civic or a Mazda 3. As you can see, the Mazda 3 won and I am over the moon happy with my decision.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE driving this car. I LOVE how fun it is to drive. I LOVE the red. I LOVE the freedom. I LOVE being able to drive and listen to music and sing along again. I LOVE everything that this car stands for in my new life.

Happy!

How in the heck do you thank someone for buying you a CAR? I really don't know how I will ever thank my dad. When I tried to, he said it was some of the best money he had ever spent. He told me how we had all waited for this day and dreamed that I would reach a point in my life again where I would be well enough to drive and experience life in so many new ways. He complimented me on my persistence on the road to recovery.

I told him the best money he had ever spent was on medical care, specifically that which I receive at Hopkins and at PT.

I feel a little self-conscious about having a new car, a little intimidated by something so shiny and new, and a lot spoiled. 

However, as I've told people about my dad's choice to buy me a new car and shared how excited I am to be driving and to have so much freedom, I have felt no judgment--only joy, happiness, and excitement for my new life and new freedom. 

Go Warriors! Go Red Curry!

The evening after I picked up the car, Mom and I headed to a nearby sports bar to watch the Warriors play Cleveland in the first game of the playoffs. This was another 'first' for me--chilling at a sports bar watching a game and drinking a beer!

The Warriors won!

Watching the Warriors in the Finals

I know the best gift I can give my dad in return is to enjoy my car to the fullest, to continue to heal as much as possible, and to continue to take joy in my new life. Because after all, that's what our family has dreamed about for 18 years--a healthy, happy Emily.

Blessings,

Emily