Wheelchair Outings: I Brought All Of You Along With Me!

Today was definitely a day to 'make hay while the sun was shining', as the weather is going to cool off again on Sunday. Plus, I finally got a good night's sleep and a little break from herxing.

We drove to a local park where Mom took me for a ride in the standard wheelchair I currently have on loan from the medical supply store. This chair is super heavy, so pushing me the half mile around the park was pretty hard work--even with Asher's 'help'.  When I get my custom wheelchair it is going to feel like a sports car instead of a Buick! The sun and fresh air were glorious.

I just got the chair on Thursday and have already been out in in twice. Last night Jeannine came over for dinner (wow, a real Friday night!). Afterwards, even though I was exhausted she kept noodging me to go for a walk with the new chair. She kept eyeing it and saying she wanted to take me out for a little spin. She told me she was not going to take no for an answer. So we went for a short little walk to get me over my initial 'hump' of being gun shy about going out in the chair.  Nothing like best friends, eh? :)

Today's outing was very successful.  Even Asher seemed to have a good time. He is usually not an enthusiastic walker, dragging behind Mom, and dawdling along. Today he was very perky.  I wasn't sure how he would do with the wheelchair as he tends to get under our feet a lot (he's a herding dog) and he barks at everything that moves.  He had already been barking at the chair in the house. I'm happy to report that he did great! Now, I just need to train him to pull me!

In the photo above I am also decked out in a new shirt I got on another outing.  It's called 'Pink Happy Floral Print'. Perfect. Two weeks before Easter I decided I wanted some cheery spring clothes. Unfortunately, I tend to jump into things a little too fast, overestimate my abilities and energy level and overdo.  While I really loved being able to pick out my own clothes and make my own decisions (and got some super cute clothes), the outing left my ANS in a storm that kept me up all night.  We only went to Penney's, and to ONE section to look at ONE brand of clothes, but I still got sick. Malls are probably not the best place to go on a busy weekend! Way too much overstimulation. I think it has been at least five years since I have been to the mall! Now I know why. I didn't even recognize most of the stores.  Still, I felt empowered being able to choose what I wanted.

I have a whole world out there to explore! I can't wait!

On Thursday this past week, I met with the specialist from the medical supply store who works exclusively with selling and fitting wheelchairs. He came to my house and brought an ultra lightweight chair for me to try.  It was a strange feeling to get in a chair and try it out for the first time. What I found was that I could push myself with ease! I could not believe it. The meeting was great, but also very overwhelming.

I did not realize how many options are available and how many decisions I need to make, including color of course! If I knew what I wanted know, I could potentially have my custom chair in about six weeks, which would be great for summer. But I also want to make a careful and well-thought out decision, so I am going to have to slow the process down a bit which is hard because I'm really itching to get the new chair. The one we have on loan is incredibly bulky, heavy, and hard to use. 

After the middle of May, I think I may have to declare a decision-free month! Good grief. I am so tired of decision making right now with all of the decorating and wheelchair stuff.

More than anything, I want to thank all of YOU--my readers, friends, and family--for your support as I have started the process of getting a wheelchair. 

I had no idea what would come out of the post I wrote on getting a wheelchair. I just knew that I had to write about it because it is such a significant part of my life right now.

Your responses brought me smiles and tears.  You gave me strength and courage.  You humbled me.  You empowered me. You told me to use the tools available to me. You told me 'way to go'. You told me to 'get out there and mix things up.' You told me that the people who get out there and live their lives, even if they are in a wheelchair, are the winners. You told me you couldn't wait to take me on an outing. You told me it would feel like old times just to run an errand together. You told me you'd take me out to dinner. You told me this was a great decision. You supported me 100%.

Most of all, you enveloped me in love.  You reassured me that you loved me, chair or no chair. That you wanted me to live my life as much as possible and you were right there with me, cheering me on, and loving me through every step. 

The ego is a hard thing. I watched an Oprah with Michael J. Fox shortly after I posted about getting a wheelchair. He said that vanity has to be the first thing to go. That you can't spend time worrying about what you look like or what other people think of you. I know he's right, but that's easier said than done.

What I do know though, is that when I went to the mall, for a little walk with Jeannine, and to the park today, I felt like I could do it because I knew the people who love me the most and know me support me.  And I cared a lot less about what anyone else around me saw or felt. I felt you with me on all of my outings.

On each outing we ran into people we knew--either they said nothing and acted completely unphased by the chair, or they said how glad they were I was out enjoying the fresh air and using the new chair.

I continue to find my blog to be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling things I do.  I've missed having much time for it lately, but I know I'll find my groove once some of the redecorating, chair decisions and doctors appointments are over! I also find that increasingly I have to rely on it as my primary method of keeping in touch (especially while most of my energy outside herxing and resting goes to these major physical and emotional changes happening in my life right now). Thank you for helping to make my blog a place that I can always be me. And thank you for reading!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos:  Local park (it was busy today!); Me stylin' in my new blouse. My first wheelchair pic; Asher walking in front of me as mom pushed me.