Engaging and Participating vs. Supervising and Observing + Jennifer and Allison

Allison Learns How To Use Cookie Cutters

One of my very favorite parts of my 'new life' is the feeling of being more actively engaged and participating in life's activities--big and small--rather than always 'supervising' or 'observing'.

Allison and Jennifer Roll Out The Dough

It's so fun to explore this 'new life' with my friends who have been part of this journey during some of my most trying times.

I met Jennifer when I was still very sick, and she has learned to accommodate easily and comfortably to my needs--usually coming over to my house for lunch or tea and a quiet talk.

Lots Of Sprinkles!

Now, we're exploring more activities together and I love that she is willing to make different and new accommodations based on my needs now.

A Little Sprinkle Happy

Over the holiday break, I went over to Jennifer's house to make holiday cookies with her daughter Allison. When I found out that Jennifer and Allison had NEVER made cut-out sugar cookies with loads of sprinkles, I knew this situation had to be remedied STAT. 

Jennifer did the 'hard labor' of making the dough ahead of time, rolling it out while I was there, putting the trays in and out of the oven, while Allison and I cut out cookies and topped them with a LOT of sprinkles. 

It was so fun to spend an afternoon together with Jennifer AND her daughter.

The Sugar Is Catching Up With Allison!

Jennifer and I have stayed committed to trying to get together one Tuesday a month (her day off). The consistency of this has helped us to continue to grow in our friendship with each other, and I am so appreciative of her calming presence, her perspective, her wisdom, her compassion and her listening ear. 

February Get-Together (Tovah and Gershwin Love Their Vet!)

We didn't snap a photo this past Tuesday when we got together, but we had a BIG afternoon:

1. Leisurely lunch out. (I have gone out to eat more in the past few months than in the past 17 years combined! I could probably count on one hand the times we were able to eat out in the past 17 years.)

2. A quick trip to Ulta. Jennifer pushed me in the Rolls, which was a big milestone for me to let her do that. She had never been to Ulta--so I introduced her to what totally overwhelmed her! I found hair goodies.

3. Stopping back at my house to try on the dresses I bought recently to see which ones she liked best.

It was a true 'girls afternoon'. I just can't believe this is MY life and I can engage in these activities now. 

Thanks for the much-needed girl time, Jennifer!

Blessings,

Emily 

Busy Catching Up: Rebekah

The Glowing Pregnant Lady and Me

I have spent the past two days catching up with close girlfriends that I haven't seen since before the beach trip. I love being in love and having a boyfriend, but some good girl time and counsel is always important too. :)

It's hard to believe Rebekah has seen me since my sickest days when she worked as my caregiver in 2006, continued working with me on organizing and giving me massages until her first child was born six years ago. 

Usually, we are struggling to see each other twice a year--for our birthdays and a date at a local Thai restaurant, but recently we've been on a roll! It's been great. We went out for my birthday, she visited in February for an afternoon, I saw her at the Mom Prom, and then we had lunch this week. Yay!

Prego with #3! :) (February of this year)

I'm thrilled and honored that Miss Rebekah has invited me to come to the hospital to meet her new little one when s/he arrives. This feels like such a huge blessing to be included in this moment of her life. I've never been well enough to visit a friend in the hospital to see a newborn baby. 

Again, this new life? It's wonderful.

Blessings,

Emily

This New Life

Feeling JOY

This New Life.

The Vastness of the Ocean Reminds Me of the FREEDOM I Feel

It's SO Big. BIG. 

Like the keychain Jeannine made me during my days of being very sick that reminded me to Think Big.

She says I've always been someone who Thinks Big. 

Nature Makes Perfect Art

I overthink big time too, but that's a whole different post. Or posts. Or a zillion posts.

But this NEW LIFE of mine.

I Was SO Happy To Be Able to Stand UP and Do This!

It's so full. 

It's just SO BIG. 

I can't believe it's MY life. My Very Own Life.

A Path Appears

It's changing so fast I almost feel like I can't quite keep up. I feel like I'm not sure where I'm going or how I got here. Except that I look back and think about how I've persevered and how resilient I've been.

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Sunlit Path

Well, mostly, I've been doing what most people do every day: Enjoying the little things and the big things. Spending time with people I love. Spending it in new ways.

My Journey

Like going on a double date out at a fancy restaurant with Kiernan and Sarah and Bob.

Like having lunches out with friends who've been visiting me in my recliner year after year. 

Like going to lots of PT, massages, counseling and acupuncture. HEALING is still my full-time job.

Like going to the Mom Prom and dancing to three songs. 

Like having a three hour Passover dinner. 

Infinite

Like buying a hair drying with a diffuser and blowing my hair dry for the first time in 17 years. 

Like going downtown to a cute store and buying a couple of short dresses. 

Oh, how I've wanted to wear short dresses for so many years but couldn't because I had to have my legs up all of the time. 

Like thinking about what I want to do for my 40th birthday to celebrate life (any ideas welcome!). 

Like how to fundraise for Dr. ANS. 

Like working in the garden side by side with my boyfriend. 

Like sitting upright for several hours a day.

Like drinking a glass of wine or a martini for dinner.

Like being able to go to out to lunch AND to an appointment all in the same day.

Like planning to go see Garth Brooks in concert on Saturday.

Like having a Shabbat dinner at our house on Friday.

Like taking a bath in the middle of the afternoon because I CAN. Because I can take my hose off, put them back on, get dressed, take a nap and go out that evening.

The FREEDOM. Oh, the FREEDOM. It's a remarkable feeling.

It's weird to have being 'too busy' be my new problem. I need to find a way to stop being too greedy with my new freedom, as Dr. ANS has warned me about. But I admit, I AM greedy for this freedom. I've been waiting so long for it. 

Our Warmest Beach Day!

Going from illness to wellness is a process. It's a whole new world. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm loving life.

And, I'm trying to remember to BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT so I don't forget to Take. It. ALL. In.

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Goodbye Winter Fleece!

Blue Camo and Hoodie Modeled by Gershwin

As you all know, Mommy got really behind on her blogging when she started dating Kierny. She even neglected our Monday Dog Blog!

A Natural: Tovah Rose Models Pink Camo Fleece with Camo

We're here to reassure you that we will pop in with some pics from the winter that you might have missed. 

Dinner Time

Sue (our wonderful cleaning person and friend) changed over Mommy's closet from Winter to Spring clothes when she was here last week.

Taking Dining To a New Level

We are glad that we no longer need our fleece gear or raincoats that helped get us through this cold and rainy winter!

One Tired Guy

But, boy, did we ever look CUUTTTEEE in our little fleece outfits. 

Are You Doing That RIGHT Gershwin?

And we were sure thankful for them this winter.

A Whole New Level of Zen

We're even happier, though, that we can put the fleece away 'till next season just like Mommy got put away her winter clothes. 

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Tovah Rose and Gershwin

Mom Prom: Dressing Up, Dancing, and Supporting a Good Cause

I've Always Wanted to Do a Photo Booth!

It's been 17 years since I've put on a fancy dress, my dancing shoes and headed for a night out of music, dancing, raising money for a good cause, drinking a martini and hanging out with a bunch of awesome women. In fact, the last time I had on my dancing shoes was probably at a wedding 17 years ago.

Rebekah and Me

My friend, Rebekah, is CEO of a local organization that helps those with intellectual disabilities. At first, I was a little hesitant to attend an event with the name "Mom" in the title (it's always going to be a loaded word for me), but Rebekah assured me that 1. I didn't need to be a mom to attend, and 2. I am a mom to my fur kids. 

Rebekah even lent me a dress for the event! :)

Abbie and Me

The event was SO. MUCH. FUN!

I went with a neighbor friend (Andrea) who recruited two of her friends to attend. Abbie popped in for a while. And I found other folks I knew there as well, including a high school classmate I've been in touch with on FB, but haven't seen since graduation.

Leila, Kaitlyn, Me, Andrea

In the afternoon I took a bath, did my hair and make-up, and got all ready to go. After my nap, all I had to do was slip into the dress Rebekah lent me. 

I drank a martini. I walked around the whole ballroom. I bid on (and won) an awesome silent auction item. I got to cheer on Rebekah. I met new people. I did the photo booth. 

And biggest of all: I DANCED to three songs!

One of those songs was Happy by Pharrell!

How glorious that felt! (And exhausting!) :) 

It was a meaningful end to Passover--so many new freedoms this year, not to mention so many all in one night.

To be able to dance to even one song? Dayenu.

To be able to dress up in a fancy dress? Dayenu.

To be able to tolerate the noise, commotion and large group of people? Dayenu.

To be out for four hours? Deyenu.

To be able to go out to support Rebekah and a great cause? Dayenu.

To be able to dance to THREE songs? To dance at all? 

It was MORE than enough.

I spent Saturday in my PJs--with a little guy named Gershwin more than happy that I was ready to snuggle all day.

May these new freedoms I've been experiencing almost daily now continue!

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Spring Has Sprung!

Watcha Lookin' At Mommy? Don't Make Us Come In!

Hey Everybody! Guess what?! Spring is HERE!

We are so very happy about this. 

We spend every possible minute we can outside. 

We are so happy to breathe in the fresh air, soak in the sunshine, bark at all of the people and dogs and cars and bikes going by, and just enjoy the view.

This is The LIFE!

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Tovah Rose and Gershwin

Asher: Still In Our Hearts One Year Later

Teaching Tovah Rose to Open Boxes

It's hard to believe a year has passed since we said goodbye to our beloved Asher. His photo is still the Wallpaper on my iPhone home screen. I just can't quite let it go.

Three's a CIRCUS!

Asher's presence is still with us, though. He taught us all so very much.

Yesterday Mr. G didn't would not budge from my bed to go for a walk. Yes, he's a couch potato, but he is also a dog well-taught by his big brother. He doesn't think he should leave his mommy when she is resting. So many days Gershwin is like a mini-Asher. I'm so thankful Asher was on Earth long enough to welcome Gershwin and Tovah Rose into our family and teach them the ropes.

Braver

Thank you, too, Asher for being the dog that got me through the very worst days of my life--from the moment I held your picture in my hand as I waited for you to arrive to the moment you left this world--you were always watching over me. You made me braver. You helped me venture out into the world using a wheelchair. You brought friends into my life by being your handsome lovable self. Most of all, you watched over me every single day of your life. You were the most devoted and loyal dog I've ever known.

After you died, a friend sent me this necklace.  For the first several months, I did not take it off at all, not even to sleep at night. Now, I can go more days without needing to wear it, but this week I have not been able to take it off. It's kept you close to my heart.

At Foster Mom Jean's Home

We miss you like crazy big guy. We also know that it was your time to go. So, we just hope the treats are wonderful and packed in boxes with lots of tissue paper for you to tear apart.

Run free, my beloved Asher...

Blessings,

Emily