Another Visit at Rebekah's...

On Tuesday afternoon, Mom took me over to see Rebekah, Kale, Quinn...

and Daisy. She is one hard-working dog! (She was listening in case the phone rang.)

I haven't seen Kale for quite a while as he was napping the first time I went to see Quinn. When I got to Rebekah's house, I came in through the garage door. As soon as Kale heard the door opening he came running and yelling: "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" I think he was a little surprised to see I wasn't Daddy. He wouldn't hold still (or pretended to be bashful) for the camera, so this is my best shot of the little blossoming personality. No more Mr. Serious. This guy is Mr. Smiles now.

Someone else is learning to smile too!

I am 8 weeks old now! I weigh 13 pounds!

Look at me smile!

The first time I visited, Quinn slept in my arms almost the entire visit. This time, he was a little less into sleeping, but we did get to end the visit with some nice cuddle time. I love this photo Mom took of me with Quinn and Daisy. Daisy was perfectly content underneath my legs! I really didn't want this moment to end.

I had grand plans of getting to see Rebekah more than twice while she was on maternity leave, but it just didn't work out. I'm so grateful for the two visits we did get!!!!!

Blessings,

Emily

Lyme Disease Awareness Car: Please Vote!

Today, I'd like to ask you to take a few seconds of your hump day to VOTE for the Lyme Disease Awareness Car. 

Doing so will take will take you less than ten seconds. You do not need to enter any personal information. Just go to this page and click VOTE. 


You can vote one time per day until May 1st. So, keep voting the rest of the week!


If our car wins, the design will be printed on a car in an upcoming NASCAR race! How cool is that? The winner will be announced in Charlotte, NC during Lyme Awareness month (May).

To read a bit more about this campaign and car please check out this short blog from CALDA (California Lyme Diseases Association of America).

The car is really cool.

Voting is a simple way for you to speak up for Lyme disease awareness. (The fact that the spellcheck in Blogger doesn't recognize Lyme as a word shows we have a long ways to go! :P)


Thank you in advance for voting! And thank you to all of you who have already been voting this week when I post the link on Facebook! I have rockin' friends and family!


(If you have little kids who love cars, they will probably like the Vrrooommmm noise and the spiffy car on the website!).


Blessings,


Emily

Freedom

Sedum and Raindrops. 

At Passover we ask: What does it mean to be free? We remember those who have been freed, we acknowledge those who are still not free, and we celebrate those who are free. The Passover story is told as a deeply personal journey, as if we each individually walk through the desert with Moses on our way to the Promised Land. We dip parsley in salt water to remember the tears our people shed as slaves. We celebrate the importance of freedom for all people, praying for the day when all people are free.

Passover is a deeply spiritual holiday for me. No matter how far I feel I have strayed from God or faith, I'm brought humbly back into the arms of Judaism through ritual, family, friends, and food. As I mentioned in my Easter post, this Passover has been one of deep reflection and insight. It is a holiday in which we can examine our own suffering in light of the suffering our people endured so many years ago. There is a great comfort, somehow, in retelling that story year after year. 

Part of the lesson of the simple and accessible children's seder that Mom and I use is that freedom means many things to many people. Usually, I spend my time thinking about freedom on a larger, more global scale. Obviously, forefront on many of our minds right now is the freedom of the Libyan people and others around the world.

But what about my own personal freedom? I live in the land of the free, right? So how can I complain about a loss of freedom? I, as the Haggadah says, have the right to say "No" when everyone else says "Yes!" (or vice versa). I have the right to be Jewish, to be a Democrat, to choose what I wear, etc.

Still, what Passover illuminated for me this year was my intense feelings of a loss of freedom in life. 

I miss freedom in two ways:

1. I miss the freedom of feeling healthy.  By this, I mean I miss what it felt like to live in a body that gave me the freedom to run, dance, walk, think, read and a million more things with a lightness and ease of movement. For the past 13 years I have only briefly felt moments of lightness in mind or body. Instead, I mostly feel as if I am fighting for every movement and every thought.

2. I miss the freedom to do both big and small things. I'm working on changing my perceptions of choice and perceived choices in my life, but right now I'm feeling smothered by the constraints of illness. I certainly don't feel freedom in any areas of life that most healthy people my age are making decisions about: where to live, what career to pursue, whether or not to have children, how many children to have, what type of house to buy, where to go on vacation, etc. 

I am also not making the types of decisions that are made all day every day (likely without a second thought) by healthy people. Where will I stop to put gas in the car today? Will I run some errands after work today? Which grocery store do I want to shop at this time? Where do I want to take a run/walk/bike ride today? How many cups of coffee am I in the mood for today?  

The last time I was healthy was in college, so that is my only reference point. When I was healthy I certainly could not imagine a day when it would not be routine to get up, shower, get dressed, put on make-up, prepare my own meals, go to classes, participate in extra-curricular activities, study five hours a day, hang out with friends, and walk everywhere I needed to be. I didn't realize the amount of freedom I had in every day of my life, but I certainly remember the joy and lightness in my body that I felt as I engaged in a busy and fulfilling life.

Every day I feel overwhelmed by the constraints illness  places on my life and by the loss of freedom I feel. This can make me feel so very far away from healthy people.

What would it feel like to have the freedom to go out to dinner? To go on vacation? To drink a glass of wine? To stay up late? To get up early to see the sunrise? To eat pizza? To eat ice cream? To fly on a plane? To go for run? To drive a car? To go to the library? To go on an outing independently? To go to the movies? To go out with friends? To go for a swim? To walk on the beach? To plant flowers? To clean the house? To go shopping for clothes? To drink a cup of hot tea in the evening? To watch two movies in a row without getting sick? To spend the day outside? To stand and talk to a neighbor? To wear a skirt? To go without compression hose? To shower in the morning? To go more than a couple of hours without needing to take a medication? To sit up long enough to get a manicure? To go to a basketball game? To bathe and brush my own dog? To cook dinner for my mom? To go to my friend's weddings? To go visit them and meet their children? To go to a birthday party? To have a birthday party? To go to a store and casually browse? To turn the music up really loud and sing along with it? To dress up and go somewhere fancy? What would it feel like to have the freedom to have a 'busy' day?

Sometimes it is the smallest of lost freedoms that can be the tipping point. We have some lovely new tea I'm waiting to try--a Rooibus blend. I have already made sure to have something that is 1. not coffee and 2. not caffeinated. If I do not perfectly space out my liquids throughout my day, I will pay the price by not being able to nap or sleep at night because I will be up peeing. How can planning a time to drink a seemingly simple cup of tea come with so many constraints? And so many possible negative consequences?

It was this simple desire for a cup of hot tea this weekend that left me shedding those salty tears of pain and loss. I desperately wanted to recline outside after lunch in the sunshine while drinking a cup of hot tea. But I did not want to go without being able to get an afternoon rest because of this choice.

I feel myself screaming inside: I just want to be able to drink a cup of tea without consequences! I just want to go out to the store without us having to time the trip so that I won't end up sick(er)! I just want to eat some pizza and ice cream and have a glass of wine! I just want to get dressed and put on make-up without it feeling like a monumental effort that leaves me totally exhausted!

The challenge is to find a way to live within these constraints, yet feel as if I have some choice. I often don't see that I have choices, especially on the big things like being a mom, getting married, having a career, or going on a nice vacation. (I can have a tendency to be a little too 'black or white' in my thinking.) I have to find choice in the tiniest of things such as choosing the pajamas I want to wear, choosing to use the 'nice' shampoo, choosing to drink a very small cup of tea (rather than not drink it at all), choosing what I watch during my one hour of TV time each day, or choosing what fun color to paint my finger nails this week. On a larger scale, I have the freedom to choose who I interact with and how I spend those very precious moments each day that I am awake.

The challenge is to be able to make decisions while feeling that I did have some choice, that I made the decision with a sense of freedom, and that I made a decision that I feel good about. The other challenge is finding some sort of acceptance in regards to the things that I simply do not have the freedom to choose.

The harder the day I am having physically and emotionally, the less able I feel to make any sort of choices about my day. The day feels dictated to me by a body that will not move and a mind that will not focus. How do I find freedom in these days? 

We live in a society in which many of us are blessed with the freedom to make a lot of choices about how we live our lives, and we are taught from a very young age that we are entitled to and will have the opportunity to make these choices. 

I knew this type of freedom for the first 22 years of my life. It is glorious, wonderful and beautiful thing to feel that we have the freedom to choose and to wake up in a healthy, freely moving body. Now, I feel as if I am in the desert with Moses and the Israelites. I, like them, have known freedom. I, like them, have known suffering and cried salty tears. I, like them, am searching for freedom (even if it is a new and different freedom than I hoped for).

Blessings,

Emily

Happy Easter!

King Alfred Daffodils

The first of the Birthday Bulbs are in bloom! 

Other varieties getting ready to bloom.

And more are getting ready to bloom.

I knew I would love the daffodils that Mom got me, but I didn't know how much I was going to love them. We have had a lot of rainy, dreary days lately, but no matter the weather the daffodils add such a bright cheery punch to our yard. 

We can't wait to see the other varieties bloom.

King Alfred Daffodil

To those of you who celebrate Easter, may you have a blessed one. Our Passover here continues to be one of reflection and insight.

Blessings,

Emily

Doodles and Family...

The happy family.

I had a visit from a wonderful family today: Sarah, Bob and Lana (aka Doodles)! I haven't see them all since Thanksgiving during the Year of the Pajama. It was so great to see Doodles when I was able to interact with her more and not as sick as I was then.

Little Miss Personality

This little girl is ALL personality. She flashed that smile the entire time she was here, especially when I said: La la la la la la la la na na na na na na LANA! :)

I have the kindest, sweetest, most loving Mommy!  And she buys me lots of PINK. :)

I wasn't sure how up for a visit I was today. I've been exhausted and sad. By the time I got dressed, did my hair and put a little make-up on I was so tired, I thought I wouldn't be able to rally to enjoy Sarah, Bob and a nine month old. But my body did rally! I just have to schedule tomorrow as a 'recovery day'.

And I am sooooo Daddy's little girl!

She is one very loved little girl. Bob missed the memo that he was supposed to wear pink too. :)

Hesitantly handing over some new tunes to Emily

Here she is giving me some new tunes. Bob and Sarah are my music source, always helping me to find new music to try. Lana wasn't so sure she wanted to part with the great music her daddy had picked for me today--Courtyard Hounds, The Civil Wars, Amos Lee, and Elizabeth and the Catapult. I can't wait to listen to my new tunes!

Thank you, Sarah, Bob and Doodles, for lifting my spirits today, for the new tunes, for lots of smiles, and your kind and loving hearts.

I love you!

Blessings,

Emily

Good Food, Good People, Good Pesach...

The Seder Plate (someday we will get an 'official' seder plate!).  Horseradish, Charoset, Egg, Lamb Shank, Parsley

We had a lovely Passover seder on Monday night. I could tell Mom really wanted to celebrate Passover and try to have company, but I had still been feeling miserable and exhausted after the surgery (plus a trip down to see Dr. Complex last week). I don't know how to explain how my body rallied to be able to enjoy Monday evening, except that it was like our own little Passover miracle. Our home was filled with much needed celebration.

On a more secular note, Sunday night Mom and I made a wish on wish bone she had dried from a chicken we had eaten. When we snapped it, the top piece went flying in the air leaving neither one of us with the 'bigger half'. According to eHow this meant both of us got our wishes, and I'm quite certain what we both wished for was a good Pesach on Monday night!

Jeannine and Mamma S. (As she calls my mom. :))

Instead of writing a lengthy post on our seder, I took a bunch of fun photos of our celebration. Jeannine said she wondered how we would ever have our lives documented if it wasn't for me always snapping photos. She was, of course, one of our guests and always loves celebrating the Jewish holidays with us. 

Our Childrens' Haggadah

This is the Haggadah we use to tell the story of Passover. Yes, you are seeing that right. It is a children's version because a traditional seder is many more hours than I could manage. Passover is always one of my favorite holidays to celebrate. I love the food, I love the rituals, and I love the story. We are able to engage in many of the holiday traditions right in our own home for this holiday, compared to other holidays spent in synagogue. The Passover story with its themes of freedom, suffering, and redemption resonate with me on a very personal level. 

Me and Mom

Mom and I did not plan to match, but we do! :)

And...the Afikomen was under the hamper!

One of the fun traditions of Passover is searching for the Afikomen which is a piece of hidden matzo. Mom isn't known for finding clever hiding places, but Jeannine discovered the Afikomen under my hamper! Good job, Mom! The tradition calls for the youngest child to search for the Afikomen (which would have been Jeannine), but we both went looking.

Can't wait to do these crafts with Jeannine! My mom is so clever!

After the child finds the Afikomen they get a present. Mom was super clever this year and found me and Jeannine some super easy crafts to do! We are soooo excited about these, as everything we have tried so far has been too complicated or taken too much physical energy for me. These are just our speed (I think they are made for 5 year olds?). 

Pink bubbles. :)

Mom added in a bottle of pink colored bubbles for me. :) 

Me and Barbara

Our other guest was our dear neighbor and friend Barbara. She also wore blue. It seems Jeannine was the only on who missed the memo on the dress code. :) This was Barbara's first seder experience and we were so happy to have her!

Seriously decadent French Silk Chocolate Macaroon Pie.

On Sunday, I was able to help Mom make this really decadent French Silk Chocolate Macaroon Pie. My job was to crumble all of the macaroons (very therapeutic), rest,  and then return to combine the coconut milk and chocolate. The pie is seriously good! My favorite Passover foods, though, are also the tzimmes and charoset. 

The evening ends with dessert...

We had such a wonderful evening of ritual, friends, and food. Sharing the holidays makes them so much more joyous for us. I'm so thankful to Mom for her gentle encouragement that we do something special for Passover this year. I have been feeling so weary, tired, sad and overwhelmed. With Mom's gentle encouragement, I rested on Sunday and Monday, while she filled the house with the smells of Passover foods. When I woke up on Monday morning to the smell of the tzimmes (sweet potatoes, dried fruit, cinnamon, maple syrup, etc.), my heart filled with gratitude for Mom, for the food, for the celebration in the midst of such a difficult year, and for the gift of some non-medical time together. I'm amazed at the celebration Mom created in the midst of all that has been going on lately, even down to the pink bubbles! 

Happy Passover to those of you who celebrate, and a Blessed Easter to those of you in the midst of Holy Week right now...

Emily

Dad Gets TLC from Asher (at home)...

Dad is HOME! :)


This afternoon I received the following phone call:


D: I have some good news. Well, I think it is good news.


Me: What?


D: Well, they are ready to send me home, but they are concerned about me taking it easy when I get home and not pushing too hard too fast. 


Me: Yes, I'm worried about that too.


D: Sooo, I have worked out a compromise with them. I can go home as long as I have Asher to take care of me and help me take it easy.


Me: What?


D: We will be getting out of here soon, and will stop over at your place to pick Asher up on our way home.


At this point he really had me believing that he wanted Asher for comfort. (Asher is the king of taking care of sick people, as you know.). I don't know how I fell for this from Dad. 


Finally, I hear Abbie in the background telling me not to fall for Dad's plan. I DID end up making the great sacrifice of offering that Asher go over to be with Dad today, but we ended up planning for Asher to go over tomorrow instead. As most of you know, I am with Asher ALL of the time and hate being apart from him even when he is at the groomer or when we make our trips to see Dr. Complex!


Once I figured out that Dad was pulling my leg, I told him I would talk to him later and that he must be feeling just fine to be so full of himself!


Your brother Darrell/Uncle Darrell is back in full form it seems! 


It is going to be hard to get him to take it easy. He had already been on email this afternoon after he got home from the hospital. I told him that Asher has requested a LOT of cuddle time and undivided attention, that Dad must sit on the reclining sofa and pet Asher all day long. 


Blessings, 


Emily

Dad Reads the New York Times (in the hospital)

Just a quick little update for family and friends on Dad.


Today he said that he could feel himself improving as the day went on. He could feel his lungs getting clearer. He was able to get up for a little walk. He was transitioned from progressive care to the med-surgical.


I can tell he's hanging in there okay based on the following:


1. He had energy to read The New York Times and part of a book on gender and law. When my dad stops wanting his NYT and sociology books...well, then it is really time to worry! When Mom went up to visit today, she said it looked like he had brought his office to the hospital with him.


2. He likes to talk a lot normally, but on the steroids, he is even MORE talkative. He is so high on steroids I don't think he realizes how tired he will be when he comes home. And we all wonder how I got to be such a talker?


3. He is really enjoying telling his 'warrior stories' about his medical experiences, especially those that happened at the urgent care facility before his ambulance ride to the ER.


I am really not trying to make light of this situation here. However, I think that he has really received excellent care and monitoring so far. I've been impressed by how careful they have been in terms of monitoring his heart during the pneumonia and he's seen both an internist and a cardiologist. We/he had a little scare when he had an abnormal EKG, but all (extensive) follow-up has showed things are good. He will do a stress test in a few weeks to make sure the pneumonia did not affect his heart in any way. 


It was a bit hard to have two parents in a short time span go through being monitored with EKGs, stress tests, blood enzymes, etc. With Dad, though, we were pretty sure that what happened to him (near fainting, fast heart rate) was the result of the pneumonia (it was). At first Mom and Abbie kept withheld all of this information so that I wouldn't freak out! :P


I'm hopeful that he will continue to improve, and I really think that we have learned a LOT about how to prevent this from happening again. (He's very prone to respiratory infections due to other pre-existing conditions). 


Tonight, Dad said that he felt so much better that it was really amazing in the sense that he didn't realize HOW sick he was to begin with. Now that he is starting to improve, he can really see the difference. He's been a real trooper about the entire hospital stay (at least to me on the phone), and I'm honestly super proud of him because he is someone who hates a basic blood draw. 


We are not sure yet of his release date...but I'll keep y'all updated as I am able! It is going to be harder to get him to pace himself when he goes home. (I dread this part, but Abbie is going to have to deal with it more than I am--thankfully she is PATIENT!!! :)). 


Thanks for all of the good thoughts and prayers.. We DO agree that we all need to stay out of the hospital for a while! I have been blessed with relatively healthy parents and NO hospital stays for either of them in my entire 35 years, so this has all been a little surreal. 


While dad was in the hospital seeing one cardiologist from the practice we all go to, I was seeing another of the cardiologists. I wonder what sort of frequent flier/patient miles we can accrue to use towards a healthy year next year? 


Blessings,


Emily

Dad Watches the Masters (In the Hospital?)

Well, Dad took his Masters viewing to a new level today. Instead of getting to watch it on his fancy new 55" HDTV, he watched the conclusion from Room 233 at the hospital. Yeah, he's pretty excited about his new HDTV, even though I question his abilities to operate it and he's not that into gadgets. Recently he asked me what an app was and, while he bought me a Droid,, I'm not sure understands what exactly it is. I really think he just wants a TV bigger than his brother Larry. :))


The short of it all is that he is in the hospital with pneumonia. Abbie made a really good decision to take Dad in for care today, rather than waiting until Monday to call the doctor. Thank goodness for Abbie!


He is on IV fluids, steroids, and antibiotics and receiving breathing treatments. Abbie felt that he was so tired he would sleep tonight, and that he was doing much better than when they had arrived at the ER. The ER doctor said that he was past the point at which oral antibiotics would be effective, so he gets to hang out at the hospital for a bit instead.


By the time I talked to him this evening he had spent most of the day in the ER, finally gotten admitted to a room, watched the end of the Masters and had some dinner (which said tasted good!). He was so exhausted he wasn't making a whole lot of sense, but he said he already felt better than he had earlier in the day. 


While I am my usual anxious and worry-wart self, we are all feeling good that he is getting the care he needs and Abbie did a GREAT job being intuitive about what might be wrong when she heard a rattling sound when he was breathing this morning. He's dealing with what he thought was a respiratory bug all week. 


I wanted to put out a little blog post with the news since so many family members read my blog, and I don't have the website up and running well at all. I'm hoping y'all will read, spread the word, and say some good prayers. I have no doubt that our family can spread the word quickly and say lots of rosaries!


We hope Dad's first hospital stay since 1958 (!!!) will be a short one. He felt well enough to say he was already ready to fly the coop and they would likely release him at midnight tonight. It's going to be so hard for him to take this time that his body needs to recover. He'll be reading his journal articles, dissertations, and whatnot in the hospital!


Blessings,


Emily

Where's the Recovery Button?

Me and Dr. Surgeon stylin' pre-op. 

First the good news:  I am officially stitch-free and the incision is healing well. I'm really not experiencing much soreness where the port was removed and am already sleeping on my left side again. Being able to sleep on my left side so soon after surgery makes a huge difference. It is a much different experience than the discomfort from having a foreign object inserted into the body.

Before my surgery, the surgeon agreed to participate in a little photo shoot. He has really gone above and beyond for me during my gallbladder removal, port insertion and port removal. I'm surprised that he is still willing to operate on me after he was paged at 2 AM to come to the ER after my gallbladder was removed!

Mom had an epidural a week ago, which along with the neurontin, actually seems to be bringing her some level of pain relief. She is at least not rating her pain as a 9/10 now. Yesterday she had an endoscopy to see how her bleeding ulcer was healing. Ta da! It is gone! :)

If it seems like all we do is go to doctors appointments and procedures, well, it seems that way to us too!

Now for the not so good news:  Recovery beyond the actual location of the incision has been a different story. In fact, I think they forgot to push the 'recovery button' after surgery. If you know anything about the location of this button, please let me know! For those of you who follow me on Facebook you have already heard me whining about how lousy I feel...but I did want to get an update out for friends and family who might think I have otherwise dropped off the face of the earth.

I am one week and one day post surgery and have been feeling pretty much as awful as I did during the Year of the Pajama. So far, I have seen very little, if any improvement. Right after surgery, I probably had a Herxheimer reaction from the antibiotics because I experienced two days of pain covering every inch of my body throughout my muscles and joints.

Since that settled down I have done very little other than eat small amounts (nothing sounds very good right now) and sleep. I have not been able to engage in any of the activities that usually distract me from feeling lousy, such as TV or books on tape. I've been relying on my Smartphone to check in with the world in little bits and pieces. I've been rediscovering some of my music on my iPod. I did get to watch a little TV the past couple of days, so that is progress! Pushing to engage in an activity (like I am doing right now) just makes me feel sicker. We all know I am not feeling well when I'm too tired to talk!

Okay, so I'm just going to come out and say that basically I'm miserable. And feeling totally blind-sided by how sick I still am post-surgery. It is difficult to do anything other than literally survive. I just finished operating in survival mode for over a year while on the Rocephin. I do not quite have the emotional stamina for another round of this. I will say that I have been doing a better-than-usual job of honoring my body's clear orders to rest and sleep, but it is soooo hard! Last night, as I was listening to my healing well from surgery meditation CD, I found myself saying to the narrator, 'Shut up!'. Guess I need to give that CD a little rest.

I put in a call to Dr. Complex just to let him know what was going on. I continue to be so impressed by his office and its staff. I spoke with his nurse, who gave me the news that it could take me up to six weeks to start to feel better. It can take that long to clear the anesthesia from the body. She said the most I can do is try to eat healthy and listen to my body. And wait.

I also spoke to the nurse today at the surgeon's office while she was removing my stitches. She also felt that it could take me a good six weeks to really turn around. She felt that the more compromised our bodies are to begin with the harder it can be to come back from surgery. How 'fluffy' we are can also impact the speed that anesthesia clears the body.

Both nurses were very empathetic and took me very seriously. I was just a bit disappointed in the news!

When I considered getting the port removed, I heard 'outpatient surgery' and '20 minutes' and just a little 'conscious sedation'. I thought, 'this will be a piece of cake!'. Oh, Emily, Emily, Emily. My kind friends have reminded me that surgery is a quite unnatural thing for the body to endure.

I KNOW it was the right decision to get the port removed. I am not using it. Getting it flushed monthly is a hassle. I don't like the physical look of it. And most of all, if I'm not using this foreign object in my body it needs to go. I don't want to risk getting an infection in my port.

I'm just terribly disappointed. There is nothing romantic or glamorous about being sick and 'resting' day in and day out. It is boring, exhausting, uncomfortable, discouraging, lonely, sad and isolating. I don't know how to explain it, but as my friend R says, 'Beings sick is hard work!' It has been so hard not be able to watch TV or to be able to communicate with my friends and family other than through FB check-ins.

And while I do my best to take things one day at a time, I admit that I had begun to look forward to the coming month. Before surgery life had become bearable again with moments of joy and even fun. I was regularly going to the Farmer's market with Mom, listening to a complicated book on CD (which now sits unfinished), enjoying more complicated movies, shopping for new Spring non-Pajama clothes, doing little bits of yoga stretches, and overall feeling a bit more human. My days were still hard and still a struggle, but so much better than they had been during the Year of the Pajama.

Mom is officially scheduled to have her cervical fusion done on May 17th (more on this to come), so we were eagerly anticipating a trip down to Dr. Complex (we make these into mini-vacations with a nice hotel room, a nice dinner, and just a little time away from the house. We were even hoping for a stop at the outlet mall to one or two stores.) as well as some time without a lot of scheduled appointments. We had really begun to look forward to and feel excited about spending some time together before her surgery. Time that wasn't with me being so sick.

I will be blogging as much as I am able in between resting. I've definitely pushed it to the limits tonight trying to write this, but I've also been so sad to be so out of touch with all of my peeps. I miss you all and miss being engaged in your lives. Thanks to all of you who faithfully check up on me on Facebook, text me, and email me in spite of my silence on the other end. Your news from the outside world provides much sustenance during the long days right now. I am soooo glad my Dad and Abbie got me a Droid to keep me connected. 

I do wish I had better news to report. However, by NOT saying how discouraging this experience has been I was finding myself more and more lonely and isolated. Thanks for listening, and thanks for your love and support.

Blessings,

Emily