Weekend Lyrics: Mi Shebeirach

Mi Shebeirach

Music by Debbie Friedman
Lyrics by Debbie Friedman and Droroah Setel


Mi She-bei-rach a-vo-tei-nu
M'kor ha-bra-cha l'i-mo-tei-nu,
May the source of strength
Who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage
To make our lives a blessing,
And let us say, Amen.


Mi she-bei-rach i-mo-tei-nu
M'kor ha-bra-cha l'a-vo-tei-nu,
Bless those in need of healing
With r'fu-a sh'lei-ma,
The renewal of body,
The renewal of spirit,
And let us say, Amen.

Why I chose these Lyrics: Debbie Friedman's album, Renewal of Spirit, is dedicated completely to songs of healing. Debbie herself suffers from a debilitating mystery chronic illness, so her songs resonate from her own experience and her own heart and soul. Mi Shebeirach is perhaps her most famous or most commonly heard song, especially in reference to healing.

I actually chose this song before I knew I was 'crashing'--and it has, in fact, turned out to be a perfect choice given how I am feeling.

While I love this song, it is not my absolute favorite; it would be hard to choose a favorite though. Over time I am certain that I will share more of her lyrics with you because this particular album has been played over and over and over again, comforting me through some very difficult times.

I am always searching for Jewish music--which is certainly difficult to find! I particularly love Debbie's music for two reasons: 1. her lyrics speak to me profoundly, and 2. she sings in both Hebrew and English (While music sung exclusively in Hebrew is glorious and gorgeous to listen to, I do appreciate understanding what is being said! I do have a life goal of learning Hebrew, but I think that is a ways away!)

Particularly moving to me in this song is her reference to gaining strength and courage from our ancestors, her Biblical reference to "...and you shall be a blessing" from Genesis (she has another album titled You Shall Be a Blessing), and her blessing for all of those in need of healing. What an important reminder to give ourselves each day: To be a blessing.

Shalom,

Emily

Photos: Lillies in our yard. Photo of Debbie Friedman taken from http://www.debbiefriedman.com/.

Poem: Hope and Love

Hope and Love

by Jane Hirshfield
from the book "The Lives of the Heart"

All winter
the blue heron
slept among the horses.
I do not know
the custom of herons,
do not know
if solitary habit
is their way,
or if he listened for
some missing one--
not knowing even
that was what he did--
in the blowing
sounds of the dark.
I know that
hope is the hardest
love we carry:
He slept
with with his long neck
folded, like a letter
put away.

This is the poem in full that I spoke of in my earlier post. Thank you to Lauren on DINET for introducing this poem to me. I admit, I rarely 'get' poetry, but I do love this poem. And the image of the heron sleeping with his neck folded and put away reminds me a bit of my journey as a 'tortoise'--and how a tortoise pulls its neck into its shell to rest and hibernate

Photo: Mom just purchased this photo at a recent arts festival. It arrived in the mail yesterday and it is GORGEOUS. It's hard to do it justice on the blog! I also thought it fit well with this poem.

(Image taken from http://www.blichfeldtphotos.com/)

The Lone Sentinal: Lake Huron Shoreline, Tawas Point, Michigan.

Following is the artist's description of the photo: After searching for a single symmetrical tree to photograph, I came upon this tree and an empty bench along the Lake Huron shoreline. It was such an inviting scene, I knew I had found what I had been looking for - or, so I thought. As I was facing east preparing to shoot, I noticed exceptional skies approaching from the west. The lighting and subsequent cloudscape transcended what I had envisioned; so, I waited there until a complete west-to-east shift in the horizon occurred. After several hours, the drama began to unfold and this image became the bonus that sometimes occurs when one is patient. --Howard J. Blichfeldt--

Blessings,

Emily

Crash, Boom, Boom!

"Hope is the hardest love we carry..."

--excerpted from a poem by Jane Hirshfield--

Okay, so I have 'officially' crashed. I guess I'm long overdue for a crash, but that never seems to make it easier.

I've been very blessed this summer with mild crashes in between 'windows' of feeling 'better' (better being relative). For the most part, the crashes have been predictable, following my antibiotic schedule or visitors.

With this crash, I'm not sure what has precipitated it. And sometimes there is very little purpose in asking "Why?" But, it's hard not to.

This time around I can't tell if it is 1. A typical herx from the antibiotics, 2. The new pain medication I started--Neurontin, 3. Just my body saying stop and rest after a very busy summer, or 4. A combination of one or more of the above!


I always know the crashes will come, but I never know when they will come, how fiercely they will come, or how long they will last. And somehow, they NEVER get easier. I haven't figured this out yet! I know they will come, I know they will pass, but I still get blindsided and emotionally overwhelmed every time.

So, I've done my fair share of whining, as usual. (Yes, I seem to be having a bit of a pity party for myself--not sure why! Time to alert Whine-1-1 (a term coined by a fellow DINET member))And I'll spend the time making myself as comfortable as possible (hard to do when I feel like I am going to pass out, my heart is pounding, I'm sweating up a storm, I have chest pain, every muscle in my body aches, etc. etc. and so on! And all I want to do is sleep, but my body doesn't want to!).

I'll cuddle with my Asher Dasher, my new teddy bear, Slumbers (from Miss Alexandra and family), listen to soothing music on my iPod, and maybe some of a fun children's book on tape.

I'm hoping this will pass in the next few days, as my uncle is coming for a visit on Monday and I am so excited to see him that I want to feel a bit perkier! I haven't seen him in five years. I always hope I'm getting the crash out of my system before company comes and then I will feel good when they are here. This has been working so far this summer! It reminds me of the 'bad dress rehearsal, good performance' phrase for some reason.

Thankfully, I do have my blog in place now to help especially during times when I can't be in touch.

I've got so many of you to catch up with on email...please remember that my lack of response is not because I don't care or because you are not in my thoughts. I hate so much that I can't write the emails I'm lying here writing to each of you in my head! Too bad my gmail can't just read my mind and type it out for me! Haha!

Aaaaaah, and I thought I was sorta kinda catching up on my to-do list and tackling, bit by bit, my inbox. Grrrrrrrr.............

So, until this crash is over I will:

Retreat.
Hibernate.
Rest.
Wait patiently.

Blessings,

Emily

Photo: Slumbers--my new teddy bear from Alexandra and family. His arrival seems to have been just in time!

Poem: Introduced to me by a fellow DINET member also suffering from chronic Lyme.

Sarah and Bob Visit: A Pleasant Afternoon, As Always

Time to get caught up on blogging about July's visitors! On July 15Th Sarah and Bob came over for an afternoon visit. As always, it was a pleasant and relaxing visit. Why did I choose the word 'pleasant' rather than 'wonderful' or another adjective? The word reminds me so much of what my parents both say after an enjoyable visit with friends. "Oh, we had such a pleasant evening" or "It was a pleasant visit." So, rather than seeing this as a 'blah' word, I've learned to view remarking on a visit with friends or family as 'pleasant' as a compliment.

I'm pretty spoiled by Sarah, since she is a townie and we get to see each other several times a year when she comes home to see her family. She always comes bearing some sort of 'treat'--this time it was an album of her and Bob's recent honeymoon on a Disney Mediterranean cruise. And Bob always comes bearing a new batch of CDs for me to listen to and discover new music. I think Sarah is responsible for my entire butterfly collection in my bedroom!

Sarah is, as a friend, steadfast, loyal, faithful, patient and loving. She's also hysterically funny, goofy, and places great importance on embracing her inner-child, which I love! She's the friend who calls once a week, no matter how many weeks her calls go unanswered. She keeps calling and leaving messages just to say "I'm thinking about you. If you can call me back I'd love to talk to you but if you can't I understand. I love you and I miss you." Over and over, without seeming to get weary.



Sarah and I met in band (of course!) when I was a freshman and she was a sophomore in high school. We've been friends ever since, and grown closer over the years.

I'm always looking forward to her next trip home and our next visit, and I'm enjoying getting to know her new husband. AND I can't wait to meet her new puppy that they got just two days after they were here! Hopefully she'll be potty trained by then?!

As always, thanks for a 'pleasant visit'!

Love,

Emily

Photos: Sarah and Bob looking all cute. Pretty in Pink--me and Sarah (wearing her Disney cruise shirt, of course!). Yes, I want her skin tone! Yikes, sitting next to her amplifies my paleness!

Asher: The Birthday Boy!

Yum!!!!! This Frosty Paws tastes soooo good, especially on a hot, muggy evening like this! Alexandra, our neighbor girl, came over this evening to celebrate Asher's birthday. He very much enjoyed the celebration! He also is looking quite dapper for the photo shoot, as he also made a trip to the groomer today. I LOVE how he feels and smells when he comes back from the groomer! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHER DASHER!

Me and my favorite little girl, Alexandra! We spend many an evening together. Today she and her dad arrived with a teddy bear named Slumbers for me (to help me sleep) and a bag of goodies for Asher--he quite enjoyed 'opening' the brown paper bag from the grocery store to discover a toy and treats! He got very spoiled! Thank you Alexandra and Scott!

I can't believe we've had Asher for a little over 5 years now! We adopted him on May 6, 2002 and today, July 30, he turned 6! He still acts like a puppy though. Once a Wheaten always a Wheaten!

Here are a bunch of pictures from the past year. In addition to being called various names such as Cuddlebug, Lovebug, and Asher Dasher, he has now acquired a new name from our neighbor, Anne (Alexandra's mom)--Goofy Doofy. It seems to fit him quite well. He has a tendency to run into things and such!

Above is him playing with his absolute favorite toy. We've had about three of these so far. No matter what other 'outside' toys we have bought him over the years, he only wants to play with his tennis ball ring!

All tired out!!! Boy, all that playing was hard work!

I like this picture from last fall of his sweet face!
Always in on the action! Giving me birthday kisses and wishing some of those presents were for HIM! Every time a package arrives he likes to 'help open' it...and I think he supposes maybe it will be for him? Toys or MachoStix please?
Ready for a romp in the leaves (best to wait until Mom has raked up the piles all nice and then run through them so she has to rake them again!) and ready for Halloween in his 'Boo' bandanna. He really likes the camera, can you tell?
Looking handsome as always and nicely groomed. And, if there is an ottoman to be found, it's his. Lord Asher.
Mom took this picture of him through the sun room window this past winter. He was just lying on the snow! For some reason I find this picture hilarious. Goofy Doofy for sure.

Definitely another favorite from last fall. He's outside enjoying the fresh air, the breeze through his hair, and his favorite toy right next to him. Aaaah, pure happiness.

Happy Birthday Asher Noam!

Blessings,

Emily

Ambien: Letter SENT to My Legislators!

For those of you still following the 'Ambien Saga', today I emailed the following to ALL of my state legislators. So, I'm keeping up the fight. I have removed all identifying details for privacy purposes. I felt proud of myself for doing this...I've always been politically aware and ALWAYS vote, but I've never actually written to any politicians!

I'm already fired up about the 2008 elections and I love getting my friends all fired up too--especially the ones who I know will go nuts when I tell them who I'm voting for! :) All in good fun...

While I appreciate the nurse case worker from MA, we are both equally in the dark about what in the world MA wants me to do in order to get Ambien (and she WORKS for them!). It's ridiculous!

Dear Representative:

I am writing as one of your constituents who is a person with a disability and a recipient of Medical Assistance (MA). I am also sending this to other state legislators.

MA continues to make it more and more difficult for recipients to receive services and medications, especially since its induction of stricter formularies and a hearing process to receive denied medications.

I am using my case to make you aware of what horrific circumstances MA recipients are going through to try to receive necessary medications. I have attached direct links to entries on my blog describing my experience.

The first entry is an explanation of the demeaning process I went through: http://adancinglight.blogspot.com/2007/07/ambien-hearing-fight-for-something.html

The second is, in essence, a letter to YOU: http://adancinglight.blogspot.com/2007/07/ambien-letter-to-my-state.html

I ask that you read these entries, as I speak on behalf of ALL MA recipients going through the same struggles.

I also ask that you intervene on my behalf to help me receive this medically necessary medication.

I thank you for your good work and service over the years to our state.

Sincerely,

Emily

My Love of Music Inspires "Weekend Lyrics"

Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order and lends to all that is good and just and beautiful.

--Plato--

Since I was a little girl, music has been an integral part of my life. I used to wake up in my crib each morning singing. I would 'conduct' to the music on the radio or on the record player. I loved when my dad would sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot while he rested my head against his chest and I could feel the vibration. I sang along to the 'Wee Sing' tapes over and over again. (Too bad all this practice resulted in absolutely NO vocal talent whatsoever!)

Now, I own more cassette tapes and CDs than I care to admit. By age 3 1/2 I was taking dance lessons. I danced for almost 20 years of my life, expressing music through movement. Then there were piano lessons, musical theatre performances, and lots and lots of playing the saxophone--in concert band, symphonic band, jazz band, marching band, and summer theatre.

I always listened to music but admit that I spent more time playing music or dancing to it than I dedicated to really listening to it. Music, especially in band, was often a social outlet rather than a time of introspection. This does not dismiss the incredible learning that took place in the band room with Mr. K and Mr. V. Without those formative experiences--in dance, band, and theatre, I would not have come to love music in the way I do now.

During the past three years, music has taken on a new meaning in my life. Many days it sustains me. I have learned to spend hours lying in bed simply listening to music--not doing something with music, just being with music. When I can do nothing else other than lie in bed sick, music is something I can often use to soothe my spirit.

After my gallbladder surgery in January 2005, I remember waiting all day for 8 pm to arrive when NPR's Performance Today with Fred Child came on. And I couldn't wait until Wednesdays to listen to the Piano Puzzler. I started to really learn about music from this show. Noise from any other source--a TV, music with lyrics, a book on tape were too much for me to handle.

Having to lie in bed and rely completely on listening to music to sustain me through those horrific days changed the role music played in my life.

I always listened to music--blasting it on my car stereo, singing along out-of-tune, buying the latest music, learning about new artists. But I never really took the time to care if it was something beyond my favorite classical artists or pop artists.

Now, I spend every night before bed listening to music--really listening to music. I find meaning in the words, healing in the melodies, and comfort in the beauty of it when nothing else can comfort me--physically or emotionally. Some nights when I am too tired, weary and sick, I can listen to only the quietest of music--like the soothing sound of the Native American flute.

I have learned that I, literally, need music to sustain me, to nourish me, to hold me up, to keep me hanging on when I think I cannot.

This 'new and different' love of music is what has inspired my new weekly feature called 'Weekend Lyrics'. I have to admit I got much of this idea from my friend, Tess' blog, where she has 'Saturday Art' as a weekly feature.

On Friday nights, at the end of a long week (and this week turned out to be an especially trying one), we light the Sabbath candles and for a moment we remember to be still, quiet, prayerful and see God's light in the flickering candles.

And so, it seems the weekend is a perfect time to reflect on the week past and the week to come through song lyrics.

A moment of pause.

A moment to stop and appreciate the beauty and gift that God gave us in music.

And, I think also, a perfect addition to Dancing Light's Studio Notes. I hope you will think so too.

Shalom,

Emily

Photo: Blanket flower next to our mailbox.