Friends Who've Just Met

There's not 

a word yet

for friends

who've just met.

--Gonzo, the Muppets--

Our Delicate Little Flower (As She is Called at the Vet's)  Seems to Have Forgotten that Jennifer is the One Who Tortures Her with Spaying, IV Fluids, Shots, etc. :)

Almost two years ago, we took Asher to the vet, where we saw Dr. Jennifer. Mom usually took Asher to the vet because I never felt well enough to go. Jennifer and I knew we lived in the same neighborhood and had run into each other a couple of times, but we hadn't really interacted much. I was there in my Rolls, which still makes me self-conscious sometimes. 

For the most part, since I've been sick, my friends have remained those from afar--those I have held to tightly since grade school, high school, college and through support networks. But I had never really been able to meet people locally. I've been making a huge effort lately to try to meet friends locally. Not because my beloved support network from afar isn't amazing, but because we all know that nothing beats face to face interaction and conversation.

Jennifer, who is very shy said to me: "Would you like to have lunch together sometime?"

That moment of bravery on her part has led to a beautiful friendship. She shared the Gonzo quote with me shortly after we met. Whenever Jennifer gets one of her days off, we make every effort to have a lunch date.

I remember coming home from the vet and saying: "Mom, she wants to be my friend. She doesn't care that I am sick or in a wheelchair."  I'm not sure why it is so hard for me to believe that people will see me as more than my illness, except that perhaps *I* have failed to see myself as more than my illness, despite my efforts otherwise.

All I know is the moment I went to the vet in my Rolls and Jennifer braved asking me to have lunch made both of our lives richer. 

Jennifer, Me, Tovah Rose, Gershwin, and my Strawberry Blonde dress.

Blessings,

Emily

The Seed is Hope, The Flower is Joy

Sunflowers on an Outing to the Arboretum

The Seed is Hope.

The Flower is Joy.

Turning to Face the Sun

Today I had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. Instead of needing my Rolls, I walked in and out of the appointment. Afterwards, Mom and I stopped at a pumpkin stand and picked out some pumpkins for the yard. We drove to the pharmacy where I got to catch up for a while with my favorite pharmacist. Then we stopped to visit a bit with Sara and Dave while picking up our farm share. For these other outings, I did use my Rolls. I took a nap. We shared our evening meal together. I got a bath and settled in to watch a little TV. And now, I am settled in to write a little blog post. 

Why do I detail such a seemingly simple day? Because this type of day has been unimaginable to me in over a decade. It's not just being able to do more, but being able to do more without feeling as ill. 

Love the Way They Turn Towards the Sun!

While we were driving from the pumpkin stand to the pharmacy, I said to Mom: "Can I just say how amazing and wonderful it is to be able to do simple, every day activities and enjoy them? To be able to go to the doctor and still have some energy left for something else? To have energy to enjoy this glorious Fall day? To not feel like I am literally dying while trying to go on an outing?" 

I'm still tired. I'm still symptomatic. I still crash out. I still have bad days. But it's different than it used to be.

So Many Varieties!

This winter was dreadful due to gastroparsis that wouldn't let up. In the Spring, I started to feel significantly better, thanks to the addition of B12 shots to my regimen. While I have still been struggling with the gastroparesis, my ANS symptoms improved over the summer and I just decided to have the best summer possible. I put off as much medical stuff as I could (which is now leaving me to cram it all in, but that is another post!) 

That's why so many of my posts have been about seeing friends and family, the puppies, or going on outings--I have been engaging in life as much as and as fully as possible. I still have so many summer joys to blog about. In order to engage in these other activities, I had to pull back from blogging--which I missed a lot!

When Mom shared the quote above with me, it resonated. This summer and early Fall I have truly felt that sometimes I have been able to be the flower more than the seed, that I have been able to engage in the joy rather than rest in the hope. 

As is the case with chronic illness, we never know when the wind will blow a different direction and symptoms will change or flare or be better or be worse. I'm acutely aware of how quickly things can change. I've just tried to live in the moment as much as possible, embracing the joy, and trying not get caught up in the sometimes overwhelming hope for more. Every day, Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds me to accept things just as they are, not wanting them to be different than what they are right now. That's a big task!

Blessings,

Emily

Snowbirds

The BEACH!

Many of Mom's friends are snowbirds now, including Uncle and Sandie who spend the winter in Arizona. After this past winter's seemingly unending gray and cold days, Mom said to me: "I don't know if I can do this another winter. I want to go away to the beach for February and March." 

Well, I will pretty much jump to anything that Mom wants to do that will bring her joy and happiness in the midst of caregiving. So, we've been on a major mission to find a place to go for Winter 2014.

The Home We Will Be Staying In

After a very difficult and extensive search, we can finally say that we are going to be snowbirds for the month of March in 2014! We will be staying on a golf course in Sunset Beach, NC.

Finding a house at which to stay proved much more difficult than we imagined, mostly because we needed three things all in one house: pet friendly, few to no stairs, and a bathtub. Our hope was to find a place at our beloved Emerald Isle--a place filled with years of happy memories--but we could not find a home without a huge flight of stairs. We also decided that, although we would like to be oceanfront, having one level and a yard is preferable.

We also didn't get started on our search soon enough to find a home for two months. But we are OVER THE MOON about the house we have found and the fact that we will be going away for a whole month. I really can't believe we are doing this! It's not something we could have even imagined even a  year ago.

Golf Course Near the Condo. Um, Neither One of Us Golfs?!

We'll be taking the puppies with us and Asher will stay with two of his very favorite people, Dad and Abbie. He will get a month of R and R too! 

Just looking at these photos from the webpage makes me feel more relaxed.

Blessings,

Emily

Farm Supper

Farm and Valley

We're locavores. Over the years, I've become increasingly passionate about making the best choice for our local farmers, our environment, the animals, and our health. A favorite outing for me is a trip to the Tuesday farmers market or to pick up or farm share on Thursday afternoons. Free range chicken, pork and eggs, local baked goods and beautiful organic fruits and vegetables feed our stomachs and our souls in our home.

One of Mom's most time-consuming jobs is cooking for my health and my various dietary restrictions and needs.

Here's Where The Veggies and Fruit Grow!

On Saturday, the couple who runs our CSA had a dinner at their farm, where we got a driving tour of their 15 acres of beautiful crops and everyone brought a dish to share. Sara and Dave tend to their farm with such love and passion, it comes through in everything they do. We are so grateful to them for the incredible work they do and for the amazing produce they provide.

A Beautiful Evening

Where we live is beautiful to me. I was delighted to see the farm and where our food is coming from.

Owen Pauses to Say "Cheese" for the Camera

We got to see my friend Catie, her husband Nat, and son Owen. What is a farm supper without being serenaded with original music and lyrics by a two year old and his guitar? Happy Birthday Vacuum Cleaner, anyone? 

Uh-Oh. The Frog is Asked to Take Over for Owen.

After Owen finished singing, the frog chair took over playing guitar.

Dave and Sara's Tractor, Barney

The before dinner highlight was that of Dave demonstrating how to use his 1930's potato digger. Honestly, this was fascinating! 

Potato Digger

If you want to ever have a day off or work fewer than 16 hours a day, running an organic farm may not be your profession of choice. 

Voila! Potatoes!

Almost magically, the potatoes are dug up and ready to harvest.

It's Like Magic how the Potatoes Appear

After dinner, everyone took big bags and filled them lots of potatoes to take home.

Hoop House

Sunset and Butternut Squash

As the sun was setting, folks also ventured into the butternut squash field to gather as many squash as they could carry.

Have I Mentioned How Pretty it is Where we Live?

We headed home with full bellies (maybe too full from that pumpkin pie I ate?!) and knowing how fortunate we are to be nourished by local food, such as Sara and Dave's.

I have been seeking out every opportunity I have to embrace life and the bits of energy I have.

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Naked and Canine PT

Canine PT

Asher really was meant to be our dog. He and I both had PT on the same day and we both had e-stim on our necks. :) 

Right now, PT can make him feel worse before it makes him feel better, but today we saw him moving his neck more and able to shake off a bit. In addition to the PT, we're working on a pain management plan. Asher really likes Pill Pockets, so he takes his pills and does his 'cookie exercises' for his neck willingly. 

Naked

Just as I feared, the puppies went to the groomer and came home NAKED! The upside is that we can see Tovah Rose's pretty eyes. 

Fell Asleep with His Mouth OPEN! No drooling, thankfully.

Unlike his mommy, Gershwin seems unaffected by his nakedness.

Thanks SO Much for the Pretty Sweater Dad!

Dad and I bonded with a little shopping outing this week, including a trip to PetCo for a sweater intervention. I really love shopping outings where I get to pick things out myself. 

Color-Coordinated

Twinkies: Successful Sweater Intervention

Unless the puppies are tethered to one another or wrestling, Tovah Rose will not be caught close to her brother. 

Have a great week. Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Brave Asher and Messy Puppies

Mud Ball

It's Monday. And that means it's time for some puppy antics. And a few from our old man, too. The above photo is definitely my favorite of the week. Gershwin, Mr. Construction Worker, loves to dig. Mommy Emily accidentally left the soaker hose on, and G discovered the joy of trying to dig to the source of this wonderful water. Mom Renee was not happy with me OR G. 

Lopsided 'do

Mom took the puppies for a walk around the golf course one day this week. They came home covered with burrs and thistles, requiring a major scissor intervention. Tovah can see really well out of one eye now! I'm a little nervous about how these two are going to look when they arrive home from the groomer Monday afternoon. Will they have any hair left? I'm sad Gershwin my lose his pretty dark tips on his ears. It's just hair, right?!

New 'baby'

It's part of a dog's job in life to shred plush toys, right? Both puppies love to sleep snuggled up with a 'baby'. Every time I get out a new toy, all the dogs know it's for them. How do they know this? 

Is Our Big Brother Okay?

Asher had a rough week. The puppies are pretty concerned about their big brother and seem to sense that he needs his rest and to be left alone. Gershwin misses his favorite playmate.

Recovering.

Asher has struggled his entire life with pain that we were never able to isolate. After watching him struggle with more hind leg weakness and a significant limp on his right front side, we decided together with our vet to refer him to a specialist in town. We've been trying to take the 'path of least intervention', but we are also trying to honor the fact that Asher still has a lot of joy for life. 

More detailed testing this week revealed that Asher has degenerative disc disease from C-4 to T-1. He has bulging discs at all levels, but the C-4 to C-5 level has significant compression. This explains both his back leg weakness and his front leg lameness. 

I'm struggling with 'bad mommy' feelings. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? We had no idea the extent of Asher's pain because, honestly, he's such a trooper. He's good with the puppies, he plays with them, he never gets aggressive. The vet we saw said that dogs are incredibly stoic and can tolerate incredible amounts of pain. I'm sad our poor guy has been suffering more than I realized, but I'm trying to stay hopeful that we can manage his pain better with some new strategies, including two days of IV pain meds, new oral pain meds and some canine PT! On Friday both Asher and I get to go to our PT! :)

Today, while updating on the phone with Uncle Crazy we filled him in on yet another family member with a messed up spine. Uncle Crazy said: "He's my closest relative!" Ha! We do laugh that Asher fits right into our family with his food allergies and his neck/back pain. 

Our Brave Little Guy

And how funny is this certificate that Asher arrived home with? He was a pretty brave little guy, having never spent a night away from us--he's always been with either Mom and me or with Dad and Abbie. I hate to see our poor guy suffering so much.

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Emily

Lunch with Mizuki

Reunion!

After our big surprise of my former Japanese neighbors showing up on our doorstep, the reunion continued yesterday when Mizuki came over for an all-American lunch. She stayed in town with friends for a month, while the rest of her family returned to Japan. 

Mom made a classic meal of homemade chicken nuggets, fresh local roasted potatoes, local salad greens and tomatoes, fresh fruit and chocolate tortes for dessert. Mizuki said Mom's chicken nuggets were better than McDonald's. :)

American Gear

Mizuki and Misaki love their iPhones, so I found some really fun little iPhone cases that also hold a couple of other items. I really wanted them to have something American to use, since they have gifted me with beautiful Japanese items. Plus, now Mizuki, Misaki and I will all be in much better touch with email, Facebook and photos! 

I Look Like a Giant Next to Her!

I haven't seen Mizuki in 12 years. Now she's all grown up, working and tutoring elementary students in English, and still the sweet, gentle soul I remember. I really hope we don't have to wait another 12 years to see each other again, to hug again, and to catch up. Next time we also hope Misaki can come! 

I love this girl!

Blessings,

Emily