Buried Under, Digging Out

Jenna--Organizer Extraordinaire

For so many years I've felt buried in clutter, weighed down by stuff I don't even know I have, unable to find the things I actually want to be able to find, yet not well enough to tackle the stuff that leaves me feeling buried under.

I've worked with organizers here and there, but I've never found a gem of a person and the perfect fit for me until Jenna. 

It is such a relief to find the right personality match for such an undertaking.

In the past, organizers would rush me through decisions faster than my brain-fogged mind could keep up or give me assignments that I couldn't accomplish during the week or push me past where my energy levels could keep up.

Finally, with Jenna we work at a slower pace. I'm able to take the time to go through things, look at them one more time, and say goodbye. 

Running out of Time to Organize before Kale Arrived!

Rebekah was a wonderful caregiver for me who also chipped in with massages and organizing, but then she got prego and I haven't had help since 2009! :) Thankfully, she still an amazing friend. As you can see, I was using my recliner and pull-out sofa to survive, printing emails and not able to do anything physical to keep up. Rebekah would work while I stayed in the recliner.

Rebekah in 2009

Now that I'm working with Jenna, I've let go of all of my clothes that no longer fit, which means letting go of an unrealistic expectation of 'getting back into my skinny clothes'. 

Now that I've let go of being a mom, getting rid of my own childhood memories and belongings feels less painful and stressful. 

I don't want to keep carrying this weight of stuff around with me. I'm ready to dig out from under the years of stuff that have been piling up.

Not only have we lived in the same house for 43 years, but for the past 21 years I've been sick. That has meant little energy was left for organizing. We dealt with crisis after crisis by having my mom scoop up any items and papers in my room, throw them in a box and stick them in the basement. We've been in survival mode for so very long.

Today happened to be Severe ME/CFS Day, and it's hard to think back on those days that were all about survival, going days or weeks without leaving the house--and doing so mostly to go to appointments. The fact that I'm able to have Jenna here helping me organize and work on finding my way through the stuff that has piled up over those years makes me one of the lucky ones--to no longer be living with one of the most severe cases of ME/CFS.

I'm thankful that, as exhausting as the organizing is physically and mentally, I am able to finally pursue the desire to simplify my life, let go of the past, and only be surrounded by things I really need and want.

Blessings,

Emily