Update with Good News and Many Thanks!

Dear Friends and Family!


I don't even know where to start. I've slept about 6 hours in the past 36 hours, so I'm beyond exhausted. But wanted to get out an update to let you know what we know right now. First, an update on how things are going, and then some more details on the help I think we will need as we've been blessed with an abundance of generous offers. I wish I could respond to all of you individually, but right now that is not possible. Know that I've cried and smiled a lot today because of the love we're receiving. We are so blessed by you!


The very good news is that it appears that Mom did NOT have a heart attack. While in the ambulance it went down to 16 beats a minute, but never stopped. She never lost blood flow to the brain. Her heart muscles looked good and her enzyme levels did also. She literally called the ambulance just in time. 


The cardiologist said she was 'trying very hard' to have a heart attack. :P I think, in fact, she's been on the verge of one for a while now. Right now I'm just thanking God she called the ambulance when she did, because she literally lost consciousness right as they were pulling up to the hospital entrance. 


Still,l I noticed when I was able to get out of bed today that she had somehow seen my note asking her to bring some cough drops upstairs to me. I think she went back downstairs AFTER calling the ambulance and brought them up for me. That is just classic Mom. I even watched her WALK out the door with the EMT at 4 AM.


She also kept waiting to call the ambulance because she didn't want to wake me up. She was trying to wait until morning. Oh my.  I want her alive more than I want my sleep! My biggest fear is losing my mom, so this experience has been terrifying. I am still in fear mode.


I'm fighting the coulda, woulda, shoulda's right now....we have a lot to learn from what happened, but right now we just need to get through this time.


I've gotten to hear her voice three times today. This was wonderful. She sounded really good this morning, but exhausted tonight. 


The AMAZING woman known to all of you as Jeannine, and to me as my 'sister' and best friend and to my mom as a 'second daughter', has been up since 4 AM and with my Mom every step of the way. She called me constantly with updates, she popped in and out of Mom's room all day long (she works at the hospital), she spoke with the cardiologist and the neurosurgeon (Mom was scheduled to have surgery on her neck on December 16th), she told the doctors about Mom's med sensitivities and family history, she took care of my emotions, she sat with Mom during meals, and well, just did it all. 


It stinks not being able to be there with Mom, but I honestly think Jeannine is a hundred times better at doing this than I am! :P Sadly, that is from too much experience with her own mom.


I also could not have made it through the night without my friend, Kristen, who I met through DINET. I was so scared and alone and she was awake. She spent those morning hours on gchat with me. I desperately wanted to pray, and she prayed with me over gchat! She also knows a lot about cardiology and the heart, so she could talk me through what was happening to my mom. The blessing of her presence got me through.


Soooo, I think that Mom will get to come home Thursday. She is still in ICU for the night, but will be moved to PCU (Progressive Care) tomorrow. She will like having a few less wires I am sure.


Abbie took care of me and Asher today. Dad was scheduled to go to a conference in SF from Wednesday to Saturday, and has cancelled his trip, so I have people to be here with me right now when I need it. Dad is not good at anything domestic, but he can be good at just 'being' and hanging out. :) Abbie is doing the domestic work. I am sure Dad's sisters are laughing at this right about now. 


I have not been able in any way to respond to the overwhelming amount of support we are receiving. Getting your text messages, blog responses, phone messages, and emails all throughout the day really helped me to feel less alone. I really appreciated those of you who shared stories of your own parents going through something similar and doing well now. I needed to hear that! I also appreciated the many offers to be a listening ear....I will probably have to take you up on that soon! You also helped me to feel less afraid of getting the support we need when Mom comes home. We are going to need to learn to ask for help. I also can't wait to tell her about all of the messages and make her smile!


Your offers to do everything from walk the dog to cook have been so very generous and overwhelming. I am not sure where to start or how to ask! I don't know what we will need or what Mom's restrictions will be, but I anticipate the biggest thing we may need is food--meals ready to go or freeze and groceries--especially over the next couple of weeks. Otherwise, we may need rides to appointments. For those of you who are enthusiastic about walking Asher, I am sure he would enjoy a walk, as he probably almost forgets what that is by now. Poor guy.


Right now we have two pots of soup on the way. I requested some Jewish penicillin (chicken soup) from our neighbor when he asked what he could make. And Rebekah has a pot of Tuscan bean soup (or something like that) on the way tomorrow also. We have fresh pears and apples coming. And homemade applesauce already arrived. I haven't felt like eating much today...so the soups are sounding very good and I think they will go down easy when Mom comes home and is tired.


I think this should get us through the weekend. Many of you have asked about food, and what my restrictions are. I cannot eat gluten or dairy, but a tiny trace of either will not be a problem. We eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, organic foods, lean meats, fish, etc. 


I have no experience running the house or being head of the household, so I'm slightly lost and overwhelmed! I need to try to make a grocery list with the special foods I eat from Wegman's so we'll have some of those items around. So, I am looking for someone comfortable with going to Wegman's for some of the foods that I eat (I will make a very detailed list of the gluten-free items). 


Otherwise, I'm focused on getting meals lined up.


I was so scared (and still am) about managing things so that Mom is less overwhelmed when she gets home. I am scared about managing with two people who are so limited in functioning. 


First though, I just want her home. I want her healing well. I want to hug and kiss her. I'm still in the freaking out/hypervigilent mode! 


I am completely at a loss for how to thank you all for your continued kindness and generosity. Thank you to everyone near and far, who offered both emotional support and physical support in a multitude of ways. We are truly, truly blessed to have people like you in our lives. Thank you so much for all of your prayers for my mom. Just as Kristen was praying about a catheterization, Mom was taken back to the cath lab. So, please keep your prayers for her coming! 


Blessings,


Emily