Well, we're hanging in there. We're using all of our energy to survive (literally).
The good news is that the surgery went exceptionally well.
The surgeon was very pleased and said he was able to repair the rotator cuff well. Mom has done very well pain-wise so far. She's struggling more with stamina and energy after major surgery than she is with pain. And EVERYTHING takes a LOT longer with one arm--especially when it's the left arm!
Jeannine did an "AWESOME" job (word choice compliments of my mom) handling everything the day of surgery. She got up at 4:30 am Thursday morning to pick Mom up at 5:30 to head to the hospital. She waited through surgery, called me with a post-surgery report immediately (so she 'wouldn't forget anything the surgeon said') and left a voicemail. (We had a plan set up that if there was an actual emergency she would call my land line and I would have the ringer on, but thankfully we didn't need that plan!). She spoke with the surgeon, met my mom in her room after she left recovery, helped my mom with lunch, left for a bit and then came back to help my mom with dinner. When I thanked Jeannine today and told her what a gift it was to have a friend I could trust to take care of my mom she said she felt the weight of the responsibility and it made her a bit nervous!
Honestly, without her we would have been lost. The nursing care gets, at best, a C- for their efforts. Dad visited Mom Thursday evening and Abbie took over Friday--which turned into a LONG day, as the nurse refused to give Mom anything other than Percocet or Morphine, even though we had specifically requested Tordal. Of course, my mom ended up sick from the Percocet. UGH! Abbie ended up spending most of her day waiting for and or helping my mom get home.
Since Mom's been home we've certainly had our share of adventures. Mom started off Friday, after only being home for a few hours, trying to help me heat up dinner. She was standing at the microwave and began slurring her speech. Then her tongue was hanging out of one side of her mouth and she began to drool. She kept grasping at an something and I kept saying, "Mom, what are you trying to do?" "Mom, you are slurring your speech". I thought she was having a stroke! Thanks be to God, after she sat down and cooled off (she was all clammy) she regained her speech and coherency--but not after giving me a good scare. I told her she had 'pulled an Emily'--as she had almost fainted. The symptoms just manifested in a weird way--probably from exhaustion and pain meds.
Thankfully, Dad and Abbie happened to call on the cell phone and ask if we needed anything and were her shortly thereafter to help with dinner and getting both Mom and I safely to bed.
We would be up a you-know-what creek without the blessing of good family, friends, neighbors (who hem pants and bring homemade applesauce!), a caregiver who loves working for us, and a dog walker who loves Asher.
In all honesty, we're just barely managing. Every day is a struggle. We're exhausted. We're overwhelmed. We fall into bed at the end of each day and collapse. (Well, she falls into her 'Old Lady Chair'). Even with all of the help, we're spent.
Mom has ALWAYS 'gotten' me, empathized to the nth degree, but now she really has a new understanding of the frustrations--the ride services that run on their own schedule, the frustration of ADL's taking so much effort, and how much energy it takes to have others 'do for you'. It is easier to just do it yourself and you wish you could, but you can't, so you patiently give instructions and it's exhausting!
On a humorous note, we're at least 'able-bodied' in different ways--so she stands and heats up dinner, and I use two arms to serve dinner. We took Asher for a short (very short) stroll last night and she shone the flashlight and I picked up the poop! We're quite the team.
We are laughing through it all as much as possible. Mom's already muttered the words, "I'm bored." And, I've said, "Oh, Lord help me for the next month of this!" She already says she has ants in her pants. How do you teach a woman who has NEVER sat still to SIT STILL??!! It took me years to learn to be still, so I'm not banking on her learning this in the next four weeks.
She started PT today, and otherwise is expected to engage in very little activity for the next four weeks. She's been too tired and miserable so far to enjoy her movies or any reading, but each day she's been a bit stronger. Of course, she already overdid it today! Go figure!
So, if we can just keep her out of trouble, we'll be in good shape.
I feel overwhelmed. I'm trying to help out more, but it isn't much. I wish I could do more. I fall into bed at the end of the day and I grieve. I've been having trouble sleeping even though I'm so tired. I'm increasing my antibiotics and the setback from that gets me down--on top of everything else.
The good news is that the surgery went exceptionally well.
The surgeon was very pleased and said he was able to repair the rotator cuff well. Mom has done very well pain-wise so far. She's struggling more with stamina and energy after major surgery than she is with pain. And EVERYTHING takes a LOT longer with one arm--especially when it's the left arm!
Jeannine did an "AWESOME" job (word choice compliments of my mom) handling everything the day of surgery. She got up at 4:30 am Thursday morning to pick Mom up at 5:30 to head to the hospital. She waited through surgery, called me with a post-surgery report immediately (so she 'wouldn't forget anything the surgeon said') and left a voicemail. (We had a plan set up that if there was an actual emergency she would call my land line and I would have the ringer on, but thankfully we didn't need that plan!). She spoke with the surgeon, met my mom in her room after she left recovery, helped my mom with lunch, left for a bit and then came back to help my mom with dinner. When I thanked Jeannine today and told her what a gift it was to have a friend I could trust to take care of my mom she said she felt the weight of the responsibility and it made her a bit nervous!
Honestly, without her we would have been lost. The nursing care gets, at best, a C- for their efforts. Dad visited Mom Thursday evening and Abbie took over Friday--which turned into a LONG day, as the nurse refused to give Mom anything other than Percocet or Morphine, even though we had specifically requested Tordal. Of course, my mom ended up sick from the Percocet. UGH! Abbie ended up spending most of her day waiting for and or helping my mom get home.
Since Mom's been home we've certainly had our share of adventures. Mom started off Friday, after only being home for a few hours, trying to help me heat up dinner. She was standing at the microwave and began slurring her speech. Then her tongue was hanging out of one side of her mouth and she began to drool. She kept grasping at an something and I kept saying, "Mom, what are you trying to do?" "Mom, you are slurring your speech". I thought she was having a stroke! Thanks be to God, after she sat down and cooled off (she was all clammy) she regained her speech and coherency--but not after giving me a good scare. I told her she had 'pulled an Emily'--as she had almost fainted. The symptoms just manifested in a weird way--probably from exhaustion and pain meds.
Thankfully, Dad and Abbie happened to call on the cell phone and ask if we needed anything and were her shortly thereafter to help with dinner and getting both Mom and I safely to bed.
We would be up a you-know-what creek without the blessing of good family, friends, neighbors (who hem pants and bring homemade applesauce!), a caregiver who loves working for us, and a dog walker who loves Asher.
In all honesty, we're just barely managing. Every day is a struggle. We're exhausted. We're overwhelmed. We fall into bed at the end of each day and collapse. (Well, she falls into her 'Old Lady Chair'). Even with all of the help, we're spent.
Mom has ALWAYS 'gotten' me, empathized to the nth degree, but now she really has a new understanding of the frustrations--the ride services that run on their own schedule, the frustration of ADL's taking so much effort, and how much energy it takes to have others 'do for you'. It is easier to just do it yourself and you wish you could, but you can't, so you patiently give instructions and it's exhausting!
On a humorous note, we're at least 'able-bodied' in different ways--so she stands and heats up dinner, and I use two arms to serve dinner. We took Asher for a short (very short) stroll last night and she shone the flashlight and I picked up the poop! We're quite the team.
We are laughing through it all as much as possible. Mom's already muttered the words, "I'm bored." And, I've said, "Oh, Lord help me for the next month of this!" She already says she has ants in her pants. How do you teach a woman who has NEVER sat still to SIT STILL??!! It took me years to learn to be still, so I'm not banking on her learning this in the next four weeks.
She started PT today, and otherwise is expected to engage in very little activity for the next four weeks. She's been too tired and miserable so far to enjoy her movies or any reading, but each day she's been a bit stronger. Of course, she already overdid it today! Go figure!
So, if we can just keep her out of trouble, we'll be in good shape.
I feel overwhelmed. I'm trying to help out more, but it isn't much. I wish I could do more. I fall into bed at the end of the day and I grieve. I've been having trouble sleeping even though I'm so tired. I'm increasing my antibiotics and the setback from that gets me down--on top of everything else.
I think Mom has been more of trooper than I have been. She's been a super-trooper in my mind. She's even writing left-handed shopping lists and to-do lists. Right now it's hilarious trying to read her writing, but she may just be ambidextrous when this is all said and done!
So, we're hanging in there as best we can. And holding each other up as best we can.
We're grateful all went smoothly with the surgery, grateful for Jeannine's care and that of Dad and Abbie, grateful for the love of friends and family and all of the well-wishes and calls and cards.
Oh, and Asher is taking great care of BOTH of us. He has spent his days never leaving our sides. Some days I think he's not sure WHO he's supposed to be taking care of. On Friday he never left Mom's side until he went to bed with me. And he's been loyal to her throughout. I'm not sure I like sharing! Haha! He's been great for both of us and he's working VERY hard to do his 'job'. According to our dog trainer every dog needs a 'job description' and Asher's has always been 'protector of Emily', but he does a good job protecting Mom too.
If we don't respond, please know we're here. We're just using all of our energy to SURVIVE!
Blessings,
Emily
Photo: Asher, 'the protector', ready for duty. He went in my room for 'nightwatch' and the way he settled onto the bed with his head propped up on the pillow was just too cute! He loves to be whereever we are--that's when he's happiest. He might not look like he's 'working' in this photo, but he is! He's ALWAYS at work--on 'alert' constantly for anything that he needs to 'tell' Mom or I is 'wrong'. He can sense all of these things!
1 comment:
Emily,
It is good to hear an update. I'm glad that you and your mom are hanging in there okay. I pray that you'll both have the necessary strength and patience for the next few weeks of recovery.
Take care,
Rachel
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