Mini Davidson Reunion: Patrick and Erin + The Joy of Feeling Better

Reunited 17 Years After Graduation

May 17th marked 17 years since my graduation from Davidson. I don't think a year goes by that I don't get to see at least one friend from Davidson--and this year I got to see Patrick for the first time since graduation!

This is my third mini-reunion of the year! I saw Loralea and Amanda while at the beach.

Out for Ice Cream

I also got to meet his wife, Erin, whom I have been texting with and keeping up with on Goodreads for quite some time now. So, it was wonderful to meet finally meet her in person.

Mom and Kiernan made sure we had a fantastic meal to enjoy together.

Chef Kierny Gets Some Cuddles From The Kids

Tomato Cucumber Salad

We had a locally sourced meal of tomato cucumber salad, quinoa asparagus salad, a frittata, and strawberries. I feel badly that I did not get a pic of Kiernan's tasty frittata!

Local Strawberries!

Delicious Quinoa Asparagus Salad

Cute Couple!

After lunch, we took Patrick and Erin on a short tour of town, a trip to the arboretum, and to get ice cream at everyone's favorite place. 

Oh! Another Cute Couple!

Patrick and I have been friends since our freshman year at Davidson, and he is one of the few male friends I have. I'm always grateful for his perspective and encouragement. He's been loyal, faithful and supportive throughout my illness in ways that have deeply moved me. At Davidson, he was one of the few men I allowed to be close to me.

We both talked about how our experiences at Davidson were difficult in some ways because we were in the minority politically, socially and religiously, but that we cannot imagine trading the education we received or the friends we gained. 

Patrick is one of those friends. 

And Erin is now too. I'm grateful to have met her and to call her my friend now as well.

The Gang's All Here

It was amazing to be able to spend almost FIVE hours together--eating, talking, going for a StRoll around the arboretum, going out for ice cream. 

Patrick and I topped off our day by texting while watching the Warriors game that evening. :) 

Patrick asked me how I would feel after the visit. I said I would be tired, but I would be okay. And I am okay. I could thoroughly enjoy the visit and pay only a very small price afterwards. To put this in perspective, even six months ago I would have been reclining after lunch, we wouldn't have gone out afterwards, and I would have been sick all evening and very tired the next day. 

The best way I have to quantify this is on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst symptoms. In years past, I have had to pay in 10s to have visitors, even for short periods of time. I would need extra pain meds, extra sleep meds, anti-nausea meds and more to get rest and control symptoms. Now, my visits are longer, I'm sitting upright, I'm fully enjoying and I might pay with a 3 or 4 in symptoms after the visit is over. And maybe I just need a little extra Klonopin or a little Ambien to calm my ANS down a bit for sleep.

This makes having visitors so much more joyful. I often wonder how I ever survived day after day with my symptoms at a level 10.

But I did. And here I am now. Here I am now, enjoying my company to the fullest.

Friends. Always.
Obligatory Pic On the Infamous Sofa! :)

Thank you, Patrick and Erin, for making the trip to see me, for spending so much time with us, for your generosity, kindness, compassion and friendship over the years. Being together was beyond wonderful--it was so uplifting for the soul to talk in person and hug you both!

May we never ever go 17 years without seeing each other!

Blessings and Love,

Emily

Mini-Reunion with a Davidson Friend!

Amanda and Me

The past week has been a busy one for us. After two trips to visit folks, we'll be staying put for the rest of our time down here.

Last weekend we traveled on Friday to visit one of my college friends, Amanda, who lives still lives in NC. We stayed overnight at her house and headed back to Sunset Beach on Saturday afternoon. It was a whirlwind and exhausting trip, but absolutely 100% worth it to see Amanda and meet her family.

Me, Bethany, Amanda and Samuel

I have known Amanda since Freshman year when we were in the same eating house. We lived on the same hall sophomore year. We haven't seen each other since graduation 17 years ago. We have kept in  touch through letters and phone calls, since Amanda is not on FB and does not email. 

We have always made sure to connect once a year on our birthdays, which fall just a day apart.

Yogurt Mustached Bethany

Amanda has been one of many Davidson folks who have shown me why Davidson is so special to me--the people I met there are loyal, loving, kind, generous and thoughtful. And smart. 

Sweet Samuel

Over the years, Amanda has served as a strong spiritual support for me--an open-minded, non-judgmental, willing to question woman. She earned both a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Counseling from Princeton, and she's been a wonderful spiritual guide to me, along with being a wonderful friend.

Samuel and J.D.

It was great to finally meet her husband, J.D.,  their children, Bethany and Samuel, and their dog, Nikki. And don't forget Boo Bear! 

Me, Bethany and Boo Bear!

It's hard to believe that we could make a three hour drive to visit someone, hang out in the afternoon, have me take a nap, get back up and have dinner, stay up talking with Amanda until after midnight, get up the next day and eat lunch with the family and hang out before we left around 2:30 for the three hour trip home.

We enjoyed just having a really low-key visit hanging out with Amanda and her family. On Friday, we got take-out from their favorite Thai restaurant so that Amanda would not have to be cooking with a new baby to take care of, had lots of chocolate for dessert, talked a lot. On Saturday, we had a lunch of Mom's baked oatmeal and Amanda's quiche. (Amanda--your quiche is perfection and we need the recipe! :))

J.D. and Samuel

When I was exhausted on Sunday, I had to remind myself that I still made it out of bed, ate lunch, got dressed, and spent the afternoon doing some hand-sewing. 

Their Sweet House

Other than taking medical trips and the couple of times Mom and I have traveled together, this was the first time we had stayed overnight at someone's home and I was able to manage it! 

Nikki

On Saturday, while I visited with Amanda and family, Mom went to see a former colleague of hers who now lives in NC. Athleen is 94 years old and still sharp as a tack!

I would have enjoyed seeing Athleen as well, but am so thankful Mom was able to make the trip to see her and have a meaningful visit with her. Athleen is a pioneer--a woman who got her Ph.D. when very few women were!

As you can see, it took a few tries to get a picture of me with Amanda and her kids! :) 

I am incredibly grateful to Amanda for welcoming us into her home. We picked up talking with one another as if we had not skipped a day in each other's lives. Being together in person with those we have only been able to keep in touch with is such a blessing--and such an affirmation of why we work so hard to maintain these long-distance relationships. I left Amanda's more affirmed in our relationship and more determined to maintain my friendship with such a joyful spirit.

Blessings,

Emily

Marvelous Marla Visits

All Prettied Up for Sushi Lunch OUT!

My dear sweet friend Marla flew here for a visit from Friday to Sunday this past weekend. We both felt such gratitude and joy over the amount of energy I had for us to be together. As always, Mom spoiled us with good food and a listening ear for Marla while I was sleeping.

Since graduation 16 years ago, Marla has visited three times--and each of the previous times I was very sick. Two years ago we agreed that we would dress in PJs and no make-up. Marla admits now that each time she left after a visit she felt very worried about it. It's hard to know how being sick has affected my friends--and I'm so grateful to those who have not let fear and sadness keep them from journeying with me.

Not a Dog Person? We Will MAKE You Love Us!

Well, what a difference two years can make. Marla and I were able to spend all of Friday afternoon and evening together.

After I woke up on Saturday we both did our hair and make-up and went out for a sushi lunch. Next stop? Making sure Marla ate some locally made ice cream. And next? A StRoll! And next? We started a movie!

That evening we finished the movie About Time (which we both highly recommend as a excellent rom-com) and chatted some more.

By Sunday, I was struggling quite a bit, but we were still able to have lunch together, go to Dad and Abbie's for her to meet them, and then I rode along with Mom to drop Marla off at the airport. It was really exciting to actually be able to go along to the airport to say goodbye and hug her one last time.

So Happy to Celebrate Victories Together and Be Together

Marla is a friend who rejoices in every small and big victory in my life. She is also a friend who grieves the losses deeply. She feels anger about my illness. Those are true gifts of a real and true friend. 

We cherish our girl time together just the two of us. Really, no topic is off-limits for the two of us! Oh right, except politics! :)

Thank you for making such an effort to travel here, making time in your crazy busy schedule, and being such a loyal, faithful and loving friend, Marla. I love you.

Blessings,

Emily

15

Our Daffodils in the Spring

When the letter arrived in the mail announcing my 15 year reunion at Davidson, all I could do was cry. I thought: I've been sick for 15 years, it has been 15 years since graduation and I function at 15% of a healthy person. The number 15 was not a happy number for me. 

At the time, I was also in the midst of a major gastroparesis flare unlike anything I have ever experienced, which in turn had set off my ANS to the point that I was unable to even stand for five seconds without tachycardia and near fainting. It was a bad time, to say the least.

Friends started planning for the reunion. Facebook was full of Davidson reunion love. I watched as so many of those I've reconnected with planned their journey to a place that remains as one of the most formative experiences of my life. A place whose presence is tangible, knowable, and influential EVERY DAY of my life--because of the values I learned, the people I met, or the education I gained.

I grieved. I grieved the body that wouldn't allow me to go. I grieved the freedom of choice that comes with a healthy body. I grieved the passing of time. I grieved the last time I knew a healthy body. I grieved for the friends I wouldn't see, the friends I haven't seen in years, the babies I've never met, the weddings I've missed. 

Daffodils Always Remind me of Davidson

And then, I made a choice. A choice to celebrate 15 years since graduation in my own way. Instead of focusing on the big reunion at Davidson, I would have as many mini 15 year reunions as I could. 

Let me clarify that the reason I could even do something like this is because I have 1. a mom who is amazing and willing to have my friends visit, and 2. amazing friends who are willing to travel to see me. The people I've met at Davidson are lifelong treasures.

So, I've had several mini-reunions so far this year, and have a couple more to go! It's been the busiest summer EVER in in terms of company, but it's been worth every ounce of energy. 

What came from grief, sadness and loss was a beautiful series of connecting and re-connecting with my Davidson experience. The lesson I'm learning is that I need to grieve, that it is healthy to grieve, that it is appropriate to grieve the many losses that illness brings. What I have also learned is that after I've had my pity party, I can come up with new and different ways to celebrate life. 

I've also learned that I may never get better. In accepting this I've begun to allow friends to visit without trying to be a perfect hostess, making sure I take my naps, and allowing them to see me sick. For many years I did not want friends to come visit because I did not want them to 'see me sick' and wanted to 'wait until I felt better'. I felt that it was unfair to my friends to travel so far to see me when I am only awake and able to visit a short time each day. There's nothing like staring 15 years post-college and 15 years of illness in the face to make one say: time is too precious, life is too short, those who are true friends will and do love me sick or not. I'm still learning to accept this type of love from friends.

I can't wait to share the photos from the visits! :)

Blessings,

Emily

Mom's Surgery Bumped + Davidson Graduation Anniversary

Tulips at the arboretum.

Just a quick post to say two things:

1. Mom's surgery date has been bumped to Thursday May 19, 

and

2. Today, May 17th, is the 13th anniversary of my (and therefore many of yours) graduation from Davidson!

Big, beautiful PINK tulips at the arboretum.

On Monday morning I woke up from a dream in which Mom's surgery had been pushed back to July 4th. I woke up thinking: "Oh no, I hope that doesn't happen to Mom." I know that it was an anxiety dream, but then when Mom came into my room to say good morning her first sentence was: "Well, my surgery got bumped." 

Thankfully it is only moved back by two days. We are grateful that the person who needs to have surgery for a brain tumor can get immediate attention from the surgeon and we understand the need to wait. This is how it works when there is only one neurosurgeon in town!

I have been wanting to go on outings and do 'fun stuff' before the surgery, so we have continued to do that this week, along with preparing to have things organized and in order for Mom's time in the hospital and her recovery at home. I figure while Mom is recovering I can catch up on email and all of the other things I've left undone!

I am not sure if I'm having a burst of energy because I'm anxious or because I'm feeling better or a combination of both! My ANS is a little mad at me for pushing so hard. Mom is just plain ready for the surgery, and I'm just ready for her to be safely through it! I am officially six weeks out from my port removal surgery, and am hoping that this new energy is the result of finally recovering from that trauma to my body. (Dr. Complex told me it would take up to six weeks and that seems to have been right on.)

More lovely tulips! Tulips always make me think of Davidson.

On Monday, we made a little outing to Target and watched DWTS in the evening. Over the weekend we made a little trip to Penney's for summer clothes (not super fun, but necessary!), and watched a movie. We felt relieved to get that chore done. If I still have any energy left, and it is not POURING, we will hit the Farmer's Market today for one last outing together. 

While the outings are exhausting, they are also exhilarating. It is hard to explain how exciting it is to engage in the simplest of choices such as picking out my own cards for my dad for Father's Day, for my nephew David's birthday, etc. (Usually Mom does ALL of this for me.). Going to Penney's was exhausting, but it was two hours of time and I'm all set for summer. How do I explain the joy in making my own choices about what I want to try on? Ordering online is way more challenging, time-consuming, and expensive. I limited myself to one brand of clothes, which is hard to do, but that is the only way it is manageable.  And don't worry, I got some pajamas too.

 We also made it to the arboretum and the Farmer's Market last week, which is where I took these photos of the tulips. These are two of our very favorite places to go.

Purple tulips. It was the 1000s of white tulips I saw on my first visit to Davidson that made me say: "I want to go HERE!" :)

Last of all a little shout out to my fellow Davidsonians who graduated with me 13 years ago today. Whether I'm snapping these photos of tulips at the arboretum (oh, how Davidson knows how to do tulips!), listening to WDAV while I blog, using the skills I learned to navigate chronic illness, watching Stephen Curry play for the Warriors, or a million other things...Davidson is always with me. 

Davidson is most present in my life in the daily interactions I have with so many of YOU--on Facebook or through texting and emailing. I love to see what my Davidson friends have to to say on Facebook. We are certainly a group of passionate and compassionate people!  We've now known each other for half of our lives, my dear Davidson friends. I love you.

I hope to write a blog post about what Mom's surgery will actually entail and have it go out on Wednesday, but we will see if that happens! Otherwise, I will be posting updates on my blog as I am able. This is the only way I know how to keep up with folks during this time.

Blessings,

Emily

Go 'Cats! Catch them TONIGHT on ESPN2!

Davidson Wildcats (27-7) vs. Saint Mary’s Gaels (27-6)

2009 National Invitation Tournament

Date: March 23, 2009

Time: 11:30 p.m. (EST)

Site: McKeon Pavilion (3,500 capacity) - Moraga, Calif.

Audio: John Kilgo calls the action on the Davidson Radio Network (1350 AM, 610 AM, 95.7 FM and online on DavidsonWildcats.com)

Video: Broadcast live on ESPN2 with Lou Canellis calling the action and Hubert Davis providing the color analysis

For as much of the 'Cats as you could ever want, click here.

You can see photos, read about all of Curry's post-season awards, Andrew Lovedale's shoe drive, game play-by-plays and stats, and any last minute schedule changes. 

Davidson is headed to the second round of the NIT after defeating the University of South Carolina 70-63 in the first round last Tuesday.  For those of us on the East Coast we have to be dedicated Wildcats fans to stay up for this game against St. Mary's.  Or be thankful for TiVo!  

No NCAA bid for Davidson this year who ended up being the darling of the tournament last year.  As 'Cats fans most of us were a bit disappointed that Davidson didn't get a bid this year, but the NIT is turning out to be as interesting this year as the NCAA. So many teams that played in the NCAA last year are playing alongside Davidson this year in the NCAA.

Tonight, the commentators will be watching the match-up between Patty Mills of St. Mary's and Stephen Curry of Davidson.  

No one knows yet if Curry will turn pro after this year, so every game we get to see him play for the 'Cats is a special treat!

 Last year Davidson made it to the Elite Eight, where they were defeated by Kansas 59-57 (the eventual NCAA champions).  I didn't manage to get Elite Eight shirts, but I did get Sweet Sixteen shirts! Here's a pic of Mom and I last year in our Davidson shirts.

When Davidson went to the NCAA last year, we were a bit unprepared in the apparel department!  We dug up a few old shirts from my years at Davidson. All of the shirts were, like, extra large! They are huge. I can't believe I wore them all that way throughout college.

Mom is wearing one of my favorite Davidson shirts. This shirt cracks me up. 

I never did finish my 'Lights of 2008' posts, but the NCAA Tournament with Davidson going all the way to the Elite Eight was definitely one of my lights! 

When I was a little girl my dad started taking me to college basketball games. He also loved to shoot hoops with me and play HORSE. Even though our driveway is slanted, we still had a hoop hanging above the garage. He taught me how to shoot hoops underhand, and somehow I managed to win a 'Hoop Shoot' contest in fourth grade. My athleticism, if you could call it that, didn't continue much after that! He was pretty proud though. 

We went to games for many, many years--even when I would be home on college breaks. As a little girl, the players were larger than life and I loved getting autographs and meeting the women's team. The best part of the game was always getting a couple of quarters from Dad to get a program!

I always enjoyed and loved following our team here. But I fell away from enjoying basketball. And the sicker I became, the more I pulled away from anything that seemed 'frivolous'. I had forgotten for a very long time to take time for things I enjoyed.

But God didn't intend for us to be serious all of the time. He intended for us to delight in this life and appreciated the many different gifts that we all bring to the world.

I'm thankful to Davidson for re-igniting my joy of the game. For reminding me to take pleasure in the game. And for reminding me to have a little more fun!  Here's to a few more threes from Curry!

Last fall for my birthday, I asked to be better prepared for future Davidson basketball games.  I got a new Davidson sweatshirt for my birthday. You can be sure I'll be wearing it today!

Enjoy the Game! Let's Go Cats!!!!

Blessings,

Emily

P.S. 

For my fellow Davidson fans, here is a great interview with Curry that aired on NPR showcasing the combination of academics and athletics. I've provided the link for you to listen. It's a great way to start your Monday!

Davidson's Curry Shines In Court, Classroom

by Scott Graf

Click here Listen Now [3 min 32 sec] 

All Things Considered, January 8, 2009 · One of the best players in college basketball this year attends school in North Carolina. But it isn't at Duke or the University of North Carolina. Stephen Curry attends tiny Davidson College, which is known for its academics instead of athletics.

Photos:  Stephen Curry playing against USC in the first round of the NIT (taken from www.davidsonwildcats.com); Mom and I in our Sweet 16 shirts last year; Mom wearing my old Davidson t-shirt that says "Princeton" on the front and "The Davidson of the North" on the back; me this fall opening presents from Dad and Abbie and showing off my new sweatshirt from them.