Get Me Through December
Artist: Alison Krauss
Album: A Hundred Miles Or More: A Collection
How pale is the sky that brings forth the rain
As the changing of seasons prepares me again
For the long bitter nights and the wild winter's day
My heart has grown cold my love stored away
My heart has grown cold my love stored away
I've been to the mountain left my tracks in the snow
Where souls have been lost and the walking wounded go
I've taken the pain no girl should endure
Faith can move mountains of that I am sure
But faith can move mountains of that I am sure
Just get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Get me through December
So I can start again
No divine purpose brings freedom from sin
And peace is a gift that must come from within
I've looked for the love that will bring me to rest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest
Get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Get me through December
So I can start again
[Get Me Through December Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
Why I chose these lyrics: First, I absolutely love Alison Krauss--her musicianship is outstanding, her voice is amazing. During an All Songs Considered podcast summing up the best and worst in music for 2007, one of the commentators remarked that Krauss is arguably the best voice in country music today. She is currently grabbing a great deal of attention from critics and fans alike for her collaboration of duets with Robert Plant on the album Raising Sand. (Yup, that one's on my wish list too!).
Hannukah came early in December this year and once I started listening to A Hundred Miles or More, I found myself listening to this CD every night. Most of the songs on this album are somber, yet somehow Krauss infuses them with hope and and light. The entire album is wonderful, however, I found myself hitting the 'repeat' button a lot during Get Me Through December because right now it is the song on the album that speaks to me the most.
Krauss sings the song that I could not voice. Her words are, in a sense, the prayer I couldn't pray. She's crying out to get through her heartache, which makes the song seem like it's just a downer. But she overshadows the sadness by transmitting, through her voice, hope--in faith and finding peace within. Her voice is quiet, mellow, and gentle, yet passionate, spiritual and powerful at the same time.
I don't like to 'wish time away'. I'm not ready for another year to be over yet. But at the same time, December has been one of those 'icky' months. I have been struggling concurrently spiritually, emotionally and physically which is always a recipe for emotional disaster and meltdown. The Lyme treatment hasn't been going so hot, the stress level in our home is beyond high, and I am wondering why I can't find my spiritual center.
Most of the time I am able to find contentment, joy, gratitude and acceptance of what is. But sometimes, as I did this month, I find myself weary, tired, frustrated and angry--at this illness, at what it's taken from me, at feeling trapped in my own body, and so much more.
I'm currently listening to a Jewish fiction book, Joy Comes in the Morning. The title is based on Psalm 30: "The weeping comes at night, but joy comes in the morning." The Rabbi, and main character, is having a spiritual crisis herself. Although the book is not the greatest in many respects, it speaks to me deeply in regards to where I am at spiritually. Another character in the book asks: "Joy comes in the morning. Or does it? Is it all a lie?" What this book has reminded me is that we all, no matter how spiritual, find ourselves doubting and questioning. One of my favorite aspects of Judaism is the aspect that requires us to question G-d.
I only have one more disc left (which I hope to finish tonight) and I have confidence that Joy will come in the morning at the end of this book, even if it is bittersweet. And, as I always do, I'll find my way back to joy. In reality, I have little to complain about in comparison to other times of crisis. I've found myself asking myself, "What is my problem?" or chastising myself to, "Snap out of it." This doesn't work. We grieve in many ways, on may levels, and for many different reasons. And this month I just needed a little time to grieve--and weep.
Blessings,
Emily
Note: This 'inspirational' blog post is dedicated to my favorite cynic, Uncle Stan.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Taking Care of Our Most Vulnerable...
After dinner, Asher and I went on our daily outing to the mailbox, in anticipation of the arrival of perhaps another holiday card bringing holiday cheer. We did get a card full of cheer.
However, I also received a notice from the County Assistance Office letting me know that as of January 1, 2008 my food stamp allotment would be reduced from $40 a month to $34 a month. Just three months ago, in October of this year, my food stamps increased from $31 to $40 a month. Who can adequately sustain and nourish themselves on any of these amounts?
The reason for the DECREASE in the monthly allotment? As stated in the notice: "Your food stamp benefits will change based on the 2.3% Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) that you will receive in your Social Security benefits and/or your Supplemental Security Income in January 2008.
Let's take note of that 2.3% increase in Supplemental Security Income (SSI) that I receive. (Note: I receive SSI and Medical Assistance (not Medicare) because I became sick right out of college and did not 'pay into the system' long enough to receive SSDI benefits and Medicare).
In 2007, my monthly income from the Federal government was $623. That 2.3% raise amounts to a whopping $14 a month more in income, for a grand total of $637 starting January 1, 2008.
Now, my food stamps have been 'adjusted' based on this raise. Do the math. Now my monthly increase is $8. What will I ever do with all that extra money?
I also received $27.40 per month in 2007 from the State government. I have yet to receive notice of a change in that figure. Should be in the mail soon, surely filling me with holiday joy.
Okay, so I don't usually discuss money on my blog or very publicly. Even some of my close friends know very little about the actual expenses and financial binds disability creates.
I was so completely outraged tonight though, that I felt compelled to write, compelled to speak up. While I try not to discuss money and politics, I realized that not sharing this story would be hiding part of myself. I know that many of my friends and I disagree politically, so I try to be more neutral on my blog. I realized, however, that part of the reason I am blogging now is to be authentically me. So, I'm taking a risk and stepping out of my box. I'm not asking my friends to agree with me, I'm just voicing what I feel.
I have searched and searched for the famous quote that discusses that we must judge ourselves as a society not by our wealthiest members but by how we care for those most unable to care for themselves. The closest I have found is this:
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little. --Franklin D. Roosevelt--
If you know the quote I'm looking for, let me know!
On a societal level, I believe that it is our responsibility as citizens of this world, as human beings to provide for those who cannot provide for themselves. We all deserve health care, affordable housing, food, and education to name a few!
Most of you know where I stand politically, but to me this isn't a political topic. It's simply what we as human beings owe each other.
On a personal level, the entire situation terrifies me. In my fights for Medical Assistance to pay for Lyrica and Ambien, I have discussed my frustration with health care (or lack thereof). But, I have not discussed the issue of SSI.
I live in absolute fear. Maybe I need to let go, trust in God, trust in humanity, but I'm always scared. Because I have SSI rather than SSDI, I cannot have ANY assets of my own. This means that if I try to save money it would need to be 'hidden' in another person's name. It means that if my parents die and leave me assets the government will immediately take away my MA/health care. (If you receive SSDI,on the other hand, you can have assets.)
I know that I am incredibly fortunate, but so many others are not. Still, I also know that just as I didn't get a 'free pass' in life from illness, I don't get a 'free pass' from poverty either. Every time I donate to Good Will, I know that it could be me who needs those goods. When we donate to the food bank, I know that it could be me who needs that food. I am not 'special' or 'chosen', I'm just simply lucky right now.
I also know that my parents are generous, self-sacrificing human beings who have worked so hard to provide for me and have done all that they can to ensure that if I am disabled and unable to work for the rest of my life, they have tried to prepare. They have tried to prepare by putting the money they have saved in a trust, which the government cannot take away.
A trust, however, means that I will NEVER have financial freedom. I am dependent on those in charge of the trust to dole out monthly payments to me. Even with a trust, the government can say that I have too many assets and take away my Medical Assistance. As a side note, I thankfully have the best of people taking care of me and they will never hurt me or take the money for themselves.
The thought that even with a trust I may not be protected terrifies me. No health care plan would cover me. And any money left to me would be quickly depleted by medical expenses.
We know for a fact that one of the top reasons people file for bankruptcy in this country is because they cannot pay their medical bills.
Maybe it's a waste of energy to be afraid of what will happen to me. Maybe it's not helping anyone that I feel tremendous guilt for what I do have.
All I know, is that while I live comfortably because I am fortunate to have a team of family members holding me up, I'm easily one step away from not being so fortunate. While I'm warm and toasty with a full belly and the best health care I can get, someone else is not. And that could be me. That's a haunting thought with which I find hard to live.
Sadly, with the combination of MA and SSI, I think I actually come in slightly above poverty level--because most people living in poverty have no insurance at all.
Also, I live at home with my mom. When I finally won my fight for SSI, we had to go to the Social Security office and agree that I would pay my mom $200 a month in rent. She had to sign a paper saying that if I did not pay, she would evict me! (Um, where else was I going to live that I could afford not to mention have someone take care of me?) I pay my mom more than $200 in rent, but how much of a dent does it really make in maintaining this household? Not a whole heck of a lot.
It's hard to feel as if any of the money I spend or the things I have are really 'mine.' I feel like they are my parent's. I feel as if when I spend money I'm really spending their money to buy a gift for a friend or to buy that new pair of jeans I've been pining for. Should I be signing the gifts from them?
My Dad, Mom and Abbie never hold me accountable for every dollar I spend, but in many ways they know where every dollar goes. And they NEVER make me feel guilty--in fact Abbie has expressed sadness that I feel so much guilt (yes, I got a good stepmom). My Dad promises me I will be okay. My Mom promises me that when she had a child, she became a mom forever--and that includes taking care of me now even though it wasn't what any of us hoped for or expected. I love them for this generosity and sacrifice.
I'm scared of what will happen to me in the future. And I'm incredibly heartbroken for all of the folks who are not as fortunate as I am.
Who are we if we don't take care of our children, our sick, our elderly and our disabled?
I also say, BRAVO to the folks who are somehow finding a way to live off of what I am receiving and survive, because I don't know how to do it.
I carry this fear and this burden with me every day. I felt it was time to share my what is heavy on my heart. My parents tell me I will be okay, that I will always be taken care of, but somehow I have yet to take comfort in their loving words. I have their promise, but do I have the promise of America?
Blessings,
Emily
However, I also received a notice from the County Assistance Office letting me know that as of January 1, 2008 my food stamp allotment would be reduced from $40 a month to $34 a month. Just three months ago, in October of this year, my food stamps increased from $31 to $40 a month. Who can adequately sustain and nourish themselves on any of these amounts?
The reason for the DECREASE in the monthly allotment? As stated in the notice: "Your food stamp benefits will change based on the 2.3% Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) that you will receive in your Social Security benefits and/or your Supplemental Security Income in January 2008.
Let's take note of that 2.3% increase in Supplemental Security Income (SSI) that I receive. (Note: I receive SSI and Medical Assistance (not Medicare) because I became sick right out of college and did not 'pay into the system' long enough to receive SSDI benefits and Medicare).
In 2007, my monthly income from the Federal government was $623. That 2.3% raise amounts to a whopping $14 a month more in income, for a grand total of $637 starting January 1, 2008.
Now, my food stamps have been 'adjusted' based on this raise. Do the math. Now my monthly increase is $8. What will I ever do with all that extra money?
I also received $27.40 per month in 2007 from the State government. I have yet to receive notice of a change in that figure. Should be in the mail soon, surely filling me with holiday joy.
Okay, so I don't usually discuss money on my blog or very publicly. Even some of my close friends know very little about the actual expenses and financial binds disability creates.
I was so completely outraged tonight though, that I felt compelled to write, compelled to speak up. While I try not to discuss money and politics, I realized that not sharing this story would be hiding part of myself. I know that many of my friends and I disagree politically, so I try to be more neutral on my blog. I realized, however, that part of the reason I am blogging now is to be authentically me. So, I'm taking a risk and stepping out of my box. I'm not asking my friends to agree with me, I'm just voicing what I feel.
I have searched and searched for the famous quote that discusses that we must judge ourselves as a society not by our wealthiest members but by how we care for those most unable to care for themselves. The closest I have found is this:
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have little. --Franklin D. Roosevelt--
If you know the quote I'm looking for, let me know!
On a societal level, I believe that it is our responsibility as citizens of this world, as human beings to provide for those who cannot provide for themselves. We all deserve health care, affordable housing, food, and education to name a few!
Most of you know where I stand politically, but to me this isn't a political topic. It's simply what we as human beings owe each other.
On a personal level, the entire situation terrifies me. In my fights for Medical Assistance to pay for Lyrica and Ambien, I have discussed my frustration with health care (or lack thereof). But, I have not discussed the issue of SSI.
I live in absolute fear. Maybe I need to let go, trust in God, trust in humanity, but I'm always scared. Because I have SSI rather than SSDI, I cannot have ANY assets of my own. This means that if I try to save money it would need to be 'hidden' in another person's name. It means that if my parents die and leave me assets the government will immediately take away my MA/health care. (If you receive SSDI,on the other hand, you can have assets.)
I know that I am incredibly fortunate, but so many others are not. Still, I also know that just as I didn't get a 'free pass' in life from illness, I don't get a 'free pass' from poverty either. Every time I donate to Good Will, I know that it could be me who needs those goods. When we donate to the food bank, I know that it could be me who needs that food. I am not 'special' or 'chosen', I'm just simply lucky right now.
I also know that my parents are generous, self-sacrificing human beings who have worked so hard to provide for me and have done all that they can to ensure that if I am disabled and unable to work for the rest of my life, they have tried to prepare. They have tried to prepare by putting the money they have saved in a trust, which the government cannot take away.
A trust, however, means that I will NEVER have financial freedom. I am dependent on those in charge of the trust to dole out monthly payments to me. Even with a trust, the government can say that I have too many assets and take away my Medical Assistance. As a side note, I thankfully have the best of people taking care of me and they will never hurt me or take the money for themselves.
The thought that even with a trust I may not be protected terrifies me. No health care plan would cover me. And any money left to me would be quickly depleted by medical expenses.
We know for a fact that one of the top reasons people file for bankruptcy in this country is because they cannot pay their medical bills.
Maybe it's a waste of energy to be afraid of what will happen to me. Maybe it's not helping anyone that I feel tremendous guilt for what I do have.
All I know, is that while I live comfortably because I am fortunate to have a team of family members holding me up, I'm easily one step away from not being so fortunate. While I'm warm and toasty with a full belly and the best health care I can get, someone else is not. And that could be me. That's a haunting thought with which I find hard to live.
Sadly, with the combination of MA and SSI, I think I actually come in slightly above poverty level--because most people living in poverty have no insurance at all.
Also, I live at home with my mom. When I finally won my fight for SSI, we had to go to the Social Security office and agree that I would pay my mom $200 a month in rent. She had to sign a paper saying that if I did not pay, she would evict me! (Um, where else was I going to live that I could afford not to mention have someone take care of me?) I pay my mom more than $200 in rent, but how much of a dent does it really make in maintaining this household? Not a whole heck of a lot.
It's hard to feel as if any of the money I spend or the things I have are really 'mine.' I feel like they are my parent's. I feel as if when I spend money I'm really spending their money to buy a gift for a friend or to buy that new pair of jeans I've been pining for. Should I be signing the gifts from them?
My Dad, Mom and Abbie never hold me accountable for every dollar I spend, but in many ways they know where every dollar goes. And they NEVER make me feel guilty--in fact Abbie has expressed sadness that I feel so much guilt (yes, I got a good stepmom). My Dad promises me I will be okay. My Mom promises me that when she had a child, she became a mom forever--and that includes taking care of me now even though it wasn't what any of us hoped for or expected. I love them for this generosity and sacrifice.
I'm scared of what will happen to me in the future. And I'm incredibly heartbroken for all of the folks who are not as fortunate as I am.
Who are we if we don't take care of our children, our sick, our elderly and our disabled?
I also say, BRAVO to the folks who are somehow finding a way to live off of what I am receiving and survive, because I don't know how to do it.
I carry this fear and this burden with me every day. I felt it was time to share my what is heavy on my heart. My parents tell me I will be okay, that I will always be taken care of, but somehow I have yet to take comfort in their loving words. I have their promise, but do I have the promise of America?
Blessings,
Emily
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Thoughts on Writing: Ten Years of Blogging!
This week, NPR is 'celebrating' the 10th Anniversary of blogging with stories on the topic throughout the week.
Today, on Morning Edition the version of an 'audio blog' was both hilarious (I was laughing out loud!) and informative.
Here's the link:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17562078
It's worth a listen, I promise. As the week goes on I'll try to post links to the other stories if they are any bit as good as this one.
From this link you can also view related stories. I found the stats under "Learning to Embrace My Inner Blogger" fascinating.
Who blogs? Which sex blogs more? Which race? Which age group? I was actually surprised that more women than men blog (not sure why as it makes sense).
And WHY DO WE BLOG? The number one reason people cited as their reason for blogging: to express themselves creatively. A whopping 77% of folks said this. "To document, share personal experiences" came in next at 76%. "To stay in touch with friends, family" (59% of bloggers) was also a common reason folks blogged. From the list, these three most closely resembled why I blog.
The surveys were conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project.
Here's a short clip from the story, of which the third paragraph I found hysterical. I realized how lucky I was to have anyone other than myself and my parents reading my blog at all!
Morning Edition, December 24, 2007 · Ten years ago, the phrase "Web log" — which was then shortened to "blog" — was born.
In a week-long series, NPR takes a look at the evolution of the blogosphere and to find out who's blogging, examine the language and culture of blogs, and find out how blogs are changing our lives.
According to Sreenath Sreenivasan of Columbia Journalism School, there are more than 100 million blogs and 100,000 new blogs are created daily. However, he adds, most are read by only the writer and his mother.
And did you ever wonder how we got the term blog to begin with? Well, here it is. Corina, this is especially for you! And I really hope you can listen to that story all the way over there in the Netherlands.
Spring 1999: Online journal author Peter Merholz takes Jorn Barger's word "weblog" and splits it into the phrase "We blog." Blog soon becomes shorthand for weblog.
During the story, one of the bloggers mentions the year 1994--the year I started college--as a year when new websites could easily be condensed into a newsletter announcing their launch and the entire web could be perused in a couple of days if one wanted to. I felt old. And absolutely flabbergasted by how our world has changed in such a short time.
When I was in college we did our research the old-fashioned way--searching the stacks in the basement of the Davidson College library for journal articles. No 'virtual journals' existed then. I never 'instant messaged' with anyone until I discovered Gmail two years ago. At Davidson, our email was archaic at best, not to mention that in 1998 we were still sharing a dial-up connection that also served as our phone line amongst four people. My caregivers, all current college students, can't remember a life without email or instant messenging or high speed internet or doing their research via computer. Their eyes bug out when I mention sharing a phone line and internet connection with three other women. Oh, there were no cell phones then either they say? How did we do it? Suddenly I feel old at 32??
Now I find myself going through 'withdrawal' if I can't check my email or reach out through blogging or 'Google' whatever topic I'm currently interested in. In some respects, I'd like to give up some of the chaos of technology for the good old days, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like to part with my blog!
Happy Blogging to my fellow Bloggers. And to my Faithful Readers, Thank You,
Emily
Today, on Morning Edition the version of an 'audio blog' was both hilarious (I was laughing out loud!) and informative.
Here's the link:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17562078
It's worth a listen, I promise. As the week goes on I'll try to post links to the other stories if they are any bit as good as this one.
From this link you can also view related stories. I found the stats under "Learning to Embrace My Inner Blogger" fascinating.
Who blogs? Which sex blogs more? Which race? Which age group? I was actually surprised that more women than men blog (not sure why as it makes sense).
And WHY DO WE BLOG? The number one reason people cited as their reason for blogging: to express themselves creatively. A whopping 77% of folks said this. "To document, share personal experiences" came in next at 76%. "To stay in touch with friends, family" (59% of bloggers) was also a common reason folks blogged. From the list, these three most closely resembled why I blog.
The surveys were conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project.
Here's a short clip from the story, of which the third paragraph I found hysterical. I realized how lucky I was to have anyone other than myself and my parents reading my blog at all!
Morning Edition, December 24, 2007 · Ten years ago, the phrase "Web log" — which was then shortened to "blog" — was born.
In a week-long series, NPR takes a look at the evolution of the blogosphere and to find out who's blogging, examine the language and culture of blogs, and find out how blogs are changing our lives.
According to Sreenath Sreenivasan of Columbia Journalism School, there are more than 100 million blogs and 100,000 new blogs are created daily. However, he adds, most are read by only the writer and his mother.
And did you ever wonder how we got the term blog to begin with? Well, here it is. Corina, this is especially for you! And I really hope you can listen to that story all the way over there in the Netherlands.
Spring 1999: Online journal author Peter Merholz takes Jorn Barger's word "weblog" and splits it into the phrase "We blog." Blog soon becomes shorthand for weblog.
During the story, one of the bloggers mentions the year 1994--the year I started college--as a year when new websites could easily be condensed into a newsletter announcing their launch and the entire web could be perused in a couple of days if one wanted to. I felt old. And absolutely flabbergasted by how our world has changed in such a short time.
When I was in college we did our research the old-fashioned way--searching the stacks in the basement of the Davidson College library for journal articles. No 'virtual journals' existed then. I never 'instant messaged' with anyone until I discovered Gmail two years ago. At Davidson, our email was archaic at best, not to mention that in 1998 we were still sharing a dial-up connection that also served as our phone line amongst four people. My caregivers, all current college students, can't remember a life without email or instant messenging or high speed internet or doing their research via computer. Their eyes bug out when I mention sharing a phone line and internet connection with three other women. Oh, there were no cell phones then either they say? How did we do it? Suddenly I feel old at 32??
Now I find myself going through 'withdrawal' if I can't check my email or reach out through blogging or 'Google' whatever topic I'm currently interested in. In some respects, I'd like to give up some of the chaos of technology for the good old days, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like to part with my blog!
Happy Blogging to my fellow Bloggers. And to my Faithful Readers, Thank You,
Emily
Merry Christmas!
To all of my family and friends who celebrate the Christmas holiday...May you have blessed day.
May your spirit and the spirits of those around you be filled to the brim with Faith, Hope, Love, Joy and Light.
May those of you struggling this holiday season be blessed with a sense of comfort and peace.
This is my prayer for you.
And here is my dad singing "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" to me and Asher. As you can see Asher is not sure what to think! He just kept trying to lick my dad's face (He has 'lickitis' according to my dad).
I had just shown Dad part of an Oprah show with Josh Groban singing from his new CD, Noel. I do love Josh Groban! Anyways, Dad quite enjoyed the music and began trying to sing like Josh--not quite sure he's got it in him anymore, but we all had a good laugh (including Asher, I think). It was such a joyous moment and full of holiday spirit!
One of the things I love most about Dad is his playful spirit and goofy sense of humor. What he lacks in singing ability these days, he makes up for by hamming it up!
Blessings and Merry Christmas,
Emily
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Weekend Lyrics: Rock of Ages/Maoz Tzur
Rock of Ages
Performed by Marc Cohn
Arranged by M. Cohn and F. London
Rock of Ages let our song
Praise (your) saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes;
(You were) our sheltering tower
(Our sheltering tower).
Rock of Ages let our song
Praise Thy saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes;
(You were) our sheltering tower
(Our sheltering tower.)
Furious they assailed us,
But thine arm availed us,
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
And (your) word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
Children of the (Wanderers)
Whether free or fettered
Wake the echoes of the songs
Where ye may be scattered
Yours the message cheering
That the time is nearing
Which will see all men free
And tyrants disappearing
(Hope will see all men free,
And tyrants disappearing)
Why I chose these Lyrics: Every Hanukkah, I cannot wait to pull out my Hanukkah CDs. I love my 'Festival of Lights' CD and my Western Wind CD 'Chanukah in Story and Song'. Both CDs contain versions of the classic song 'Rock of Ages'. In Jewish tradition Hanukkah is a 'minor' holiday, and very few songs are traditionally associated with this holiday, with the exception of Rock of Ages. The version on my 'Festival of Lights' CD is performed by Marc Cohn (I mean, how can you go wrong with that??). I can listen to this song over and over and over again, year after year after year. I like Marc Cohn's modernized lyrics--a combination of both the original lyrics and his own lyrics.
I admit it: I LOVE Hanukkah. I look forward to this holiday of lights. As the gray days of winter are upon us, I delight in the lighting of the candles. I love to watch as we light each one. For me, Hanukkah is here to remind me of light in darkness--the darkness of winter, and on a deeper level my own dark night of the soul.
While Hanukkah began in a way that is difficult to find joyous or worthy of celebration, it ended with a miracle. It began as a war between the most powerful army in the world at that time--the Greeks--who attempted to get rid of the Jewish people and decimate the temple. Yet, somehow Judah and the Maccabees, a small army of priests, rose to defeat this great army.
Jews frown upon using war over peaceful words, so little is written in the ancient texts about Hanukkah and it remains a minor holiday without the rich traditions of other major Jewish holidays. The Rabbis of the time found themselves conflicted over the war against the Greeks. (That Hanukkah CD of mine is pretty good, eh? Look at all of the things I have learned!). Still, it was a miracle that the Jews defeated the Greeks at all.
As I listen to Rock of Ages, it reminds me each year how far we have to go to live in a peaceful world and how many people still are not free, especially to practice religious freedom. The words never grow old to me. I admit to wondering what to think and feel about the state of Israel. As a Jew we are expected, in many ways, to be pro-Israel at all costs. But how do I reconcile it with what I believe as a Jew and what the Rabbis so long ago felt about the war that later came to be celebrated as Hanukkah?
At Hanukkah, the focus becomes on what happened after the defeat of the Greek army. The temple was destroyed as was the precious and sacred oil used to light the menorah. Only one container of oil remained pure--enough for one day--yet it lasted for eight days.
And so, we have the story of Hanukkah, the miracle of Hanukkah, and the joyous side of Hanukkah. A light that was meant to burn for only one day burned for eight days. In honor of this we light candles for eight days and celebrate light in darkness.
Although Hanukkah, is of course, a Jewish holiday--it is universal in it's hope for peace, freedom, and of course, light in this world.
I actually began writing this entry on the 9Th of December and never finished it. It has been sitting ready to 'publish' but I never did publish it. I found myself unable to blog, unable even with the Hanukkah lights, to find my way out of my own dark night of the soul.
Hanukkah is over now. Christmas is almost here. In the end, while we are celebrating VERY different things at Christmas and Hanukkah both holidays are joyous occasions filled with hope, love, a desire for peace on earth, and ultimately, faith in God. Rock of Ages is a song well-known by Christians and Jews. I almost deleted the post entirely because I didn't get it done in time for Hannukah, but after some thought I saw that it was a song more universal in nature than I had realized.
Inside the CD jacket the following is written about Rock of Ages and its ecumenical nature:
Perhaps the quintessential and best known Hanukkah song, the original poem (a hymn of praise) was composed in the middle Ages. The poem was set to this melody in 19Th century Germany. As was their custom, German Jews used what was basically a Christian hymn melody. The commonly known English text is a translation of the German version of the original Hebrew (note: it originally could have been a mix of Hebrew and Aramaic). The message of the song--that faith in God will help us to conquer our foes, "overthrow tyrants" and lead us to a time when all people are free--is one that was picked up by other groups. "Rock of Ages" has become a favorite hymn amongst white and African-American Christian congregations.
Blessings to you this holiday and always,
Emily
Performed by Marc Cohn
Arranged by M. Cohn and F. London
Rock of Ages let our song
Praise (your) saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes;
(You were) our sheltering tower
(Our sheltering tower).
Rock of Ages let our song
Praise Thy saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes;
(You were) our sheltering tower
(Our sheltering tower.)
Furious they assailed us,
But thine arm availed us,
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
And (your) word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
Children of the (Wanderers)
Whether free or fettered
Wake the echoes of the songs
Where ye may be scattered
Yours the message cheering
That the time is nearing
Which will see all men free
And tyrants disappearing
(Hope will see all men free,
And tyrants disappearing)
Why I chose these Lyrics: Every Hanukkah, I cannot wait to pull out my Hanukkah CDs. I love my 'Festival of Lights' CD and my Western Wind CD 'Chanukah in Story and Song'. Both CDs contain versions of the classic song 'Rock of Ages'. In Jewish tradition Hanukkah is a 'minor' holiday, and very few songs are traditionally associated with this holiday, with the exception of Rock of Ages. The version on my 'Festival of Lights' CD is performed by Marc Cohn (I mean, how can you go wrong with that??). I can listen to this song over and over and over again, year after year after year. I like Marc Cohn's modernized lyrics--a combination of both the original lyrics and his own lyrics.
I admit it: I LOVE Hanukkah. I look forward to this holiday of lights. As the gray days of winter are upon us, I delight in the lighting of the candles. I love to watch as we light each one. For me, Hanukkah is here to remind me of light in darkness--the darkness of winter, and on a deeper level my own dark night of the soul.
While Hanukkah began in a way that is difficult to find joyous or worthy of celebration, it ended with a miracle. It began as a war between the most powerful army in the world at that time--the Greeks--who attempted to get rid of the Jewish people and decimate the temple. Yet, somehow Judah and the Maccabees, a small army of priests, rose to defeat this great army.
Jews frown upon using war over peaceful words, so little is written in the ancient texts about Hanukkah and it remains a minor holiday without the rich traditions of other major Jewish holidays. The Rabbis of the time found themselves conflicted over the war against the Greeks. (That Hanukkah CD of mine is pretty good, eh? Look at all of the things I have learned!). Still, it was a miracle that the Jews defeated the Greeks at all.
As I listen to Rock of Ages, it reminds me each year how far we have to go to live in a peaceful world and how many people still are not free, especially to practice religious freedom. The words never grow old to me. I admit to wondering what to think and feel about the state of Israel. As a Jew we are expected, in many ways, to be pro-Israel at all costs. But how do I reconcile it with what I believe as a Jew and what the Rabbis so long ago felt about the war that later came to be celebrated as Hanukkah?
At Hanukkah, the focus becomes on what happened after the defeat of the Greek army. The temple was destroyed as was the precious and sacred oil used to light the menorah. Only one container of oil remained pure--enough for one day--yet it lasted for eight days.
And so, we have the story of Hanukkah, the miracle of Hanukkah, and the joyous side of Hanukkah. A light that was meant to burn for only one day burned for eight days. In honor of this we light candles for eight days and celebrate light in darkness.
Although Hanukkah, is of course, a Jewish holiday--it is universal in it's hope for peace, freedom, and of course, light in this world.
I actually began writing this entry on the 9Th of December and never finished it. It has been sitting ready to 'publish' but I never did publish it. I found myself unable to blog, unable even with the Hanukkah lights, to find my way out of my own dark night of the soul.
Hanukkah is over now. Christmas is almost here. In the end, while we are celebrating VERY different things at Christmas and Hanukkah both holidays are joyous occasions filled with hope, love, a desire for peace on earth, and ultimately, faith in God. Rock of Ages is a song well-known by Christians and Jews. I almost deleted the post entirely because I didn't get it done in time for Hannukah, but after some thought I saw that it was a song more universal in nature than I had realized.
Inside the CD jacket the following is written about Rock of Ages and its ecumenical nature:
Perhaps the quintessential and best known Hanukkah song, the original poem (a hymn of praise) was composed in the middle Ages. The poem was set to this melody in 19Th century Germany. As was their custom, German Jews used what was basically a Christian hymn melody. The commonly known English text is a translation of the German version of the original Hebrew (note: it originally could have been a mix of Hebrew and Aramaic). The message of the song--that faith in God will help us to conquer our foes, "overthrow tyrants" and lead us to a time when all people are free--is one that was picked up by other groups. "Rock of Ages" has become a favorite hymn amongst white and African-American Christian congregations.
Blessings to you this holiday and always,
Emily
Happy Hannukah!!
To my friends and family who celebrate:
Happy Hannukah!!!
I hope you're having a holiday a filled with Light and Love.
Photo: Our Hannukah candles burning brightly
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
THANK YOU for all of your support!
All I can say is WOW. I'm overwhelmed. I really didn't know how folks would receive my Oprah email.
Would y'all think I was crazy? Self-indulgent? Or just goofy (which I am)? I also have a dog affectionately named Goofy Doofy by Anne, so I suppose he and I were meant to be a pair, eh? Or was Anne indirectly referring to me when she gave Asher that nickname? Hmmmmm....
Several folks have said that they would write letters to Oprah. So THANK YOU in advance for doing so. I can't believe my crazy excitement over this.
Anne was up way past her bedtime last night composing her letter--which I am sure will top anything I could ever write! :)
Anyways, I know many of you are very, very busy with the holiday season. A couple of folks asked me how long I thought the topic would be up on the Oprah site. I can't answer this question, because I've never followed this sort of thing before!
But, I would think that the snail mail addresses would be applicable for quite some time. If the links to the specific topics in my earlier blog no longer work, I would guess the topic is 'closed.' HOWEVER, you can still write to the Oprah show by going to www.Oprah.com and clicking the 'Be on the Show' link. You'll find various ways to share a story.
Nate Berkus has his own little 'spot' at the following link (you'll see a little box with his picture and you click on it to write to him): http://www2.oprah.com/tows/intheworks/tows_works_main.jhtml
So, while the exact topics may change, I would think it would still be possible to write considering I have already written in and you are just adding to a topic I wrote about.
They always just say "Send your story as soon as possible." But what is that??? Who knows!
A couple of folks also addressed the idea of the show Extreme Home Makeover. I appreciate the sentiments that I would be a good candidate for this show, but in reality we are not in that much need compared to those families who so need the help of that show. They deserve it and need it a hundred times more than I do.
I chose the Oprah show because it was a bit less, well 'extreme', and fit what I felt we needed and wanted. Not to mention the fact that I love Oprah. Or did I say that already? In an email with another DINET friend who just remodeled her home, she spoke of how much home mattered to her and what a difference it made in her happiness and ability to have the best life possible with her limitations.
I am so lucky to have what I already have. I don't 'need' this. I just really, really 'want' it I guess. I feel that having a more comfortable home for myself, my mom and visitors would enhance my quality of life.
Thank you for all of your support! I'm having way too much fun! :)
Blessings,
Emily
Would y'all think I was crazy? Self-indulgent? Or just goofy (which I am)? I also have a dog affectionately named Goofy Doofy by Anne, so I suppose he and I were meant to be a pair, eh? Or was Anne indirectly referring to me when she gave Asher that nickname? Hmmmmm....
Several folks have said that they would write letters to Oprah. So THANK YOU in advance for doing so. I can't believe my crazy excitement over this.
Anne was up way past her bedtime last night composing her letter--which I am sure will top anything I could ever write! :)
Anyways, I know many of you are very, very busy with the holiday season. A couple of folks asked me how long I thought the topic would be up on the Oprah site. I can't answer this question, because I've never followed this sort of thing before!
But, I would think that the snail mail addresses would be applicable for quite some time. If the links to the specific topics in my earlier blog no longer work, I would guess the topic is 'closed.' HOWEVER, you can still write to the Oprah show by going to www.Oprah.com and clicking the 'Be on the Show' link. You'll find various ways to share a story.
Nate Berkus has his own little 'spot' at the following link (you'll see a little box with his picture and you click on it to write to him): http://www2.oprah.com/tows/intheworks/tows_works_main.jhtml
So, while the exact topics may change, I would think it would still be possible to write considering I have already written in and you are just adding to a topic I wrote about.
They always just say "Send your story as soon as possible." But what is that??? Who knows!
A couple of folks also addressed the idea of the show Extreme Home Makeover. I appreciate the sentiments that I would be a good candidate for this show, but in reality we are not in that much need compared to those families who so need the help of that show. They deserve it and need it a hundred times more than I do.
I chose the Oprah show because it was a bit less, well 'extreme', and fit what I felt we needed and wanted. Not to mention the fact that I love Oprah. Or did I say that already? In an email with another DINET friend who just remodeled her home, she spoke of how much home mattered to her and what a difference it made in her happiness and ability to have the best life possible with her limitations.
I am so lucky to have what I already have. I don't 'need' this. I just really, really 'want' it I guess. I feel that having a more comfortable home for myself, my mom and visitors would enhance my quality of life.
Thank you for all of your support! I'm having way too much fun! :)
Blessings,
Emily
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Help Me Be on the Oprah Show!!
Okay, I really cannot believe I am doing this?! Those of you who know me well, know that I spend so much time on 'serious stuff' and the 'sick stuff'--I had so much fun escaping into this world of dreaming of a fantastically decorated home--especially my bedroom! It took me days to do this letter to Oprah, but I DID it even during my herx--which is still kicking me in the tooshie. Doing this was so 'out of my box.'
I did feel a bit selfish writing a letter for myself, rather than for someone else who might 'need' Nate to knock on their door more than Mom and I do--like Jeannine or Melissa. Perhaps that was part of the challenge?
I am not sure if I've ever really verbalized how trapped I feel at home sometimes and how unsettled our surroundings make me feel. EVERY DAY I wish I could just fix something or put up a piece of artwork or think about a new paint color for my room. I'm spending a lot of precious energy on this.
I just got back from physical therapy (for my bladder, no less!) and I was talking to Alicia, my PT, and she talked about how important it is to healing to reduce stress in your home, work life etc. I thought how perfect the timing was, seeing as I had just written to Oprah about creating a more tranquil home environment. We talked about how important it is to reduce stress as well as look at my illness from ALL perspectives and how each little piece of the puzzle can help. Stress is one of the big 'triggers' for both Lyme and Dysautonomia symptoms.
So, I am TOTALLY soliciting here. Another thing I try not to do on my blog. I'm hoping that ya'll will help me out, but I am also hoping that you will NOT feel pressured, because the entire purpose of my blog is to read what you want and don't read what you don't want to read.
The only person NOT exempt from writing to Oprah is you DAD!!!! Haha. This is because years ago, my dad got a call to be on the Oprah show and he turned it down and later said, "Who's Oprah?" What???? Who's Oprah??? Oh my. So, last year, when he was on Anderson Cooper for about 15 seconds (poor Dad they cut him off!) he said he had made up for turning Oprah down all those years ago. Well, as cute as Anderson Cooper is, he's still not Oprah!
Anyways, here's the way to help me get on the Oprah show. (It's almost Hannukah right?? Can I ask for this from Harry Hannukah?). You can either write by snail mail or by clicking on the links below. You never know, Oprah might just be contacting YOU! :) I am not sure how long the topics will be up, so it does need to be done as soon as possible.
Decorate with Nate (Main Topic Page):
http://www2.oprah.com/foodhome/home/decorating/home_nate_plugs.jhtml
Topic 1: Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=299700001
Mailing address:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Topic 2: Need Nate's Help with a Room or Home Makeover?
https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=299500001
Mailing Address:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Decorating Question for Nate
c/o Team CZ
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Recently, Celine Dion was on the Oprah show and a girl had posted fliers all over her college campus asking people to write to Oprah telling her how much this girl wanted to meet Celine. And she got on the show! So, I'm not going to be quite that bold, but I figure it can't hurt my chances.
I mean, y'all know you want to come stay in a house and the guest room that NATE has redecorated!!!
As many of you know, I love to watch the Oprah show. I love her mix of fun stuff with really great social issues and awareness. It's been my dream for a long time to actually be on her show and speak about chronic illness in young people, lyme disease, dysautonomia and all that jazz...but it's all still percolating in my head at this point. The decision to write to Nate and Oprah was more of a crazy, fun, spontaneous one.
Your note can be super short. And you can choose your 'angle' (i.e. Jeannine likes the 'pull at the heartstrings' angle about my illness and the struggles.) Or you can just focus on how happy this would make us in the midst of the illness stuff. Whatever! You all know me well enough to write what comes from your heart about the past 10 years of my life. I just figure the more people who write the merrier!
Here's a little 'starter' to help you get going (for those of you who get brain blocks on these sort of things, like my mom does!)
Dear Oprah and Nate:
My friend/niece/cousin/daughter/stepdaughter, etc, Emily [insert last name], wrote to you recently about having Nate Berkus give she and her mom a home makeover. I would like to ask you to do this for her because......
Thanks in advance for helping me out with this. I hope Nate knocks on my door and lets me live in a new healing environment.
Later alligators and many blessings!
Emily (who's feeling a bit koo koo la la today!)
P.S. If you write to Oprah, feel free to cut and paste and post it in the comment section so that others can see what's being written!
I did feel a bit selfish writing a letter for myself, rather than for someone else who might 'need' Nate to knock on their door more than Mom and I do--like Jeannine or Melissa. Perhaps that was part of the challenge?
I am not sure if I've ever really verbalized how trapped I feel at home sometimes and how unsettled our surroundings make me feel. EVERY DAY I wish I could just fix something or put up a piece of artwork or think about a new paint color for my room. I'm spending a lot of precious energy on this.
I just got back from physical therapy (for my bladder, no less!) and I was talking to Alicia, my PT, and she talked about how important it is to healing to reduce stress in your home, work life etc. I thought how perfect the timing was, seeing as I had just written to Oprah about creating a more tranquil home environment. We talked about how important it is to reduce stress as well as look at my illness from ALL perspectives and how each little piece of the puzzle can help. Stress is one of the big 'triggers' for both Lyme and Dysautonomia symptoms.
So, I am TOTALLY soliciting here. Another thing I try not to do on my blog. I'm hoping that ya'll will help me out, but I am also hoping that you will NOT feel pressured, because the entire purpose of my blog is to read what you want and don't read what you don't want to read.
The only person NOT exempt from writing to Oprah is you DAD!!!! Haha. This is because years ago, my dad got a call to be on the Oprah show and he turned it down and later said, "Who's Oprah?" What???? Who's Oprah??? Oh my. So, last year, when he was on Anderson Cooper for about 15 seconds (poor Dad they cut him off!) he said he had made up for turning Oprah down all those years ago. Well, as cute as Anderson Cooper is, he's still not Oprah!
Anyways, here's the way to help me get on the Oprah show. (It's almost Hannukah right?? Can I ask for this from Harry Hannukah?). You can either write by snail mail or by clicking on the links below. You never know, Oprah might just be contacting YOU! :) I am not sure how long the topics will be up, so it does need to be done as soon as possible.
Decorate with Nate (Main Topic Page):
http://www2.oprah.com/foodhome/home/decorating/home_nate_plugs.jhtml
Topic 1: Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=299700001
Mailing address:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Topic 2: Need Nate's Help with a Room or Home Makeover?
https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=299500001
Mailing Address:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Decorating Question for Nate
c/o Team CZ
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Recently, Celine Dion was on the Oprah show and a girl had posted fliers all over her college campus asking people to write to Oprah telling her how much this girl wanted to meet Celine. And she got on the show! So, I'm not going to be quite that bold, but I figure it can't hurt my chances.
I mean, y'all know you want to come stay in a house and the guest room that NATE has redecorated!!!
As many of you know, I love to watch the Oprah show. I love her mix of fun stuff with really great social issues and awareness. It's been my dream for a long time to actually be on her show and speak about chronic illness in young people, lyme disease, dysautonomia and all that jazz...but it's all still percolating in my head at this point. The decision to write to Nate and Oprah was more of a crazy, fun, spontaneous one.
Your note can be super short. And you can choose your 'angle' (i.e. Jeannine likes the 'pull at the heartstrings' angle about my illness and the struggles.) Or you can just focus on how happy this would make us in the midst of the illness stuff. Whatever! You all know me well enough to write what comes from your heart about the past 10 years of my life. I just figure the more people who write the merrier!
Here's a little 'starter' to help you get going (for those of you who get brain blocks on these sort of things, like my mom does!)
Dear Oprah and Nate:
My friend/niece/cousin/daughter/stepdaughter, etc, Emily [insert last name], wrote to you recently about having Nate Berkus give she and her mom a home makeover. I would like to ask you to do this for her because......
Thanks in advance for helping me out with this. I hope Nate knocks on my door and lets me live in a new healing environment.
Later alligators and many blessings!
Emily (who's feeling a bit koo koo la la today!)
P.S. If you write to Oprah, feel free to cut and paste and post it in the comment section so that others can see what's being written!
More About Oprah! :)
Here are the topics I replied to on the Oprah website. Okay, so I couldn't quite decide which topic we fit best. I already got an email back saying "Oprah.com has received your email."! Yippee. Yes, I've lost my mind, but you already knew that about me and still love me! Haha. I still can't quite believe I did this, as I've never done something like this before!!! I'm pooped from writing my letter, but will post more soon!!! :) For you non-Oprah folks, Nate is the cutie guy who does super cool home makeovers for the Oprah show.
Topic 1:
Do You Know Someone Deserving of The Ultimate Home Makeover by Nate? Is their current home falling apart or virtually uninhabitable? Has this family suffered some sort of heartbreak or setback in life and you believe a total home makeover would make a world of difference? Are they people who give and give and ask for nothing in return? Have they opened their hearts to others and now it's time for them to receive? Please tell us why Nate should transform this family's house or your house into a dream home. Describe the condition of the house and tell us how the family's needs are not being met by their current home. Are there too many people and not enough square feet? Does someone in thee family have a disability and in need of better access in and around the home? Have they started a project and not finished? Are there major repairs needed, but no money to fix them? Is the home in such bad shape, it's dangerous? Is this family about to lose their home? Send us a photo of yourself and the family you are nominating today. Be sure to include LOTS of pictures of the house you would like to see Nate transform. All photos and a copy of your letter should be sent as soon as possible to the address below:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Topic 2:
Need Nate's Help With A Room or Home Makeover?
Need Nate's Help With A Room or Home Makeover? Do you have a burning decorating question for Nate? Does your house look like a decorating disaster zone? Are you clueless about color? Don't have the faintest idea about furniture? Is your bedroom a total bore? Does your couch clash with your curtains? Is your kitchen stuck somewhere in the past? Or are you still walking around on that shag carpeting you've had since the 70's? Do you hate to have friends over because you're embarrassed for people to see how you've decorated? Is your house stuck in a time-warp and you need help bringing it up-to-date? (Avocado-colored appliances, anyone??) Do you dream of having a home - or just one room - with style, comfort and pizzazz? If you - or someone you know - is in desperate need of a visit from our designer Nate Berkus, the Oprah show wants to know! Please respond to this internet question AND please send us a photo of YOURSELF and of your home or room and a letter telling us why YOU NEED NATE, and all your contact information to:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Decorating Question for Nate
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Topic 1:
Do You Know Someone Deserving of The Ultimate Home Makeover by Nate? Is their current home falling apart or virtually uninhabitable? Has this family suffered some sort of heartbreak or setback in life and you believe a total home makeover would make a world of difference? Are they people who give and give and ask for nothing in return? Have they opened their hearts to others and now it's time for them to receive? Please tell us why Nate should transform this family's house or your house into a dream home. Describe the condition of the house and tell us how the family's needs are not being met by their current home. Are there too many people and not enough square feet? Does someone in thee family have a disability and in need of better access in and around the home? Have they started a project and not finished? Are there major repairs needed, but no money to fix them? Is the home in such bad shape, it's dangerous? Is this family about to lose their home? Send us a photo of yourself and the family you are nominating today. Be sure to include LOTS of pictures of the house you would like to see Nate transform. All photos and a copy of your letter should be sent as soon as possible to the address below:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Nate's Ultimate Home Makeover
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
Topic 2:
Need Nate's Help With A Room or Home Makeover?
Need Nate's Help With A Room or Home Makeover? Do you have a burning decorating question for Nate? Does your house look like a decorating disaster zone? Are you clueless about color? Don't have the faintest idea about furniture? Is your bedroom a total bore? Does your couch clash with your curtains? Is your kitchen stuck somewhere in the past? Or are you still walking around on that shag carpeting you've had since the 70's? Do you hate to have friends over because you're embarrassed for people to see how you've decorated? Is your house stuck in a time-warp and you need help bringing it up-to-date? (Avocado-colored appliances, anyone??) Do you dream of having a home - or just one room - with style, comfort and pizzazz? If you - or someone you know - is in desperate need of a visit from our designer Nate Berkus, the Oprah show wants to know! Please respond to this internet question AND please send us a photo of YOURSELF and of your home or room and a letter telling us why YOU NEED NATE, and all your contact information to:
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Decorating Question for Nate
c/o Team JS
110 N. Carpenter St.
Chicago, IL 60607
I Wrote to Oprah! I Can't Believe I Did This!!!
Dear Nate and Oprah,
Knock, Knock Nate! Are you up for a challenge?
Mom and I are longing for a home that feels like a sanctuary for both of us—a place that blends what we both love, expresses our deep love for each other, and provides a place of peace, comfort and respite.
After college graduation, I became chronically ill with a ‘mystery’ illness. For the past nine and a half years I have been living at home with my mom. With her being my primary caregiver and me being sick, we have little time or energy to put into creating a home that we love. We find ourselves overwhelmed by the task. Dealing with the medical issues at hand, the care giving, my inability to help out with shopping or home projects, etc. leaves little time for us to work on creating what we need so much—a home that provides us with a place of rest and comfort.
I spend 24 hours a day, every day at home, leaving only for outings to the doctor. I would like to have a place that: encourages healing of body, mind and spirit, provides peace and sanctuary in illness, and provides a warm welcome for friends and family who go out of their way to travel long distances to spend time with us. I want my friends and family to love our sanctuary so much they keep coming back for more! Because I am at home ALL of the time, I somehow need to find a way to ‘go on vacation in my own home.’ Is this possible?
I realize, of course, that having a home we love cannot cure me or take away the stresses of care giving. But I DO know that it can help us feel more peace and comfort--that having a home we love is a tangible thing in the intangible world of illness and healing. Having our own sanctuaries as well as a place for visitors would create a better environment for both of us. I long to have home that fills us up rather than sapping us of our limited energy. And I know my mom wishes for this too.
We are challenged as two adults with two very different styles of decorating and living to create a space that we both love and agree upon. We have lived in this house since I was nine months old! Now, we need to create a space for two adults. Often, I find that our differing styles, lack of ‘separate spaces’ and room set aside for visitors adds unneeded tension to our household. I don’t want to spend this extra energy on feeling overwhelmed or disagreeing on things anymore.
We have been able to start work on many rooms, but never finished them; they remain without the accessories, art, pillows, rugs, and photos to complete the room. For example, four years ago we were able to have our living room painted and buy furniture (and rid ourselves of the 1970s wallpaper!) but we still have not been able to bring the room together. We love the color and the furniture in ‘my den’, but it currently doubles as a guest room and has little functionality for my needs.
Both of us really need bedrooms to retreat to. I’m ready for ‘grown up furniture’ rather than the furniture I got when I was in first grade. And, I’m ready for a room that reflects who I am now. I spend 18 or more hours a day in my bedroom. I often just lie and stare at the white ceiling and the lavender walls, dreaming of ways to make this space restful and healing again. Mostly, I associate this room with the worst times in my illness. I spend many hours of the day ‘being’, rather than ‘doing’ (since I am not able to ‘do’ much!), so I’d like to feel a lot more ‘Zen’ in my room! Nate, if you can only help with one room in our entire house, please help me with my bedroom. I need a sanctuary for healing.
Watching the wear and tear of care giving on my mom breaks my heart. Plus, she just retired (largely because of the demands of caring for me) and ended up needing rotator cuff surgery! So, she’s down for the count in the lifting department for a while. She always puts others first, so her room is the most unfinished room in the house. I want her so much to have a place that she loves to go to and can relax and get a good nights’ sleep!
Lastly, we need a great space for visitors! The love of friends and family is what sustains me each day.
We have more than enough space for two people in this house—it’s just finding a way to best utilize the space and to create spaces we love and function for our needs. You’ll notice we have a LOT of recliners because I spend most of my time reclining or lying flat.
I know that I want spaces that reflect the following:
1. Love is in abundance here at the ‘[last name removed for privacy purposes on blog] B and B’ (“We Are All Welcome Here” –Elizabeth Berg—)
2. Hope abides here (“Hope is the thing that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops at all” –Emily Dickinson--)
3. My spirit dances even though my body cannot (“Dance is the hidden language of the soul” –Martha Graham--)
My mom is simpler in her request for our home: Peaceful, restful, comfortable, tranquil. I couldn’t agree more with her choices!
For the first time in all these years of being sick we find that my doctors may have found the cause of my illness, but the treatment is, to say the least, extremely unpleasant. Even with the blessing of the best doctors in the country fighting their hardest to solve my medical ‘puzzle’ the world of medicine and mystery illnesses is intangible. We do know that I have a severe and disabling form of Autonomic Nervous System Dysfunction/Dysautonomia, and are currently treating me as if it could be caused by chronic Lyme Disease.
This means that on a daily basis I deal with debilitating symptoms of extreme fatigue and pain, an inability to regulate all of the ‘automatic’ systems of the body such as heart rate and blood pressure, as well as many, many more symptoms including difficulty with sleep and concentration. Most of my energy goes towards the most basic activities of daily living. On a good day, I use my precious energy to talk to a friend or have a visitor over for a couple of hours (I will give anything to be with those I love even though I crash with exhaustion afterwards), spend time writing/blogging, listen to books on tape (as I can no longer read), cuddle with my pooch, or listen to music. In my pictures, taken on a ‘good day’, a few strokes of blush make me look fairly ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’, but those who know me quickly see the color in my face fade to ashen and my energy level deteriorate. For the most part this is an ‘invisible’ illness to an outsider. I honestly cannot remember what it feels like to feel ‘good’ or ‘alive’ in my own body. This means that we do need a home that accommodates my disability.
Obviously, I desire abundance in health and love more than anything in the world. A home can’t cure me. I do believe it can facilitate healing for both mom and me. Even without a healthy body, I work hard to find and create contentment, love, peace, and healing in all aspects of my life. A home, in which I spend every hour of my days, can have such power. I think Oprah and Nate have the power to give us a fantastically magical home—a tangible in our world of intangibles and uncertainties. While I wait patiently for healing, I seek some tangible sources of peace, tranquility, comfort and contentment. I think that Oprah and Nate can do this magically and fantastically for my mom and me!
“Many people think of home as a place to stay…it is more than that. Home is a place to be…a place where we can most truly be ourselves.” –Anonymous--
We both know that if our home felt more like, well OUR HOME, we would be overjoyed!
Waiting for your knock,
Emily (and Woof! Woof! From Asher)
P.S. Beware Nate! I’ve seen your dogs on the Oprah show and I can tell you that our Asher Noam is JUST like your pooches—a barker and a jumper (just in case you ‘happen’ to show up on our doorstep!)
P.P.S. Since I hear you can’t even boil water, my mom will surely cook you a wonderful meal as she is a marvelous cook.
Knock, Knock Nate! Are you up for a challenge?
Mom and I are longing for a home that feels like a sanctuary for both of us—a place that blends what we both love, expresses our deep love for each other, and provides a place of peace, comfort and respite.
After college graduation, I became chronically ill with a ‘mystery’ illness. For the past nine and a half years I have been living at home with my mom. With her being my primary caregiver and me being sick, we have little time or energy to put into creating a home that we love. We find ourselves overwhelmed by the task. Dealing with the medical issues at hand, the care giving, my inability to help out with shopping or home projects, etc. leaves little time for us to work on creating what we need so much—a home that provides us with a place of rest and comfort.
I spend 24 hours a day, every day at home, leaving only for outings to the doctor. I would like to have a place that: encourages healing of body, mind and spirit, provides peace and sanctuary in illness, and provides a warm welcome for friends and family who go out of their way to travel long distances to spend time with us. I want my friends and family to love our sanctuary so much they keep coming back for more! Because I am at home ALL of the time, I somehow need to find a way to ‘go on vacation in my own home.’ Is this possible?
I realize, of course, that having a home we love cannot cure me or take away the stresses of care giving. But I DO know that it can help us feel more peace and comfort--that having a home we love is a tangible thing in the intangible world of illness and healing. Having our own sanctuaries as well as a place for visitors would create a better environment for both of us. I long to have home that fills us up rather than sapping us of our limited energy. And I know my mom wishes for this too.
We are challenged as two adults with two very different styles of decorating and living to create a space that we both love and agree upon. We have lived in this house since I was nine months old! Now, we need to create a space for two adults. Often, I find that our differing styles, lack of ‘separate spaces’ and room set aside for visitors adds unneeded tension to our household. I don’t want to spend this extra energy on feeling overwhelmed or disagreeing on things anymore.
We have been able to start work on many rooms, but never finished them; they remain without the accessories, art, pillows, rugs, and photos to complete the room. For example, four years ago we were able to have our living room painted and buy furniture (and rid ourselves of the 1970s wallpaper!) but we still have not been able to bring the room together. We love the color and the furniture in ‘my den’, but it currently doubles as a guest room and has little functionality for my needs.
Both of us really need bedrooms to retreat to. I’m ready for ‘grown up furniture’ rather than the furniture I got when I was in first grade. And, I’m ready for a room that reflects who I am now. I spend 18 or more hours a day in my bedroom. I often just lie and stare at the white ceiling and the lavender walls, dreaming of ways to make this space restful and healing again. Mostly, I associate this room with the worst times in my illness. I spend many hours of the day ‘being’, rather than ‘doing’ (since I am not able to ‘do’ much!), so I’d like to feel a lot more ‘Zen’ in my room! Nate, if you can only help with one room in our entire house, please help me with my bedroom. I need a sanctuary for healing.
Watching the wear and tear of care giving on my mom breaks my heart. Plus, she just retired (largely because of the demands of caring for me) and ended up needing rotator cuff surgery! So, she’s down for the count in the lifting department for a while. She always puts others first, so her room is the most unfinished room in the house. I want her so much to have a place that she loves to go to and can relax and get a good nights’ sleep!
Lastly, we need a great space for visitors! The love of friends and family is what sustains me each day.
We have more than enough space for two people in this house—it’s just finding a way to best utilize the space and to create spaces we love and function for our needs. You’ll notice we have a LOT of recliners because I spend most of my time reclining or lying flat.
I know that I want spaces that reflect the following:
1. Love is in abundance here at the ‘[last name removed for privacy purposes on blog] B and B’ (“We Are All Welcome Here” –Elizabeth Berg—)
2. Hope abides here (“Hope is the thing that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops at all” –Emily Dickinson--)
3. My spirit dances even though my body cannot (“Dance is the hidden language of the soul” –Martha Graham--)
My mom is simpler in her request for our home: Peaceful, restful, comfortable, tranquil. I couldn’t agree more with her choices!
For the first time in all these years of being sick we find that my doctors may have found the cause of my illness, but the treatment is, to say the least, extremely unpleasant. Even with the blessing of the best doctors in the country fighting their hardest to solve my medical ‘puzzle’ the world of medicine and mystery illnesses is intangible. We do know that I have a severe and disabling form of Autonomic Nervous System Dysfunction/Dysautonomia, and are currently treating me as if it could be caused by chronic Lyme Disease.
This means that on a daily basis I deal with debilitating symptoms of extreme fatigue and pain, an inability to regulate all of the ‘automatic’ systems of the body such as heart rate and blood pressure, as well as many, many more symptoms including difficulty with sleep and concentration. Most of my energy goes towards the most basic activities of daily living. On a good day, I use my precious energy to talk to a friend or have a visitor over for a couple of hours (I will give anything to be with those I love even though I crash with exhaustion afterwards), spend time writing/blogging, listen to books on tape (as I can no longer read), cuddle with my pooch, or listen to music. In my pictures, taken on a ‘good day’, a few strokes of blush make me look fairly ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’, but those who know me quickly see the color in my face fade to ashen and my energy level deteriorate. For the most part this is an ‘invisible’ illness to an outsider. I honestly cannot remember what it feels like to feel ‘good’ or ‘alive’ in my own body. This means that we do need a home that accommodates my disability.
Obviously, I desire abundance in health and love more than anything in the world. A home can’t cure me. I do believe it can facilitate healing for both mom and me. Even without a healthy body, I work hard to find and create contentment, love, peace, and healing in all aspects of my life. A home, in which I spend every hour of my days, can have such power. I think Oprah and Nate have the power to give us a fantastically magical home—a tangible in our world of intangibles and uncertainties. While I wait patiently for healing, I seek some tangible sources of peace, tranquility, comfort and contentment. I think that Oprah and Nate can do this magically and fantastically for my mom and me!
“Many people think of home as a place to stay…it is more than that. Home is a place to be…a place where we can most truly be ourselves.” –Anonymous--
We both know that if our home felt more like, well OUR HOME, we would be overjoyed!
Waiting for your knock,
Emily (and Woof! Woof! From Asher)
P.S. Beware Nate! I’ve seen your dogs on the Oprah show and I can tell you that our Asher Noam is JUST like your pooches—a barker and a jumper (just in case you ‘happen’ to show up on our doorstep!)
P.P.S. Since I hear you can’t even boil water, my mom will surely cook you a wonderful meal as she is a marvelous cook.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The Simple Joys: A Romp in the Neighbor's Yard
On Sunday, we had a cold, but sunny day. Our neighbors (Anne, Scott, Alexandra, and Hunter) have a fenced in yard and have invited us to come over any time to use their yard and run Asher. Asher LOVES to go over to their house. Not only does he love them, but he loves the freedom of running in their yard without being hooked to the tie-out at our house. Anne and company were out of town for Thanksgiving, but we took advantage of using their yard on such a beautiful day. Asher wasn't sure what to think, as he kept running up to their front door looking for them (and perhaps looking for that signature bowl of water they always bring to him). He pulled the whole way to their house and was soooo excited to run.
For me, it was so healing. I have been herxing so badly and have been feeling that this herx would never end. It's still kicking my butt and I'm frustrated. I'm tired and cranky and sick of feeling like CRAP (and CRAP in this case does not stand for Anne's delicious CRanberry APplesauce). But, I'm at least getting back to blogging a bit and I got outside in the sunshine. This blog isn't all about Asher--the joyfullness in him and his freedom to run in their yard is how I felt being with him and being able to get out of the house. He's so healing for me (when he's behaving that is!) and he motivates me to get outside even if just to walk to the mailbox or throw the ring for a few minutes on the days that I am able.
Oh, to find such joy in the simple things. He has so many 'outside toys' to choose from, but he only likes his tennis ball ring. :) I tried taking a little video and downloading it onto the blog, so we'll see if it works. By the time I thought to take the video Asher was getting pretty pooped out!
Erika, these pictures are especially for you. ((((HUGS)))).
Blessings,
Emily
For me, it was so healing. I have been herxing so badly and have been feeling that this herx would never end. It's still kicking my butt and I'm frustrated. I'm tired and cranky and sick of feeling like CRAP (and CRAP in this case does not stand for Anne's delicious CRanberry APplesauce). But, I'm at least getting back to blogging a bit and I got outside in the sunshine. This blog isn't all about Asher--the joyfullness in him and his freedom to run in their yard is how I felt being with him and being able to get out of the house. He's so healing for me (when he's behaving that is!) and he motivates me to get outside even if just to walk to the mailbox or throw the ring for a few minutes on the days that I am able.
Oh, to find such joy in the simple things. He has so many 'outside toys' to choose from, but he only likes his tennis ball ring. :) I tried taking a little video and downloading it onto the blog, so we'll see if it works. By the time I thought to take the video Asher was getting pretty pooped out!
Erika, these pictures are especially for you. ((((HUGS)))).
Blessings,
Emily
I'm ready! Throw me the ring will you?
Here I come!
This is my favorite toy EVER. And I NEVER tire of it.
(I don't care if it's falling apart.)
Aahhh, the freedom to run and the feel of the wind in my hair!
Thank you for the sunshine and this wonderful yard.
All tired out. Time to head home for a nap--a nap for me and a nap for Emily!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Weekend Lyrics: Turkey Trot Blues
Turkey Trot Blues
Gobble
Gobble, Gobble
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble with a Wobble
Turkey Trot, Trot, Trot
Across the Lot, Lot, Lot
Feeling Fine, Fine, Fine
Until Thanksgiving Time
Trouble
Trouble, Trouble
Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, Trouble on the Double
Why I chose these lyrics: I knew I wanted to choose a song for Thanksgiving. Then, lo and behold on NPR I heard a story entitled Thanksgiving Music Gets its Due. My friend Marla had just emailed after Halloween, "Why oh why do we skip right over Thanksgiving and go right to Christmas?" So, when I heard this story, I knew I had to have a Weekend Lyrics dedicated just to Thanksgiving songs!
Marla is right of course. Thanksgiving is such a wonderful holiday: all religions celebrate it, it doesn't involve the pressure of gift-giving and receiving. How many holidays (or how many times a year for that matter) do we simply take time to rest in gratitude and spend time with those we love?
The Christmas music has already started. Oh how I dread this time of year! I thought, "Well at least I can avoid it by listening to NPR--but it's even invaded their airwaves. Oh Good Grief!
Allyson Ledoux, the 2006 Vermont educator of the year, shared several Thanksgiving songs all worthy of 'Weekend Lyrics', but I chose the Turkey Trot Blues because, well, quite simply the song is hilarious! I really needed the humor this week. The song cracks me up every time, and now those of you with kids will NEVER get them to stop singing it if you listen to it on NPR and teach your kiddos. I've been singing it all day!
On a more serious note, Ledoux also chose the gorgeous melody "Come Ye Thankful People Come" as well as "Over the River and Through the Woods." She mentioned that many folks debate the latter: is it a Christmas song or a Thanksgiving song? Ledoux insists that it is a Thanksgiving song. If you've watched "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" a time or two, you may remember all of the Peanuts gang piling into the car to head to Thanksgiving dinner and singing just this song. "Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go..." they joyfully sing. The Peanuts gang tries making they're own Thanksgiving dinner (Chef Snoopy on hand) of toast and popcorn and pretzels and everything NOT Thanksgiving. Then, they pile into the car with invisible 'parental units' to head to a 'real' Thanksgiving dinner.
If anything the Turkey Trot Blues ought to give you a chuckle. And I bet it's one you haven't heard before. The other songs, well, you've heard them, and may just find yourself humming them for a few more days before you are ready to take all that Christmas music.
To hear Annie Ledoux sing each of these songs and discuss Thanksgiving songs, go to www.npr.org and search for "Thanksgiving Music Gets its Due" or go directly to the link to listen to the story at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16404393.
The NPR story ended with the following thought:
Gobble
Gobble, Gobble
Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble with a Wobble
Turkey Trot, Trot, Trot
Across the Lot, Lot, Lot
Feeling Fine, Fine, Fine
Until Thanksgiving Time
Trouble
Trouble, Trouble
Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, Trouble on the Double
Why I chose these lyrics: I knew I wanted to choose a song for Thanksgiving. Then, lo and behold on NPR I heard a story entitled Thanksgiving Music Gets its Due. My friend Marla had just emailed after Halloween, "Why oh why do we skip right over Thanksgiving and go right to Christmas?" So, when I heard this story, I knew I had to have a Weekend Lyrics dedicated just to Thanksgiving songs!
Marla is right of course. Thanksgiving is such a wonderful holiday: all religions celebrate it, it doesn't involve the pressure of gift-giving and receiving. How many holidays (or how many times a year for that matter) do we simply take time to rest in gratitude and spend time with those we love?
The Christmas music has already started. Oh how I dread this time of year! I thought, "Well at least I can avoid it by listening to NPR--but it's even invaded their airwaves. Oh Good Grief!
Allyson Ledoux, the 2006 Vermont educator of the year, shared several Thanksgiving songs all worthy of 'Weekend Lyrics', but I chose the Turkey Trot Blues because, well, quite simply the song is hilarious! I really needed the humor this week. The song cracks me up every time, and now those of you with kids will NEVER get them to stop singing it if you listen to it on NPR and teach your kiddos. I've been singing it all day!
On a more serious note, Ledoux also chose the gorgeous melody "Come Ye Thankful People Come" as well as "Over the River and Through the Woods." She mentioned that many folks debate the latter: is it a Christmas song or a Thanksgiving song? Ledoux insists that it is a Thanksgiving song. If you've watched "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" a time or two, you may remember all of the Peanuts gang piling into the car to head to Thanksgiving dinner and singing just this song. "Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go..." they joyfully sing. The Peanuts gang tries making they're own Thanksgiving dinner (Chef Snoopy on hand) of toast and popcorn and pretzels and everything NOT Thanksgiving. Then, they pile into the car with invisible 'parental units' to head to a 'real' Thanksgiving dinner.
If anything the Turkey Trot Blues ought to give you a chuckle. And I bet it's one you haven't heard before. The other songs, well, you've heard them, and may just find yourself humming them for a few more days before you are ready to take all that Christmas music.
To hear Annie Ledoux sing each of these songs and discuss Thanksgiving songs, go to www.npr.org and search for "Thanksgiving Music Gets its Due" or go directly to the link to listen to the story at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16404393.
The NPR story ended with the following thought:
"Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness, universal to all ages and all faiths. At whatever straws we must grasp, there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings."
--J. Robert Moskin, American Writer--
Hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving,
Emily
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
"Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance."
--J. Petit-Senn--
"Joy is the simplest form of gratitude." --Karl Barth--
"...the thankful heart...will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings."
--Henry Ward Beecher--
Okay, I admit it, I LOVE the cartoon Mutts. As most of you know, reading is incredibly difficult for me, but Mom often clips or marks interesting or important things for me to read from the newspaper. Sometimes Mutts falls into the 'important' category! This week Patrick McDonnell, author of the Mutts cartoon, shared these quotes. The first quote was Mooch's Thanksgiving thought, the second was Earl's, and the third was Woofie's. Of course, Mooch is playing with his 'little pink sock' while thinking about abundance! Wonder if Asher ever has such deep and profound thoughts on life? Haha!
I thought the quotes perfectly summed up Thanksgiving.
Recently, after my birthday, I remarked to Jeannine that I often felt overwhelmed and humbled by the abundance in my life. Awestruck, Jeannine just said, "Yeah, I'm not sure if I could do that in your situation." She then told me the story of another close friend of hers who said, "I have suffered so much in my life, that the joys are so much sweeter." I said, "Yes, that is so true."
Some days it is much, much harder to hold on to these feelings. And I don't always do the best at it. Sometimes (okay, often) I want so much more than this life has given me. Still, I am always able to find 5 things to write in my 'grateful journal'. Today is a good reminder to keep trying to see the abundance and the blessings and to keep being thankful for what I do have.
Blessings to you and Happy Thanksgiving!
Emily
Photos: Mums by the mailbox
Sunday, November 11, 2007
"Crazy Uncle" Visits!
Here it is Uncle Stan! I am sorry it has taken me so long to get this post up. Oh, and by the way, YOU told me to title my post "Crazy Uncle"!
As you can tell, I really like visitors! And, I'm a bit behind on blogging about them--so I figured I'd better get on it and finish blogging about this year's visitors before the holidays and a new year arrive!
Uncle Stan came to visit August 6Th through the 8Th. Diane and Michael were actually also supposed to visit then too (because he was staying with them for part of the week also), but I wasn't up for that many visitors at the time due to another one of my med disasters (this time around it was the neurontin).
I had not seen Uncle Stan for five years, so I was very excited to see him. It was different too, because without Aunti Vicki here it was the first time I had really spent any one on one time with my Uncle in my whole life. Sadly, I haven't spent as much time with my mom's side of the family over the years as I wish I would have. And now, I can't...so that makes me sad. I missed being able to visit Vicki before she died, going to her funeral, and going to my cousin Stephen's wedding. Obviously, we can't make up for lost time but I've enjoyed getting to know my family better.
My mom's side of the family consists of her brother, Stan and his two children Stephen and Dana (both of whom are each at least 8 years older than I am). Stan is 13 years my mom's senior. So, he really, really, really likes to pick on his 'little sister' even after all of these years. I like to pick on them both because they are becoming more and more like my grandmother every year (that means curmudgeon for you Uncle Stan, and you know it!). They are even starting to look like her! Oh, did I have fun teasing them. I suppose it will all come back to bite me one of these days when I realize I look just like her too? I hope I don't turn into a grumpy old lady though like she did! Oh my!
The rest of our family includes Vicki and my grandma--who died just one year apart from each other, Stephen's wife Beth (whom I haven't even met yet!), and Diane and Michael. This is much easier to keep track of than my Dad's side, which I think includes over 140 members if you include aunts, uncles, cousins, my cousins' kiddos and everyone's spouses! We don't require a family newsletter on my mom's side!
I've been noodging Uncle Stan to come for a visit for a while now, so I suppose he finally caved in. I kept saying, "So, when are you going to come for a visit?" I can be a bit of a pain sometimes (okay, there I am turning into Grandma Helen).
Right before his visit he fell and broke his wrist and almost didn't make it here! (I don't know what it is with this side of the family injuring themselves). We had a very quiet, relaxing visit in which I felt for the first time that I really got to know my uncle better. He isn't much for talking on the phone.
"Uncle" as he calls himself (he doesn't sign his name, just "uncle"), brought me four new CDs (ah, yes, the way to my heart)--Lee Konitz, Stan Getz, Joshua Redman, and Brad Meldhau. I used to play saxophone, so he bought the first three as an education in saxophonists and the progression of jazz over the years. All of the CDs are mellow--as I don't care for the 'heavier' stuff in jazz. Brad Meldhau is one of Uncle Stan's favorite jazz pianists, so he threw that one in for a bonus! I have really enjoyed all four of the CDs, and especially enjoyed the fact that Uncle Stan taught me so much about the artists and why he chose each of the CDs. That is what makes music so special to me--sharing it with others and learning about it from others.
It is now Monday the 26Th of November, and I started this entry over two weeks ago. When I started it on Sunday, I did not realized that I was typing all about Uncle Stan and he was in the ER the whole time. I was hoping to get this done in time for his homecoming from the hospital. I didn't, and now he is back in the hospital AGAIN and the doctors cannot figure out what is going on. They're just shaking their heads in bewilderment. I told him one mystery illness in the family was enough. I can hear Grandma Helen saying "Knock it off already, will you?" Haha!
Anyways, I hope that he will get to see this blog soon and that when he does, he'll be feeling back to his old self again--back to doing the things he loves (and of course full of himself too!).
Lots of love to you from across the miles "Crazy Uncle"--you WILL be crazy if you are in that hospital much longer, eh?
Lots of love to you from across the miles "Crazy Uncle"--you WILL be crazy if you are in that hospital much longer, eh?
Blessings,
Emily
Photos: Sister Renee and Brother Stan. Do you think they look alike???; Uncle Stan sporting a PINK shirt and a broken wrist--he has a look on his face that reminds me so much of Grandma Helen here. And, if he could punch me right now from his hospital bed he just might for me saying this!; Me and 'Uncle'; Mom and me.
Photos: Sister Renee and Brother Stan. Do you think they look alike???; Uncle Stan sporting a PINK shirt and a broken wrist--he has a look on his face that reminds me so much of Grandma Helen here. And, if he could punch me right now from his hospital bed he just might for me saying this!; Me and 'Uncle'; Mom and me.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Diane and Michael: The Comfort of Family (and Really Yummy Food!)
A week ago today, Diane and Michael travelled here for an afternoon visit. To us, although we are not 'blood relatives,' we are family. Diane is the sister of my Aunti Vicki, who was the wife of my Uncle Stan (my mom's brother). Are you keeping this all straight? My Aunti Vicki is no longer with us, as she died in 2003. (May her memory be a blessing.)
Our Jewish side of the family is very small, so we hold onto those we have. In typical Jewish style, Diane arrived with TONS of food! She kept us fed for an entire week with the most delicious salads--tuna and salmon, both of which were the best I've ever tried! (Sorry Mom!). She also brought us salad, turkey, and soup! We were well fed this past week. Diane worked so hard to make food that met all of my dietary needs (and did a great job)--I think she's the first person to attempt to provide us with food given all of my food restrictions!
We hadn't seen Diane and Michael for two years, when they came for a visit with my cousin Dana. At that time I was still so incredibly sick from the gallbladder surgery and still had not started treatment for Lyme disease. I remember visiting with them, struggling through the hour and a half I spent with them during lunch.
This time they were here for almost 4 hours! I hope that they enjoyed the visit as much as I did. It was so wonderful and easy to be with them. And Mom and I really appreciate the effort people make to travel here despite their already busy schedules.
I think my mom actually pooped out before I did! Ha! I was pretty wiped that evening, but I always feel that the price is worth it. They came right in between my cycle of increasing antibiotics, so it worked out perfectly.
Thank you Diane and Michael for a wonderful, wonderful visit!
Blessings,
Emily
P.S. Uncle Stan, I promise that YOU will be next on my blog!
Photos: Diane and Michael, who have been married almost 40 years!
Diane, Mom (the one-armed bandit) and I.
Me and Mom--both on the 'Disabled List'!
Fall is Finally in the Air!
"Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf."
--Rabindranath Tagore--
Fall Back . . . Into a blanket of leaves!
(Oh and don't forget that extra hour of sleep we got this weekend! Yeah! I LOVE "Fall Back")
Our neighbors observed that the leaves in our yard created the 'perfect picture', blanketing the entire yard.
Alexandra took her very first photo with a digital camera--and this is it! Pretty good for a first try! She really enjoyed trying out the camera and then watching me download the pictures on the computer.
I'm sure the cars driving by really wondered what I was doing the way I was lying on the ground trying to get a good picture.
On the way home from school one day several of the boys ran through the leaves, fell down into the crisp leaves, and began making 'leaf angels'. It looked like great fun.
On the way home from school one day several of the boys ran through the leaves, fell down into the crisp leaves, and began making 'leaf angels'. It looked like great fun.
Happy Fall !!!
Emily
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Hope you had a good one!
Here is a picture of Miss Alexandra (my favorite little neighbor girl in the whole world) in her Japanese Kimono. She's with her neighborhood friends Matthew (whom I couldn't get to stand still to look at the camera!) and Jacob, the pirate.
I have to admit I'm a bit jealous of her fancy schmancy Halloween costume, which Anne made for her. My mom says all my costumes were of the cardboard variety.
Hmmpphh. The only sewing my mom knows how to do is what I taught her from my 8th grade home economics class. Oh well!
Trick or Treat,
Emily
The (Very Belated) Birthday Blog: The Big 32
As always, I find myself 'taking stock' a bit each year on my birthday. Turning 32 seemed a bit scary (as it seems so weird to be 'thirty something'). Age aside, it turned out to be a most joyful birthday.
Compared to the past two years and the past two 'birthday blogs', turning 32 was a fantastic birthday, giving me hope for better things to come.
We celebrated with a 'birthday week' so I could spread out the fun (and manage it all energy-wise!) Even our mailman was teasing me throughout the week. My birthday was on Wednesday October 10Th.
The cards began arriving on Saturday before my birthday (Go Meredith and Uncle Stan--you beat the Columbus Day back up!) By Thursday the 11Th our mailman, Ben, was writing on the backs of my cards. First it was, "More Cards??????" On Friday it was, "More. More. More. When will they stop?" And by Monday it was "More????" One day he brought packages as he drove down the opposite side of the street and the cards as he came back down our side of the street. He said he didn't want me to get too overwhelmed with excitement all at one time! He also told me to stop lying about my age--that I might be 23, but certainly could not be 32. I wish!
I spent most of Tuesday and Wednesday on the phone--the biggest blessing being that I was well enough to take so many phone calls, although I still missed many calls while I was sleeping or napping. The best part is that I still have all of your singing preserved on my voicemail--and boy, no offense, but I don't have many friends who can sing very well! Aunt Jeanette said she was probably giving me a scare for the day. Dad's singing has to win the award! Yikes! I got to catch up with so many people, which is my favorite way to spend a birthday! I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to those of you who called while I was still asleep in the morning or napping.
Wednesday evening, Mom made my favorite salmon recipe and we had a low-key dinner with a visit and birthday hug from Dad.
Thursday I needed to recuperate!
On Friday I felt well enough for a little birthday 'party' which I was soooo excited about. This is the first time I've felt up to having a little company. Mom cooked fillet mignon and my favorite gluten-free, dairy-free dessert, apple crisp! A very yummy dinner! And Dad and Abbie came over for dinner. We had such a nice evening and I really enjoyed being able to have a birthday dinner with all of my 'parental units' at one time. I teased Mom that I felt badly that the fillet was such an expensive dinner choice, to which she replied, "That's okay. You paid for it. I used your food stamps!" I'm sure the government would be thrilled to know how I'm using my food stamps.
On Sunday afternoon, Sarah and Bob stopped over for a visit with their new puppy, Buffy dressed up as a 'Buffyfly'. As always, we had a really nice visit and the two hours went by way too quickly. Buffy slept in Bob's arms like a baby the entire time!
My birthday was what I love most--filled with lots of love and time with friends and family. I was able to enjoy that time with people and on the phone more than I have the past two years. When I turned thirty I was so down. This year, I felt so alive and hopeful.
I received so many meaningful gifts, notes and cards many of them affirming my new sense of becoming a butterfly--from Buffy the Buffyfly to flowers in a butterfly vase to an entire gift themed around butterflies and 'sprouting my wings' (little butterfly earrings, Finding Neverland on DVD, note cards, etc). These gifts were affirmation to me that others also see a butterfly sprouting inside me. My spirit feels more alive than it has in a very long time (although I am having trouble holding onto that feeling these days).
I also cherish my Willow Tree 'Heart and Soul' piece which Melissa purchased as a symbol of our friendship, as well as all of the fun cards (love those Hallmark singing cards!) and kind words you wrote.
The gifts and cards were fantastic...but most of all I just cherished feeling alive on my birthday. I cherished being able to enjoy the cards. I remember being too sick to even enjoy opening packages or cards in years past. I cherished every phone call and conversation. I lamented the calls I missed and folks I didn't get to speak with. I cherished our wonderful dinner and time with family. I saved my voicemails (and your singing!) so that I could listen to them all again and write this blog (would have been better to write it a little sooner!)
I hope that each year of my 30's will be better and better. So far, that has been the case. I hope this really is my decade of healing, as I declared on my 30Th birthday. I hope that I am truly sprouting my wings and getting ready to fly again!
Thank you all for the gift of you in my life. Every night after my bath, I lie in bed and listen to the soothing sound of my new 'bubbler' that Mom purchased for me. I allow myself to be quiet and rest in what I have been given. I find that I am continuously humbled and amazed by the abundance in my life. I found myself overwhelmed by this abundance as I celebrated my birthday.
Blessings,
Emily
Pictures, Pictures, Pictures! To enlarge the collage, you must be on the website (not just reading in email) and double click on it. I've included pictures of Sarah, Bob and Buffy; Mom and I on my birthday; Dad, Abbie and I during our Friday night birthday dinner; the butterfly themed flowers from Sarah; me opening gifts from Mom (the bubbler and other assorted goodies); me opening gifts from Dad and Abbie (lots of fuzzy socks! barrettes! (Rachel these new obsessions are all your fault!) and a pedometer). I'm also sporting my birthday crown from Melissa and my cherished Iowa gear.
The larger picture is my favorite picture from the 10Th--I felt like it captured how alive I felt. And of course, Asher is sooo cute! The weather was gorgeous.
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