The Big Reveal! (Finally!)

I have been promising that I'd get pictures of my new room up on my blog. I can't believe how long it's taken me to get them up here. Somehow the pictures just don't do justice to the room. But...drum roll please, here is the big reveal!

If you look at the pictures from before we painted and redecorated, you can see that it doesn't even look like the same bedroom. I love the paint color so much. The yellow turned out to be very restful and not too bright at all. The painted woodwork brightens up the entire room. I also have a new door--which is solid so it blocks out more noise from the kitchen.

The top picture is one of my favorite parts of the room. I was so determined to have something pretty on the ceiling to look at when I'm lying in bed. I absolutely love this light fixture. The glass almost sparkles in places. It has an uplight and a downlight, both of which can be dimmed to my liking. And the fan keeps the room nice and cool. I spend a lot of time looking up at this light and playing with the dimmer switch. :)

I love looking up at the light at night so much that I don't even notice that I have a white ceiling!

Here is my bed with the nightstand and the sconces. Above is the 'summer lightweight bedding' which I ended up getting later because the spread below is too hot for summer!

The lighting above the bed is great because it also dims to my liking. And all of my lights are adjustable with remote controls! The whole top drawer of my nightstand is full of remote controls for things!

Just a photo of the spring/fall bedding. Don't know what I will do in the winter when it is time for a down comforter! It's fun to mix things up a little with the bedding though.

View from the door/next to my bed. I got three pieces of furniture: the nightstand, dresser, and lingerie chest. I love being able to open the drawers and see the name of the company and our town printed on the inside. It was fun to support local businesses throughout the process (I kept telling myself we were stimulating the economy when I felt guilty about the bedroom). I felt guilty during a lot of the process, but now I'm enjoying the room so much the guilt has eased up a bit.

Lingerie chest. You can also sort of see my curtains, which are light and airy and fresh. I love having two windows now, instead of one.

I have wanted a vanity for a very long time because it is so difficult to stand for any length of time. I was unable to ever really put any make-up on because I couldn't sit anywhere in the bathroom. I found this antique vanity for a very nice price and I love, love, love having it in my room! I can put make-up on without worrying about passing out.

Also on the vanity is my beloved digital photo frame so that I have a perfect view of it from my bed.

I had to post a picture of my TV (yes, I'm having some serious cord management issues, which I have no idea how to fix!) because those of you who know me will find this entertaining that I have a HUGE flat screen TV in my bedroom and I LOVE it! It's soooo pretty! :) Erika calls a big TV in a room 'the vortex' because you just get sucked in. She's so right! I love being able to watch some TV in bed and be reclining.

So, that is my beautiful indulgent oasis of a bedroom! I find that I love being in my room, I look forward to being in it, and I have (so far), kept it pretty picked up (with help from Mom though).

Right now, I have very few things on the surfaces and no artwork on the walls. Somehow, it doesn't feel empty or stark to me at all. It just feels clean and fresh. I have enough things to look at with my TV, planter, photo frame, fancy lights, and grown-up furniture.

Eventually, I would like to get a stool for the vanity, a headboard for the bed, and an end of bed bench, but I'm too exhausted from all of the decision making to do that right now. And, I want to get my study in order a bit more.

I LOVE my room!!! What else can I say?! Have I used the word love enough in this post? I just can't believe what a difference it makes to have a space that is restful and peaceful. Oprah always says our home should rise up to meet us, and this room does that for me.

Most of all, I want to thank Mom, Dad and Abbie for ALL of the work and time they put into the bedroom. I do so little to help out physically, and they all worked so hard and put so much time into the project to make this room happen. And it wasn't always easy or low stress coordinating all of our different opinions! Sometimes I would cry just watching how hard they were working on my behalf. It's so hard to watch my parents have to do so much for me.

I also want to thank my Dad for using some of my Grandma's money and dedicating it to this room. Of course I wish I had my Grandma instead of this room, but I feel her surrounding me when I'm in this room. I know she's always with me.

I never thought everything would come together as well as it did. And each step of the way we had a LOT of bumps in the road. The painter put the sconces back on the wrong side of the bed. Or the fan remote turned on the lights for BOTH fans in the house at the same time. Every time we thought we were done, there was something more to do! I cannot imagine doing a whole house!

I'm so pleased with how it all turned out and relieved that all of the decisions I made worked out! Now, I can just enjoy my room.

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Ceiling fan/light fixture above the bed; Bed with summer bedding; Bed with spring/fall bedding and sconces above it; View of TV, dresser and lingerie chest; Lingerie chest; antique vanity; TV!

Mostly Medical: Endoscopy Time!

I have not been able to keep up with my blogging as I had hoped to!

On Friday of last week, I met with a GI doc. I could not have asked for a better appointment. Dr. GI was thorough, attentive, compassionate, and very careful to make sure that we do the testing so that we do our best to manage my ANS issues.

My first test will be on Wednesday morning. An endoscopy. I'm most concerned about the medication used for conscious sedation called propofol because, of course, its most common side effect is hypotension! I have such bad memories of my gallbladder surgery--even though I realize that this is a LOT different than going under general anesthesia.

After I left the office on Friday I felt so confident in Dr. GI and his team. I really do feel that they will do everything to make the procedure safe for me. Dr. GI emailed Dr. ANS immediately after my appointment, so I know that he is paying attention to my ANS issues.

In addition to the endoscopy I'll be having several other tests done for several other things, including a gastric emptying study, and other such fun things. I'll skip going into detail about them all now (I can't even remember all of them right now!) and update as each test approaches or the results are in. I don't know that we expect to find much, but at this point we do feel that it is a good idea to investigate these issues a bit further.

What I most remember about this appointment, besides how thorough Dr. GI was (amazing detail and attention to my medical history, current conditions, and great problem solving) was his compassion and empathy.

I know that I need to take away what he said to me and remember it when I'm struggling.

He said to me more than once, how good it made him feel to see me smiling. He said, "Most people who have been through what you have been through don't smile like you are." I said, "Really?" And he kept saying, "Yes."

Maybe I was surprised because I have met some other friends who are very sick and we are all pretty goofy and still smile--even though we do struggle a lot too. And I certainly have days when I don't smile. Also, Jeannine has also been through heck and back and she still laughs and makes me laugh.

He also asked me what my days were like. And asked if I got lonely. When he asked me if I was single I joked that it was pretty hard to date when you are homebound. He just genuinely said he was sorry. I'm not used to being asked how hard this is. I'm used to going to a medical appointment for, well, medical evaluation. When he started asking me about how difficult this experience must be I started crying. I told him it was difficult, that I had a lot of passion for life, and it was hard not to be able to do things with that passion. He just asked me to keep that passion.

I also found that Dr. GI appreciated that I knew things about various conditions and tests rather than finding it threatening in any way or as if I was trying to 'know it all'.

I can certainly see why people in this town sing this doctor's praises. I only wish he had been here years ago when I saw two GI doctors for my GB issues and both were completely dismissive.

I'm feeling a bit anxious about the endoscopy just because of the sedation part. Otherwise, I know it's time to have one done! I've been trying to avoid it for quite a while now!

I'll be heading over at 8:30 for check-in and 9:00 procedure on Wednesday. We chose to do it early in the morning so that I would be less dehydrated and not have to go as long without food. I'll be allowed to take my midodrine two hours before the procedure (7:00 am) to hopefully help with blood pressure.

We got some AWESOME tickets for the fireworks on Saturday, so I'm most wanting to feel well enough to go to those!!! I don't want to miss them and don't want to be feeling lousy for them!

Please send some good energy my way!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Iris in our yard. May.

Look Who Came To Visit Again!

On Wednesday afternoon Miss Rebekah and Kale came to visit. I am so spoiled!

He is almost eight weeks old now and I really enjoy watching how much he changes and grows between visits.

He had just had his shots the day before, so he was very, very tired. He slept in my arms for almost one and a half hours. What a treat!

The only problem is that a warm sleeping baby makes for a sleepy person holding him. It was hard to stay awake and keep a conversation with Rebekah! We both kept yawning.

Finally just as she was getting ready to leave he woke up. After much encouragement we got both of his eyes to open up and he showed off his smile! What a handsome little man.

Thanks so much for the visit Rebekah!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Me holding Kale; Kale showing off his smile.

And The Winner Is...

Blue Velvet!

Thanks to all of you who voted! 35 people voted, which I thought was a LOT!

The totals were:

Blue Velvet: 15

Blue Opal: 16

Candy Turquoise: 2

Candy Red: 3

Razzleberry: 10

In the end, I decided that I liked Razzleberry and Blue Velvet the best. Had I been a bit more 'gutsy', I might have gone for Razzleberry. Instead, I went with the more conservative Blue Velvet.

Even though Blue Opal won by one vote, I still had a vote as did Jeannine who was out of town during the voting. So, Blue Velvet snuck into the lead.

Thanks for letting me have fun with the voting process and color selection. It was a HUGE decision for me. And I had a LOT of fun talking about the colors rather than just medical stuff all of the time!

Hopefully the wheelchair will be here in about two weeks.

The next step: A name for the new stylin' chair.

Blessings,

Emily

P.S. This text color is the closest I can find to what I think the Blue Velvet looks like.

Lyme Log: Treatment Suspended

After my last ER visit I contacted Dr. Lyme to let keep him in the loop. I also wanted to see if any of the medications I have been taking for Lyme may be causing my GI issues (which we have suspected all along).

I received a call back from the nurse on Tuesday letting me know that Dr. Lyme wanted me to suspend all of my Lyme treatment.

This meant stopping four of my medications: Bicillin (no weekly shots), Plaquenil, Malarone and Zithromax.

The last time I had any of my Lyme meds was the Saturday June 22nd before the ER visit Sunday morning.

Last week was my first week without a bicillin shot...and today would have been 'shot day' but it wasn't!

At first I really freaked out about stopping the Lyme meds. I was really worried about how far it might set me back, how much the Lyme might 'catch up', and how hard it would be to restart the meds. And, what if the Lyme meds are causing the GI issues? Then what do we do?

The nurses at Dr. Lyme's office are fantastic--they are knowledgeable and compassionate. When I jumped ahead to the question of 'What if'? the nurse said: "You can't go there right now. Right now you just need to figure out what is going on GI-wise and then we will go from there. You won't get set back in a way you can't come back. And the Bicillin stays in your system for a month."

And she's right. I think that after so much craziness last week with the ER visit and then the sudden, unexpected need to suspend my Lyme meds, left me a little overwhelmed at first. It all seemed to be strange timing since it was also my anniversary week. Was everything going to heck in a handbasket?

A little perspective and time always helps! By the day of my anniversary I felt much calmer and knew that it was out of my control.

I'm at a point now where I know that I have done everything in my power to move forward with the treatment. I know that my Lyme doctor would not stop treatment if he did not feel that it was necessary. He's also very cautious, which I appreciate.

I'm now trying to just enjoy the break from the meds. It might give us some sort of baseline to see how I am doing and where we are at 3 1/2 years into treatment. This is the first real break I have taken in 3 1/2 years. At this point I still have some antibiotics working in my system.

Emotionally and physically, the break feels really, really, really good.

I was starting to think that I was just a very depressed human being and had lost my joyfulness completely. Interestingly, as soon as I have a bit more energy my mood improves tremendously and I find myself motivated to reach out to people and to get stuff done.

Now the only problem here is that I don't know where to start! I don't know what to prioritize! I find that I just want to tackle everything at once. This is kind of leaving my Autonomic Nervous System super-charged and agitated.

Should I take a break and just enjoy life for a change? Or get some much needed stuff done? I'm trying to find the balance between both. So far I've been overdoing it already and need to be better at pacing myself.

I am not running marathons, of course, but I certainly feel better the last couple of days than I have in a long time.

I'm continuing a bland diet, no Lyme meds, and then on Friday I see the GI doctor. After that I'll have a better sense of where we go from here, what might be going on, and what tests need to be done (Ugh, more tests. Pbth.).

I'm trying to just realize that I have no control over the suspension of treatment and the best thing to do is just enjoy the spiritual, emotional, and physical break. It's going to be very, very hard to go back to treatment.

I'll keep you posted!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Wigelia earlier this spring. One taken in the daylight, one taken in the evening.

Your Votes...

Keep 'em coming!

It's still all tied up!

I have to make my final decision by this afternoon!

I think that God is playing a joke on me. I'm a completely indecisive person. So I asked others to vote and make the decision for me. And guess what? He gave me a tie! Haha! That way I'd still have to make my own darned decision!

Hope you had a good weekend. Happy Father's Day to the dads out there!

I've had a lot of fun getting everyone's commentary and votes! It makes the process seem more fun and less daunting. Makes me think about girlie stuff like colors rather than the reality of the wheelchair. I mean, it's really important that it match my clothes and my complexion, right?

Thanks to all of you loyal voters!!!!

Blessings,

Emily

A Peaceful Spirit On My Anniversary

By not planning anything for my anniversary this year, I feel that I left myself open for the day to unfold in its own way.

Wednesday night, I listened to my favorite album (purchased another year for my anniversary), Mary Chapin Carpenter's The Calling to remind myself of the beauty in some of the experiences I have had on this journey. I fell asleep listening to Debbie Friedman's Renewal of Spirit, an album of Jewish healing songs. It's like falling asleep to the singing of prayers and I've listened to this album over and over again for many years.

I awoke on Thursday with a very peaceful spirit. I haven't felt that quiet and peaceful in a very long time. And it was the first good night's sleep I had gotten in a long time too.

Maxine came for my massage. I sat outside on the porch with Asher for a short while in the afternoon. I opened the mail and found my letter from MA approving my wheelchair. I had a good nap. Mom and I went for a drive in the country after dinner and everything is so incredibly gorgeous right now. Mom brought home the lovely planter that is in the photos for this post. I found two women to sponsor on Kiva.

With all of the medical questions up in the air right now and especially after my latest ER visit, I was feeling too exhausted and weary to plan anything for the anniversary.

In the end, I had a beautiful day. What was most beautiful about the day was that along with my peaceful spirit, I was really able to take in the love that people sent my way. I was able to really have time to read emails and take them in. I was able to read them over and over again. And not feel rushed or hurried.

Thank you all so much for holding me in such love always--and especially yesterday. A day that could have been incredibly painful, was made beautiful in ways I never expected.

Thank you.

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Planter Mom purchased for my anniversary. I LOVE it and hope it will last a long time!

VOTE! Wheelchair Color!

Guess what arrived in the mailbox today? (Hint: It wasn't TV Guide. It came in addition to a lovely postcard from Dana).

My approval from Medical Assistance for an ultra-lightweight wheelchair!

MA has 21 days to make a decision--but I'm not sure if that is 21 business days or 21 calendar days. So, this happened a little more quickly than expected and I'm relieved.

I can't help but come back over and over to the fact that the approval arrived in the mail on my anniversary of getting sick. Is it a little push in the direction of moving forward? Spiritually I don't know what it all means, but I know there is meaning in the timing.

Above is a picture of the type of chair and model I will be getting. Below is a picture of Dad with Dan, from the medical supply store, looking very serious trying to figure out how the rigid chair will fit in the trunk of the car.

Now that the chair is approved I NEED YOUR HELP!

I need to pick a color ASAP so that they can order one. And despite all of this time looking at the little color swatches I can't decide!

Do I want a color that will be very, very subtle or a little more bold? Do I want something that will 'go with everything'?

Mostly, I feel that the chair is already 'obvious', but I don't want to go overboard color-wise. Usually, I'm for bold and bright. But one thing to consider is do I want to be wearing the bold and bright colors or do I want my chair to be bold and bright?

I've narrowed down to the following five colors (and believe me, this is narrowing it down). The pink is terrible. So disappointing! I've put a poll on the right-hand side of my blog so that you can vote!

Hopefully the chair will be ordered on Monday, so the poll will close Sunday night.

1. Blue Velvet (a deep bluish-purple, shiny)

2. Blue Opal (darker than the blue velvet, truly blue but not bright at all (I did not like the Candy Blue or Classic Blue) has a hint of sparkle to it (not at all tacky), will hide dirt and chips well because of the sparkle)

3. Candy Turquoise (a true bright turquoise similar to what you see in stores and catalogs right now, shiny)

4. Candy Red (a true shiny red. I love red but my only concern is does this color make you think of trauma? Or will it be cool like a Davidson Wildcat! I saw the dude on Glee had red on his chair and I liked it more than I thought I would)

5. Razzleberry (a sort of plum color, shiny. can't really be called purple.)

This is the best I can do description-wise, as I don't have a degree in color-description. The online pictures are not at all accurate.

The chair in the photos is Blue Velvet so you can get a good idea of what that color looks like. I can email a photo of a friend in her Blue Opal chair if you'd like. Otherwise, I don't have much of an idea what the little swatches of colors are going to transfer to looking like on a chair.

I think the store should have all of the colors on chairs so you can choose! It's an important decision. I have to live with this color for a LONG time.

Deciding on the chair and the features was a very long and time-consuming process. I never realized all that went into choosing a chair and choosing the right chair for me. I ended up getting a rigid chair, which as you can see in the photo above folds differently than a traditional folding chair. The back folds down. The wheels pop off. It's a bit more difficult to transport than a folding chair, but it is much lighter. I also found this model more comfortable and I liked the footplate better than the individual footrests. I can sit cross-legged in the chair and it will be adjusted to fit my back, etc. Wheel type, castor size, back height, cushion type, seat dump, back angle, seat width, seat depth all matter.

We decided that given the types of cars we have and are likely to have in the future (and the types of cars most of my friends have), I would be able to transport a rigid chair without much issue. One of the taxi services in town now uses all mini-vans, so if I get to the point of outings on my own, I can use that sort of service. The lightness of the chair matters if I am eventually able to propel myself AND for lifting it in and out of the car.

It was as stressful as buying a car, or so I felt! In its own way it is my vehicle.

Now CAST YOUR VOTE!!!! (You know how indecisive I am. I need your help!) The poll closes Sunday evening! And just in case you can't choose just one color you may vote for more than one color. :) I set up the poll so that you can do that.

(Don't forget to go directly to my blog if you are in email: www.adancinglight.blogspot.com to vote.)

Blessings and Thanks,

Emily

Photos: The ever-patient Dan helping us choose a wheelchair while I was staying at my Dad's house. He spent all afternoon with us. He was wonderful. The Quickie GT rigid wheelchair in Blue Velvet.

When The World Was My Oyster

I can't believe that eleven years after getting sick I'm still grieving the 'old me'.

I have years of photos that haven't been put in albums. Part of that is because of lack of energy, but a large part of it is how painful it is to see how hopeful I felt about the road ahead of me. It's painful to see a body that works and wakes up every day feeling alive. A body that danced and played music and studied for endless hours. A mind that felt sharp and alert. The world was my oyster, everyone said, and that is certainly how I felt until June 18th, 1998.

I still grieve her. I grieve her dreams. I grieve her hopes. I grieve her ability to engage in her passions. I grieve her old body.

I realize many of us look back on our 'old selves' with a touch of nostalgia and of missing 'what used to be'--the carefree sense of life we felt when we were younger, the freedoms we had, the hardships we didn't know, the bodies we no longer have, etc. I also realize that life isn't fair, that no one ever promised us a rose garden and that so very many of us (including those reading right now) are suffering themselves.

For me, my photo albums from college sit untouched because it's too painful to look at that time in my life.

I first got the idea to post this picture from a post on Mayday Productions. And I realized how not alone I was in grieving my old self.

When a college friend scanned in a bunch of photos from our time at Davidson one day, I was confronted with a visual picture of the 'old me' that, until then, I had mostly refused to face. The photo above is one of the pictures she scanned and posted on Facebook. Otherwise I do not have any pictures pre-digital camera on my computer. When I look at this photo of me, I want to tell her to enjoy life even more. Study a little less because Phi Beta Kappa isn't everything. Soaking in the entire life experience is. Go to more performances on campus, spend more time with professors, travel more, date more, love more, try more new things, spend more time on your passions, take more time to enjoy things now--rather than always thinking about what's next.

I love this photo because I'm having fun and feeling alive. It's so many parts of the 'old me' I loved--being girlie, getting dressed up, going dancing, being with friends, taking a break from the intense studying, etc.

The last time I knew what it was like to be a part of the world was when I was at Davidson.

When I look at pictures of the 'old me' I wonder:

What parts of her do I want to preserve? What parts of her have I preserved? What parts of her do I want to let go? Who am I without her? Who have I become in place of her? Who am I now? Who am I because of her? What is my 'oyster' now?

I have decided to pass this anniversary of 'getting sick' quietly. Last year, I really felt the need for a ten year anniversary ritual. This year, I have a routine massage with Maxine which keeps the day just like a 'normal' Thursday.

Instead of anything big, I decided what I really wanted to treat myself to was a pot of flowers for my new room. So we'll see what Mom brings home! Fresh flowers and plants always make me happy. I also decided I will find someone to sponsor on Kiva.org.

Blessings,

Emily

Photo: From '70's night at Davidson. Getting ready to go dancing! I do not remember if this was Freshman or Sophomore year. Davidson girls, can any of you tell?? Loralea--is this in front of our Rich dorm or Watts dorm?! And yes, this is my mom's dress from the '70's! Susannah posted this, along with a bunch of other photos, from our time at Davidson. And no, drinking was not involved in a 'good time' for us! We were goofy enough without the alcohol.

Linky love: Mayday productions. One of my fave blogs, along with it's partner Team Coco.

Under Our Skin: A Friend's Movie Review

As discussed in an earlier post, I've been loaning the DVD of Under Our Skin to friends and family to watch. I have a sort of 'Netflix' set-up going.

Recently, one of the women I met through DINET viewed the movie and shared her feelings on her blog. I really appreciate Rachel taking so much of her precious time and energy to watch this movie and write up a little review.

Click here to read her well-written and concise review of the movie. It's interesting to get perspectives from people outside of myself, since it's so difficult to see outside of the experience when one is living it. Feel free to write a review after you've seen the movie and let me know if I can post it on my blog!

Thanks Rachel for letting me share some 'Linky Love'!

Blessings,

Emily

Photo: Press art for publicity of upcoming showings of Under Our Skin.

To the ER Again. Pbth.

Because I like to keep things exciting, we had another weekend trip to the ER at 5 AM Sunday morning.

I had been up all night with stomach pain and nausea similar to the attack over Memorial Day Weekend. Finally, at 5 AM we decided not to wait it out as long this time and headed to the ER (via our own form of transportation rather than an ambulance). We heeded all of your advice not to wait things out quite as long this go around!

I received the GI cocktail (Lidocaine, Donnetal, Maalox) and some Reglan--which did not work as well as the medication combo I got last time. I also got fluids. I should have been decently hydrated because I did not wait as long this time to head to the ER, but my electrolytes were still off (not as badly as last time though).

Despite the fact the I was still tossing my cookies as they were getting ready to discharge me, they sent me home anyways. That was sort of how the entire visit went this morning. When I arrived I started throwing up and the doctor walks in and starts asking, "So what brings you here today?" Um, it's a little difficult to talk while you are tossing your cookies! He also looks at my record and says, "You have lupus, right?" What?!

It was a frustrating visit to the ER. I'm not sure what other choice we had though. I had already called the doctor on call and exhausted my at-home med choices.

I'm hoping to get some much needed sleep tonight, rest as much as possible, and get into see my PCP on Tuesday afternoon when my mom has off of work.

Mom's keeping me on a diet of her famous homemade chicken soup, cream of rice cereal, bananas, applesauce, and Smart Water (thank you Kristen for that tip!). Hopefully this will keep attacks at bay.

My GI consult isn't until June 26th, so unless that can be expedited, I'm just hoping to stay attack-free until then by staying on the bland diet and stopping my Lyme meds, which are probably aggravating all of my GI distress.

It's all frustrating to say the least...keep your fingers crossed!

Just wanted to use my blog as a way to touch base as I don't think I'll be able to be on email or telephone much other than to check my messages. I wrote a couple of posts the other day so I may publish those while I'm waiting to get back to blogging again.

Hope your weekend was a bit less eventful!!

Blessings,

Emily

"Little Girl" Furniture...

Here is Claire: The proud new owner of my "little girl" bedroom suite. When I got ready to move out of my old bedroom, I casually mentioned on my blog that if anyone was interested in my old bedroom suite to let me know. I honestly did not expect anyone to reply, but oh how perfectly things worked out.

Carrie emailed me and said she was interested in the furniture for Claire. I'm thrilled to have Claire use this furniture and enjoy it. It's from a local store that we all grew up knowing a loving that is no longer around because of the influx of big box stores.

Carrie and I grew up together. Her parents are still our neighbors of 33 years. It couldn't have worked out more beautifully.

I just made Carrie promise not to make Claire keep the furniture for 27 years!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Friday evening visit with Carrie and Claire while Daddy and Pappy load up Claire's new furniture!

Friday Afternoon Visit: Kale and Rebekah

I got another Friday afternoon visit from Rebekah and Kale today! Kale is now six weeks old, much more awake and alert, and Mommy has 7 1/2 inches less hair than last time she was here. He's still a bit of a fussy pants, but with our expertise we caught some quiet moments on camera!

I didn't sleep at all Thursday night and I think I saw almost every hour pass on the clock. I thought I would just cancel and have Rebekah come another day.  When we couldn't work out a time to reschedule I knew that I'd feel worse missing out on a visit from them than I would being tired during the visit. I would have just been sitting at home being a crabby pants and feeling disappointed about not seeing the two of them.

Thanks Rebekah for another visit from you and your cutie. It's so much fun to see both of you! What am I gonna do when you go back to work? :P

Blessings,

Emily

Photos:  Kale (six weeks old) and Rebekah; Me and Kale.  You can't see it on Kale's outfit, but he's wearing something with little doggies on it again (Me and R are both big dog people!).

Cousin Day Visits

My cousin Dana (a.k.a. Day) is well-known here for the continuous stream of postcards she keeps coming to our mailbox.  It's quite the motivator to make me go to the mailbox most days. That and my TV Guide. She manages to find the funkiest postcards around the city of Chicago. It's like getting a tour of the city through cool postcards--from museums, from restaurants, from art shows--which I love because I haven't been to Chicago in more than 15 years. So far my favorites have been postcards of the famous buildings in Chicago.

 Lately, a friend gave Dana a bunch of Garfield postcards --I wonder how old those are?! Dana is full of goofy and entertaining stories (I think she could be a writer), and her friends like to chip in with commentary too.  The smiles are always appreciated!

Here's the face behind the postcards:  Me and Day by the irises in the yard.  These are pics from her visit here over Memorial Day weekend.  The photo op was the biggest 'outing' I had in days!

Mom and Dana by the irises. My mom has one brother, Stan, who came to visit us in August 2007.  Dana is one of my two cousins on that side of the family. I cannot seem to find a resemblance between myself and Dana! I look like the oddball on the Jewish side of the family.

I love, love, love the shirt that Dana is wearing!

Dana was here Memorial Day weekend--right after my latest ER trip.  I'm not sure if you can tell from these photos how completely wiped I am or if the blush I'm wearing saved me. 

We delayed Dana's visit a day, but I still hadn't really recuperated at all, which was very frustrating as I haven't seen Dana in four years.  When company comes I can usually 'perk up' and crash afterwards.  This time around I felt crappy and cranky to boot--which always makes me feel disappointed because people travel so far to visit and take their precious time and energy to do so. I don't like to feel like I'm letting my visitors down.

Thank you so much for coming to visit Day--and for your continuous flow of mail for FIVE years now. I hope that next time you are here to visit life finds both of us in a new and more contented place.  I know you will start missing the slow pace of life we have here, all of the green, and most of all, the ICE CREAM! :)

Lots of love, 

EE

Photos:  A collage of postcards from Dana; Me and Dana out in the yard (I managed to get outside on Day 2 of her visit to take photos); Mom and Day; Me and Day hanging out in the sunroom.

Opening

"When one door closes another door opens;

but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us."

--Alexander Graham Bell--

On the same day that I took the peony pictures, I also captured our irises blooming in various stages.  

As much as I promise myself not to look at the closed doors, I so often catch myself doing so. I really hate when I get stuck in this place of looking at what I wish I had or what I thought I would have.  I seem to do so especially as my anniversary of getting sick approaches. Maybe I need to just accept this as part of the process and part of the experience of chronic illness?

Still, I'm listening and watching carefully to see what new doors are opening. I know they are there. I'm just waiting to discover them.

Blessings,

Emily

Photos:  Irises in our yard--closed; partially open; fully open.