Monday Dog Blog: Serenaded

Dad is Here! :)

The puppies had a visit from one of our favorite people this week. 

Swing Low Sweet Chariot

Dad serenaded them with Swing Low Sweet Chariot and other favorites.

Hmmm...We're Not Too Sure About His Singing

As you can see from this photo series, Tovah Rose and Gershwin were not too sure what to think about Dad's singing.

Please Stop Dad!

But we were all still happy to have a visit from Dad.

Gershwin and Tovah Rose: Too Tired to Fight?

Never having had a sibling, I can only imagine that T and G are a bit like human siblings. One moment Tovah Rose is mad at Gershwin for 'invading her space' and the next I find them 'spooning' like this? 

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Emily

Recipe Fridays: Kosher for Passover Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cooke Bars

As most of you know, my mom is a wonderful cook. We love eating local, fresh meats, produce, eggs and cheeses. We're part of a CSA and regulars at the farmer's markets. We limit any processed foods.

I have been gluten and dairy-free for almost 15 years. Just recently, I've been able to add in hard cheeses, butter and kefir. Since the end of last summer, I've also been on a very strict diet called the Low FODMAPS Diet for my gastroparesis. 

It's working. And I couldn't do it without the dedication and creativity of Mom, who's been a tremendous trooper when it comes to constantly adapting to my dietary needs. 

Most all of our meals are made by Mom with tremendous love in our kitchen. We've spent years searching for healthy, tasty recipes, especially gluten-free treats. Most guest leave our home asking for recipes. 

In light of these many requests for recipes and our long search to find truly wonderful things to eat in spite of dietary restrictions, I've decided to share recipes as I am able. One of Mom's greatest gifts to me is the food she provides for me every day. I hope some day I'll feel well enough to learn to cook, too.

The first recipe I'm sharing is a newly discovered one. Mom found it in Hadassah magazine--and it turned out so well it's already a keeper. Marge and Marjie already asked for the recipe, Jeannine couldn't stop saying how yummy these tasted, and I'm already planning to make these again for book club. 

Mom and I have always enjoyed baking together, and were able to make these together for Passover. 

If you've eaten something here you've loved, please let me know and I'll start by sharing those recipes!

Blessings...and Enjoy!

Emily

Chocolate Chip Cookie BarsMakes 24 square bars.
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil, plus extra
2 tablespoons vanilla sugar, or 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 1/4 cups ground almonds
1/4 cup potato starch
1 cup mini chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 375° F. 

2. Grease the bottom and sides of a 9x13-inch baking pan; line bottom and sides of pan with parchment paper, then grease the parchment all over. Set aside.

3. Using an electric mixer, beat the sugar, eggs, oil and vanilla sugar on medium speed until combined. Add the ground almonds and potato starch and beat until all the ingredients are combined. Add the chocolate chips and beat until just incorporated. 

4. Transfer mixture to prepared pan and spread evenly with a spatula. 

5. Bake until edges are browned or a toothpick inserted into center emerges clean or with a few dry crumbs attached, 30 to 35 minutes. Cool, lift out parchment and cut into squares or bars. Store at room temperature for five days, or in an airtight container in the freezer for up to three months. 

From: The Holiday Kosher Baker: Traditional & Contemporary Holiday Desserts

Note: The batter will be very, very, very thick and difficult to spread. We ground the nuts in a food processor--meaning that they are not going to have a fine consistency like almond flour. The batter comes out very differently than anything we've ever made, but don't fret, it tastes wonderful! 

Also, in place of chocolate chips we used high quality dark chocolate bars which we placed in a Ziploc bag and used a mallet to crush them. This is the fun part!

Make-Overs, Bucket Lists and Photo Shoots

Post-Makeover Photo Shoot

As I write this post, I'm a little tired from bouncing off the walls the past week! Being able to have such a wonderful Passover, go to the Easter biscuit hunt, have Marjie over for tea, go for StRolls now that Spring is here, and go on a big shopping outing has left me literally crying tears of joy and gratitude. 

It just feels so good to do normal every day things--all the things I've been wanting to do and unable to do for so long. 

Yesterday, Mom and I made an outing to Ulta where we spent two hours--90 minutes of which was spent with the store manager who gave me a make-over!

My New Look: Thanks to All of My Friends for Product Suggestions!
I particularly like that the name of the Tarte cheek statin is "Tipsy"! :)

We all know I can take life a little too seriously. I'm working on carving in more FUN.

I love being girly. I love cute clothes and painted fingernails and haircuts and jewelry and nice make-up. I'm not going to apologize for this--I'm not extreme in any way. 

I love the balance that fun, girly, pretty things give me in a world that is so often not pretty when it comes to illness. Because let's face it--very little about illness is pretty, sexy, or girly--except maybe my cute pajamas.

Feeling Happy

Growing up, Mom and I always enjoyed back to school shopping for new clothes, the arts festival in town, or just putzing in the cute shops downtown. It's something we miss doing together.

In recent years, I've either ordered things online (which I find difficult for clothes) or Mom has tried to do all of the shopping for me. It's not fun for her at all. And always leaves me feeling like I don't have the freedom to choose what I really want.

The Two Princesses

So when the Ulta flier arrived in the mailbox last week, I decided I wanted to make an outing there. (I had already posted on FB earlier to ask my friends what product lines to use that 1. they liked a lot, and 2. were environmentally friendly and safe to use.)

Mom and I scheduled a shopping date. We put it in the calendar. We planned ahead. We spent two hours at a store. 

Wait. Read that again. We planned ahead. We shopped together. We were at the store for two hours. 

No having to 'wait and see how I feel when I wake up', no rushing in and out of the store as fast as possible before I cannot sit up any longer, no Mom having to make decisions without me.

My Sweet Little Guy

Getting a make-over may be simple and frivolous. It's the freedom to be able to go out and shop for fun, for me, for just what I want that has me flying high. And for a girly girl like me, at 38, it feels good to have 'getting a make-over' crossed off my bucket list. :)

I bought several of the products yesterday, and will gradually be purchasing the rest of them. I have decided this 'new look' will be my 16 year anniversary of getting sick gift to myself.

Blessings,

Emily

Passover: The Freedoms We Celebrate

Spring is definitely here--the sedum are poking through last year's brown stalks, the daffodils are blooming, the redbud is covered in its pink buds, the forsythia are almost ready to 'pop', the burning bush, dappled willows, viburnum, and spirea are all budding. 

And while Spring is often one of my difficult seasons, this Spring I'm feeling hopeful, joyful and alive. 

I've spent many a Spring too sick to enjoy being a part of all of its joys, and instead felt as if I'm only an observer of its beauty.

This year we celebrated Passover with the same folks we shared Hanukkah--Jeannine, Barbara and Marge. 

Passover is all about freedom--whether it's the freedom we celebrate as Jews who are no longer slaves or freedom to make our own choices, to say 'yes' when others say 'no', to wear the clothes we like, to listen to the music we want or any of the many other freedoms we enjoy every day--freedoms that, with a heavy heart, we recognize so many people in the world still do not enjoy.

This Passover celebration was one of my all-time favorites because I felt well enough to fully enjoy the food, the company, and the Haggadah. 

Some years, I've been so weak and sick that I'd sit in my recliner struggling to read the Haggadah, gasping for breath as I read passages out loud. I didn't feel well enough to have company, so Mom and I would celebrate just the two of us. While those Passovers together just the two of us were special, the joy of Passover is so much greater when it is shared with others.

Our little group spent three hours together talking, reading our children's Haggadah, eating Mom's wonderful chicken soup, tzimmes, salmon, salad, and chocolate chip almond bars. Yes, I needed to recline during the time we were together--but part of Passover is to recline and be comfortable anyways! :)

 I could not stop smiling when I realized I had participated fully in the entire seder without being distracted by feeling unwell!

Sometimes this chronic illness journey can feel like one big journey through the dessert, waiting for the freedoms I no longer have. I still long for many freedoms. At the same time I celebrate all of the new freedoms I have now. 

Marjie has taught me that I can feel sad about what I don't have and grateful for what I do have. 

It's not: 

I am sad that I still need to recline while eating, but I am happy I could last for three hours.

I am sad that I cannot help Mom with all of the Passover preparation, but I am so grateful I helped make the dessert.

It's: 

I'm sad that I need to recline while eating.

I'm happy I could last for three hours.

I'm sad that I cannot help Mom with the Passover preparations.

I'm so happy I was able to help make dessert!

These are separate and distinct items. They are not holding hands. 

Grief and gratitude. Together? Yes. Holding hands. Not necessarily.

Being able to fully enjoy a three hour Passover meal with Mom and dear friends is a freedom and joy that leaves me grateful and hopeful.

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Tea and Puppies

Ready For Some Beauty Sleep

After getting bath Saturday, promptly playing in the mulch afterwards, and wearing themselves out, the puppies needed some beauty sleep to prepare for tea with Marjie Sunday afternoon. Tovah Rose even got all dressed up in a pink bow! I wish I had a photo of these two little guys hanging out in the mulch turning their paws black. 

Marjie and Tovah Rose: Adorable, Right?!

Sunday afternoon, my new friend, Marjie, came over to have tea, meet the puppies and eat some Passover goodies.

Marjie and I share a lot of common interests and struggles--and having afternoon tea together made my day. We are both looking forward to connecting more with one another, as well as with other Jewish women. 

Mommy's Boy

I feel as if I'm continuing to stay focused on my priorities--when I start to feel uncertain about my day or how I might spend my time, I remind myself of my list. It has helped me to feel focused, joyful and confident in my daily choices. 

I spent all of Saturday afternoon with the puppies--helping to dry them after Mom bathed them, playing in the yard with them, brushing them, practicing some commands and taking the time to just watch them joyfully run around in the yard after their baths.

Jewish Dogs Hit the Easter Biscuit Hunt!

We also went to a fun event at the local pet store--an Easter Biscuit hunt. Tovah, who is usually the braver of the two pups, was shaking with fear when she saw all of the people and dogs. But she settled down and both puppies ended up doing very well with all of the people, dogs and hunting for doggie biscuits. We were all very tired afterwards!

Happy Monday!

And to those of you who celebrate, I hope you had a blessed Easter.

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Asher Dasher in Pictures

I've been spending a lot of time going through my photos of Asher--photos that have reminded me of the joyful, goofy, loyal, anxious dog that blessed our lives for 12 years. I hope this photo journey will make you smile as much as it has made me smile. I've already written about our loss, but I still wanted to share his life in pictures.

Asher Dasher was a pretty handsome fellow with a big personality.  Soft Coated Wheaten Terriers are a jolly, happy, playful breed by nature. 

Asher was always very tolerant!

He loved Miss A and her entire family.

Anne knew just the spot to scratch him.

He loved celebrating birthdays and opening boxes!

He thought every box that arrived was for him. 

He always kept watch on us and was happiest when his entire 'herd' was together in the same place.

He knew who to take care of and when.

Even the day before he died, he was keeping watch in front of my bedroom door. I'd always hear him plunk down in front of my door and it was like 'permission' to go to sleep because I knew I was safe.

He loved to 'supervise' everything.

He even protected my slippers.

He took great joy in romping through the yard, going on a Wheaten 'tear' and chasing after his Kong AirDog. These moments, when he was full of complete joy, are some of my favorite memories of him.

He loved to sniff the fresh air.

He loved to lay in the cool grass, especially on summer evenings.

He knew when Ben the Mailman left him a bone with the mail.

He loved to go for rides and on outings.

And always looked for a bench or picnic table on which to rest. 

He loved the snow--playing in it and eating it! Even during his last days, he'd ask to go outside so he could eat some snow.

He even liked to lay down in the snow for a rest.

Dad and Asher had a very special bond. Asher was Dad's "Good Buddy". They enjoyed lots of wrestling matches over the years.

Asher had lots of goofy ways of resting and hanging out.

He would lie at the top of the steps or halfway down as a way to 'keep watch' on both me and Mom.

He thought the ottomans were his!

He could do 'pretty boy'.

He loved that ring, and I loved when he carried it over top of his nose.

A romp required a good drink out of the faucet afterwards or a rest by his water bowl.

He had funny crooked teeth.

He took care of me. Really good care of me.

Abbie's very first memory of Asher is coming to meet him the day after we got him, when I was very very sick. When she came into the living room, he was lying right next to me. She said it was as if he knew his 'job' right away.

He loved his toys and I loved the joyful noise of him squeaking them. He'd often dig around in his toy boxes looking for just the right toy.

This was a common scene at dinner time. He'd get out toys, put them by his bowl, and wait for dinner.

I made him pose for a lot of photos. :)

He gave a lot of kisses. A lot. If you don't want to get a lot of kisses and be licked a lot, don't get a Wheaten! He even gave full foot cleanings.

Thankfully, he always loved going to the vet.

This is one of my last photos of him, taken while he was staying with Dad and Abbie.

And here's one of his last photo-ops--this one by Marge.

Asher could no longer enjoy the things he loved most in this life. He is without pain now. He is not suffering. Below are the very first photos I have of him. I hope he is with his frolicking and napping with his foster sister Zoe by his side.

Jean and I will be lifelong friends and forever connected because she saved Asher's life and let us be his forever family.

I've never been so fiercely loved or protected by a dog. Sometimes Asher's desire to protect me made him a challenge and his anxiety was sky-high. Yet a look into those soulful eyes made it impossible  not to love him for his giant, loving, generous heart. Asher was always a 'brother' to me--different from the puppies. We called him my brother and my sibling. I certainly was not his mommy, as he is the one who, I believe, came into my life to take care of me. He had a very clear purpose and job in this life of his. He did it well, never wavering in his faithfulness. 

The comfort of his body next to mine; the bark to let Mom know something is wrong; the body in front of my door; the squeak of his toys; the joy in chasing his ring, squeaking toys, playing in the snow; the click of his toenails; the car rides and outings we had together on my sickest days; the look in his soulful eyes; and his goofy ways will be deeply missed. 

He was a great brother.

Blessings,

Emily