Love and Illness: Our First Trip

Made It To The Lookout!

To celebrate our halfiversary, Kiernan and I went away together for a weekend. We have been looking forward to this for a while now!

Wildflowers

We chose the small, quaint town of Wellsboro, PA most famously known for the Grand Canyon of PA.

View From Our Porch At The B and B

We chose Wellsboro because it is a short drive, a quiet town with good food, and because, most of all we wanted to be out in nature.

Bear Meadows Bed and Breakfast

We found a romantic B and B nestled in the hills just five minutes from town. 

Blue Door: Entrance to Our Room

Our room with the blue door is being guarded by the resident kitty.

Love The Personal Touches!

We arrived on Friday afternoon. A little glitch with our room (okay, a big one--the HEAT was on full blast and could not be turned off!) meant a room change, but this turned out to be our biggest obstacle of the trip.

At The Penn-Wells Hotel For Dinner

Please join me while I share our weekend away together with you and a little about what it felt like to allow Kiernan to be my caregiver.

I did as much of the planning for the trip as I could, knowing that when we got to Wellsboro, K would have to pull more of the weight than I could. 

I ended up sleeping in the car for the entire trip there, so K was on his own to navigate. He had printed the map and Mom loaned us her car so that I could be as comfortable as possible. 

We settled into the room, and I took my usual afternoon nap even though I had slept in the car.

That night we headed into town for dinner at the historic Penn-Wells Hotel, where we had a lovely meal. (We are all about the food! :))

Sunset View From Our Porch

We arrived back at the B and B in time to catch most of the beautiful sunset from our porch. 

Taking In The Sunset

We saw a family of groundhogs--eight babies (!!), deer, birds, and sunsets. The view and the quiet could not be beat.

K woke up early Saturday morning, headed into town to the diner for breakfast, took a walk around town and scouted out everything we needed to know. He even messaged the places we wanted to eat to find out 1. where the food truck we wanted to eat at was located, and 2. if the places we wanted to eat had gluten-free options. He tidied the room. He mapped things out. He loaded and unloaded the car in the ungodly heat. He put soap on the door hinges to the bathroom so I wouldn't be woken up in the mornings. He turned on my white noise machine. He snuggled with me while I napped. He did all of the driving (and he hates to drive!). He took the Rolls in and out of the car a zillion times. He walked slowly next to me into the restaurants. He adapted to my schedule.

These are things I have watched a mother do for me for my whole life, but not the things I have had to ask a partner to do for me. I don't often have to ask Kiernan what to do, and that is a blessing. He's learning fast and well what it is I need and how to care for me.

Puss and Boots 

While I slept in until my usual late hour, Kiernan spent several hours after his 6 AM wake up and trip into town, hanging out with Puss and Boots (his nickname for the cat), taking in the nature, and reading a book. Oh how he needed that down time with no to-do lists!

I enjoyed completely unplugging from email, FB, and texting. The only texting that occurred was to check in on the puppies and Mom!

Barbour Rock Trail

What we most wanted to do on Saturday after our amazing food truck lunch was to go to the Grand Canyon of PA. 

After some research, I had found a handicapped accessible trail, a .7 mile trip to an overlook called the Barbour Rock Trail.

Heading To The Overlook

It turns out this trail wasn't exactly handicapped accessible. 

And this is when it's hard to know I can't just walk side by side with K and hold his hands. I have to let him push me on this awful gravel trail that is giving him an insane workout because it is not at all 'accessible'. 

Even after all of these years of depending on my mom, I worry a LOT about her well-being and how my needs impact it. In a new relationship this is amplified. It's hard to totally relax and enjoy the ride when I'm worried about my partner and if he can even enjoy this walk because it's so physically demanding to push me.

I LOVE This Shot Of Us!

We ran into a photographer on the trail who asked if he could take our photo with his camera. "In all of my years hiking this trail," he said, "I have never seen anyone in a wheelchair on it.

Gee, I wonder why!?

At least we got a super cute picture of ourselves out of the deal.

Ferns. Everywhere Ferns.

The trail was incredibly gorgeous, and thankfully very shaded.

The ferns.

The glorious blooming mountain laurel.

The lush greens.

The feeling of being away from EVERYTHING.

That made it worth it.

Overlook At End of Barbour Rock Trail

The view from the Barbour Rock Trail overlook is unbeatable. Supposedly, it is one of the best overlooks of the canyon.

After visiting the Colton State Park side of the canyon, we decided to venture over to the Leonard Harrison Park side, which is a bit more commercialized, but also more accessible.

View On The Leonard Harrison Side

The view was still stunning, but could not come close the view we experienced earlier.

We discovered another food truck selling maple walnut ice cream (everything in Wellsboro is maple-flavored-something-or-other).

My Guy

I made my camera shy guy pose for a photo. :)

We took one last look at the canyon, and headed back to the B and B for my nap.

Puss and Boots was such a friendly guy (and I don't even like cats!)

Twilight View From Our Porch

After my nap, we headed out to a more casual restaurant for a quicker meal so that we could get back in time to watch the entire sunset.

Saturday Sunset

What a gift to see the sunset! Our neighborhood has become so built up that the sunsets of my childhood are distant memories.

Champagne!

K put on the romance by bringing a bottle of delicious champagne, that we sipped while watching the sunset.

Our room even included a heart shaped hot tub, which we turned the water temperature down on so that I could use it too!

On Sunday, we headed home. I turned into a blubbering crabby mess from the (baby) dose of prednisone I had taken for allergies and somehow Kiernan did not lose his mind dealing with me. I couldn't get out of my crabby pants mood, and I wasn't a great traveler on the way home. We had hoped to go to a winery on the way home, but missed the turn. Of course, in my prednisone state EVERYTHING was a CATASTROPHE! :P

A day later, everything is in perspective and I can say we had a beautiful weekend together and I think we traveled pretty darn well together!

Happy Halfiversary to US!

Learning how to be fully loved, be fully safe, be fully dependent are deep challenges for all of us. For me, the struggle to allow Kiernan to continue to care for me, sometimes at a cost to himself, is hard. Very hard. 

I want to cry when I arrive at a trail that is supposed to be handicapped accessible and it's not. I'm afraid I will ruin our vacation because of all of my demands and needs. I am afraid that it's unfair for K to have to adjust so much to my schedule or to be so limited in what activities we can do together. 

I am amazed that my body is in a place that I could even go on this vacation with my boyfriend. I am hopeful that my body will continue to improve. I love my new freedoms. I still get upset at the freedoms I do not have. 

It will always be a balancing act. Always.

Most of all, I am grateful for this weekend together. I am grateful to be with a man who believes, like I do, that what matters most is not what we are doing together, but that we are together and spending time together. 

I rejoice that we could make this trip together, that we could take the time away together, that we could enjoy so much good food and so much beautiful nature, that I could drink champagne and eat ice cream without getting sick, that I could get in a hot tub without getting sick, that I could fully enjoy our trip, and that I am with a partner who can 'make it work' with my illness.

Blessings,

Emily