The Mom Update...

Hello Friends and Family!


Mr. Fuzz and I are missing Mom like crazy. I've talked to her four times today! She is very ready to fly the coop, but we are not sure if she is going to get to come home on Thursday or not. Boo!  


I guess the first 3-4 days after a stent is placed are the highest risk time for any complications from the stent such as a heart attack. In some ways, it gives me comfort to know that she is being monitored so closely. Yet, I know she's really ready to come home. And, it's not like the hospital is a good place to get any rest. It's boring, but also not at all restful. 


She is still in the ICU with a wonderful view of the roof and air conditioner. Too bad because the hospital is actually positioned so that many of the rooms have a beautiful view of the mountains. The only reason she was not transferred to PCU today was because there were no rooms available. The one nice thing about the ICU is that she doesn't have a roommate. But she has to deal with being tethered to the wall all of the time. 


We don't have a lot of news to report. The cardiologist she saw today said that he would consider Mom's 'incident' a heart attack based on her EKG. I'm not sure what to make of this technicality. In the end, what we need to do to make sure we don't have any more 'incidents' is the same, regardless. And the fact that her heart is in good shape is the good news. Also, they were able to insert the cath through her wrist, rather than her groin which reduces the risk of bleeding complications. And if bleeding does occur, it's easier to catch because it's in the wrist.


I'm starting to get more details of what actually happened the night she called the ambulance. And more details of the symptoms she had been having leading up to that night. She definitely fit the classic women's heart attack symptoms, especially with the nausea (she is never nauseous!).


Thanks to the folks who brought food and did a grocery run today! Hooray! Thanks to Dad and Abbie who put in more hours today. Abbie is really helping to keep the house 'running' by loading and unloading the dishwasher, picking up, etc. and also helping me get my hair washed. D and A have been feeding Fuzz Face, letting him out, and all that good stuff.


Thankfully I got a good night's sleep last night. The wonderful thing is that I can call the ICU at any time and get an update on Mom. So I did this last night at 1 AM right before I wanted to go to sleep. When the nurse told me how well Mom was doing I felt like I could go to sleep. I knew Jeannine would be there early in the morning. 


I am going to do the same thing tonight!


Continued thanks to the many people who have called, emailed, texted, and gchatted me today. It's really keeping me going and sustaining me to have news and support from you all. I'm completely overwhelmed by your continued kindness. 


I so appreciate the offers for help, and for letting me know what things you feel comfortable doing. I hope to have a more quiet day tomorrow where I can write down who has offered to do what jobs and figure out what kind of help we might need. Sometimes I just don't know what it is that we need! :P I know many of you who are far away are feeling especially challenged with how to help...but your emails, texts, prayers, and support ARE helping! :)


Blessings,


Emily

Update with Good News and Many Thanks!

Dear Friends and Family!


I don't even know where to start. I've slept about 6 hours in the past 36 hours, so I'm beyond exhausted. But wanted to get out an update to let you know what we know right now. First, an update on how things are going, and then some more details on the help I think we will need as we've been blessed with an abundance of generous offers. I wish I could respond to all of you individually, but right now that is not possible. Know that I've cried and smiled a lot today because of the love we're receiving. We are so blessed by you!


The very good news is that it appears that Mom did NOT have a heart attack. While in the ambulance it went down to 16 beats a minute, but never stopped. She never lost blood flow to the brain. Her heart muscles looked good and her enzyme levels did also. She literally called the ambulance just in time. 


The cardiologist said she was 'trying very hard' to have a heart attack. :P I think, in fact, she's been on the verge of one for a while now. Right now I'm just thanking God she called the ambulance when she did, because she literally lost consciousness right as they were pulling up to the hospital entrance. 


Still,l I noticed when I was able to get out of bed today that she had somehow seen my note asking her to bring some cough drops upstairs to me. I think she went back downstairs AFTER calling the ambulance and brought them up for me. That is just classic Mom. I even watched her WALK out the door with the EMT at 4 AM.


She also kept waiting to call the ambulance because she didn't want to wake me up. She was trying to wait until morning. Oh my.  I want her alive more than I want my sleep! My biggest fear is losing my mom, so this experience has been terrifying. I am still in fear mode.


I'm fighting the coulda, woulda, shoulda's right now....we have a lot to learn from what happened, but right now we just need to get through this time.


I've gotten to hear her voice three times today. This was wonderful. She sounded really good this morning, but exhausted tonight. 


The AMAZING woman known to all of you as Jeannine, and to me as my 'sister' and best friend and to my mom as a 'second daughter', has been up since 4 AM and with my Mom every step of the way. She called me constantly with updates, she popped in and out of Mom's room all day long (she works at the hospital), she spoke with the cardiologist and the neurosurgeon (Mom was scheduled to have surgery on her neck on December 16th), she told the doctors about Mom's med sensitivities and family history, she took care of my emotions, she sat with Mom during meals, and well, just did it all. 


It stinks not being able to be there with Mom, but I honestly think Jeannine is a hundred times better at doing this than I am! :P Sadly, that is from too much experience with her own mom.


I also could not have made it through the night without my friend, Kristen, who I met through DINET. I was so scared and alone and she was awake. She spent those morning hours on gchat with me. I desperately wanted to pray, and she prayed with me over gchat! She also knows a lot about cardiology and the heart, so she could talk me through what was happening to my mom. The blessing of her presence got me through.


Soooo, I think that Mom will get to come home Thursday. She is still in ICU for the night, but will be moved to PCU (Progressive Care) tomorrow. She will like having a few less wires I am sure.


Abbie took care of me and Asher today. Dad was scheduled to go to a conference in SF from Wednesday to Saturday, and has cancelled his trip, so I have people to be here with me right now when I need it. Dad is not good at anything domestic, but he can be good at just 'being' and hanging out. :) Abbie is doing the domestic work. I am sure Dad's sisters are laughing at this right about now. 


I have not been able in any way to respond to the overwhelming amount of support we are receiving. Getting your text messages, blog responses, phone messages, and emails all throughout the day really helped me to feel less alone. I really appreciated those of you who shared stories of your own parents going through something similar and doing well now. I needed to hear that! I also appreciated the many offers to be a listening ear....I will probably have to take you up on that soon! You also helped me to feel less afraid of getting the support we need when Mom comes home. We are going to need to learn to ask for help. I also can't wait to tell her about all of the messages and make her smile!


Your offers to do everything from walk the dog to cook have been so very generous and overwhelming. I am not sure where to start or how to ask! I don't know what we will need or what Mom's restrictions will be, but I anticipate the biggest thing we may need is food--meals ready to go or freeze and groceries--especially over the next couple of weeks. Otherwise, we may need rides to appointments. For those of you who are enthusiastic about walking Asher, I am sure he would enjoy a walk, as he probably almost forgets what that is by now. Poor guy.


Right now we have two pots of soup on the way. I requested some Jewish penicillin (chicken soup) from our neighbor when he asked what he could make. And Rebekah has a pot of Tuscan bean soup (or something like that) on the way tomorrow also. We have fresh pears and apples coming. And homemade applesauce already arrived. I haven't felt like eating much today...so the soups are sounding very good and I think they will go down easy when Mom comes home and is tired.


I think this should get us through the weekend. Many of you have asked about food, and what my restrictions are. I cannot eat gluten or dairy, but a tiny trace of either will not be a problem. We eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, organic foods, lean meats, fish, etc. 


I have no experience running the house or being head of the household, so I'm slightly lost and overwhelmed! I need to try to make a grocery list with the special foods I eat from Wegman's so we'll have some of those items around. So, I am looking for someone comfortable with going to Wegman's for some of the foods that I eat (I will make a very detailed list of the gluten-free items). 


Otherwise, I'm focused on getting meals lined up.


I was so scared (and still am) about managing things so that Mom is less overwhelmed when she gets home. I am scared about managing with two people who are so limited in functioning. 


First though, I just want her home. I want her healing well. I want to hug and kiss her. I'm still in the freaking out/hypervigilent mode! 


I am completely at a loss for how to thank you all for your continued kindness and generosity. Thank you to everyone near and far, who offered both emotional support and physical support in a multitude of ways. We are truly, truly blessed to have people like you in our lives. Thank you so much for all of your prayers for my mom. Just as Kristen was praying about a catheterization, Mom was taken back to the cath lab. So, please keep your prayers for her coming! 


Blessings,


Emily

Mom had Heart Attack: Prayers and Good Thoughts Needed

I am not sure of any other way to distribute this news to friends and family, quickly and easily, since blogger sends out my posts at 7 AM.

Mom had a heart attack early this morning around  4 or 5 AM.

She called the ambulance herself and went to the hospital. I called Jeannine, who is there with her and calling me constantly with updates.

At this point we know that her heart stopped in the ambulance. She was stabilized, put on IVs, and the Heart Alert Team was immediately called in. I spoke to her before she went into the catheterization lab and she was awake and coherent.

She was having a heart attack at the time the Heart Alert Team arrived, and was taken back to the cath lab immediately to locate the blockage. My understanding at this point is that she has two blockages, but neither was a complete blockage, meaning that she continued to receive blood to her brain throughout the procedure.

At this time, one stent was placed.

Jeannine just spoke with the doctor, and Mom is resting comfortably. She will be in ICU and monitored closely. Tests will be run to assess the damage to her heart. They will decide whether or not another stent needs to be placed later.

I will use my blog as a place to keep you updated throughout the next couple of days, so please check www.adancinglight.blogspot.org if you are looking for new or up to date information. I will post as it comes available to me and as I am able.

In many ways we were very very fortunate that Mom called the ambulance when she did and the Heart Alert Team arrived within 15 minutes.

We are blessed to have Jeannine (who is a pro at this sort of thing) go to the ER at 4 am to be with my mom. At this point, I do not know if I will physically be able to visit Mom or not, which is absolutely awful.

Please pray for my mom and send healing thoughts that she will be safe and heal well.

Blessings,
Emily

A Good Ending to the Week: Rebekah and Kale

Two of my favorite people came to visit on Friday afternoon last week!

Mr. Kale had lots of smiles for me and we played lots of peek-a-boo.

Last week was a really rough week with doctor's appointments (for myself and Mom!) and really struggling with ANS symptoms. Rebekah and I had been planning this visit for a while, and my body COOPERATED for the visit. 

Unfortunately, it did NOT cooperate afterwards and I was up sick the entire night. Very frustrating.

We had take-out from a new local Thai restaurant and then sat outside in 65 degree weather for the rest of the visit. Clear blue skies, sunshine and no ragweed!

Kale was kind enough to mow the lawn for us while he was here. He is very serious about his 'mow-mow' and spent an hour mowing so that Rebekah and I could chat. After that it was time for both Kale and I to take a nap.

Kale is finally warming up to me, and he let me take him to the mailbox. This was my exercise, for sure!

I managed to get dressed in nice clothes, put on make-up, fix my hair, and have visitors. It was a big day and a good day.  Even though I crashed big time, the time with a good friend and a cute little man was much needed.

Thank you Rebekah and Kale! 

I'll try to update this week on the craziness that is our lives...but thought this was more fitting to start off a Monday morning (Mondays are already hard enough, right?)

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Rebekah and Kale (who did not want to pose for photo ops); Kale playing peek-a-boo; Kale mowing the lawn; Me and Kale at the mailbox.

Go Hawkeyes! No. 1!

This shirt arrived in the mail yesterday as a gift from Mom. I've officially added to my Iowa Hawkeyes collection, and I'm dressed for the game today! (Not that I'm actually watching...that would require a HUGE change in my being to start watching football! Plus, with FB you all keep me in the loop anyways!)

This photo is for YOU my dear Iowa family, whom I love and miss so very much. And for my Mom and Dad who both got their Ph.D.s at Iowa. I'm very proud of them both.

Go Hawks! And I love you "Iowa family"!

Emily

P.S. Spending time outside in the 65 degree weather we are having today. Glorious sunshine. And awesome Hawkeyes gear.

Me and Mom

During the Princess Party, we went outside to take some photos. I was actually wearing something other than PJs and Jeannine was there as photographer. I was Princess Emily and mom was Queen of the Kitchen. (She is definitely that! I am sooo spoiled with good food.)

I love how Jeannine captured these moments between Mom and I. We weren't posing for the first two photos.  We are so fortunate that we enjoy one another's company so much since we live together and she is my caregiver! 

We have so few photos of the two of us together, so I wanted to share these. 

I love my mom more than anything in the world. 

Blessings,

Emily

Photos: Mom and I in our yard.

The Princess Party

As my 35th birthday approached, Jeannine said we had to talk about a way to make it a celebration. My goal for the party and for my 35th year was this: to have more FUN. And fun we had! 

She said to me: Do we need a theme? What do we need to do? At this time I was still on the rocephin, and wondering how I was going to have any birthday celebration at all, no matter how small. I wanted the them to be just fun, simple, and positive. 

We decided on the theme of a Princess Party. We are all queens of something, right? 

The 'party' was just three of us: me, Mom, and Jeannine, as I really can't handle much more than that at a time right now. We started out with an amazing treat of take-out Thai food from a new restaurant. 

We topped that off with gluten-free, dairy-free pumpkin spice cupcakes. Some of my friends may be amazed that I did not have vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting. :)

I just love this photo of me and Jeannine outside after lunch. How she manages to radiate so much joy in her face with the trials she faces, I do not know. 

Jeannine arrived at our luncheon with a big brown shopping bag labelled "Emily's Bag 'O Fun". It was filled with tons of fun crafty supplies like glitter pens, stickers, paint pens, paint, feathers, fluorescent hair spray, and masks to decorate. Apparently finding crowns or wands to decorate is a challenge, so she came with masks instead.  I, of course, made a princess mask as you can see in the photo at the top. Can you guess which one is Mom's and which one is Jeannine's?  It was really amazing to watch how much our personalities came out in each of the masks.

I have missed crafting so much. I used to love to do creative things, and was constantly engaged creatively. This 'party' may seem silly, but it was just perfect. The craft was doable in the sense that it could be done in a short time, and it was something that was disposable--I didn't have to make something perfect to keep. Just something to have fun with (and which I ended up wearing for Halloween). 

I feel like a kid in a candy store with my Bag 'O Fun, and can't wait to have energy to use some of the goodies again. 

After the crafting, we spray-painted our hair with the fluorescent colored hair spray. Jeannine picked purple. I picked, um, pink of course!  That stuff is seriously gross (it STINKS!), but it is also so much fun.

After so much stress and challenges, being silly, goofy, frivolous, 'un-grown up', and having a Princess Party made for the perfect birthday. I was grateful to have those two hours of feeling well enough to enjoy the party, and have FUN. 

Major thanks to Jeannine for coming up with the theme and the craft! You did good, as you would say.  

Blessings,

Princess Emily

Photos:  Masquerade masks--top to bottom: mine, Mom's, Jeannine's (hers is definitely the best one); Thai spring rolls; Making a birthday wish (gee, wonder what I wished for?); me and Jeannine outside; Making our masks; Jeannine and her purple hair; Me and my pink hair.