Lights of 2008: Mommy Bev Visits

I'm a little slow in getting started on my series of 2008 Light posts. If I'm going to finish this series before the end of 2009, I think I will need to learn brevity! And learn it fast! :)

High Light One:  Mommy Bev Visits!

Many of you have heard my talk about a woman I have come to call "Mommy Bev." I met Beverly on DINET in 2004, and we soon began chatting over email--writing long, authentic, heartfelt emails.  Since we met, Mommy Bev has remained a constant source of unconditional love, support, guidance, compassion, and empathy. She came to be called Mommy Bev because she, in so many  ways, mothers me. She's also a Jewish mommy!

I remember reading an article in O, The Oprah Magazine, many years ago discussing mothers. The message was that we can never have to much mothering, including from sources other than our own mothers (and I have one amazing mother). I really do love that sentiment.

When Mommy Bev and I met online, I had no idea that I might have Lyme disease. Mommy Bev, herself, has Lyme.  Without her, I would have been and would continue to be even more lost and overwhelmed by the symptoms, the decisions, the searches for doctors, the questions than I already am. She has been a constant source of not only knowledge, but also support. It would be impossible to imagine this journey without her--so impossible that I may never have even found out I had Lyme disease without her guidance.   

Our paths have intertwined in ways we never could have imagined. Sometimes we used to email each other and happen to be listening to the exact same book on tape at the same time. Our connection has had this amazing quality to it from the very beginning.  When I doubt where God is in my life, I remember the ways in which people like Mommy Bev have come into my life--seemingly by coincidence, but with such great purpose and guidance.  

She's a person who mothers me without asking for anything in return. It's very difficult for me to accept this, but I'm working on it! She has an analogy for everything. When I needed to erase the words of the gynecologist from my mind, she suggested picturing a teacher wiping the chalkboard at the end of the school day and clearing the words away.  When I say I don't want to add to her already very full plate, she tells me she has plenty of plates for me--with my name on them. If something bad happens--a shoe doesn't drop--a pair of army boots drops!  

Mommy Bev is a constant source of love to me, and also a constant reminder of what it means to endure, to fight, to have courage, and to have strength. 

As you can imagine, we were so excited to be able to actually meet in person. I am so incredibly humbled that she came to visit. I was definitely nervous! Would she be who I thought she was? What would it be like to have this person in my house whom I had only ever talked to over email and on the phone? 

As you can see from the photos, we hugged a lot. And we felt like old friends together. I even came in the den, laid on the bed with her, and we talked like we were having a slumber party between two women who had known each other for a very long time. 

She arrived on Mom's birthday and left the day before Mother's Day. I thought that was a fitting weekend to have two 'mothers' in the house! The visit was very quick, but just right for both of us energy-wise.

Here's Mom blowing out her birthday candle! :) We didn't do anything fancy--so she is just having a chocolate covered dried apricot. Pretty yummy anyways! 

Mommy Bev game my mom a beautiful apron that she wears all of the time.  She gave me Sarah Brightman CDs, as music is always the perfect gift for me.  And every time I listen to them, I am reminded of our visit.

We had a wonderful visit. I am so grateful for the visit for so many reasons. In many ways, it gave me a new level of comfort and faith in the lasting love of our relationship. Right now, neither of us has much energy to write. So we don't get to keep up with each other much. That's hard.  But it is also a lesson in loving each other even when the energy to stay in touch isn't there. I'm able to rest more fully in the relationship now than ever before.  Meeting in person, and hugging each other, meant making a special relationship even more special.

I love you Mommy Bev!

Blessings,

Emily

Photos:  Mommy Bev and me hugging. Mom blowing out her birthday candle. May 2007.