Thoughts on Writing: In My Head

While I appreciate so much that others do not place increased external 'blog pressure' on me when I go missing in the blogging department, the real issue seems to be my internal 'blog pressure'.

When will I learn? When will I learn that no matter how hard it seems to get myself up to recline and write, I have to do it.

I haven't blogged in over a month. I didn't realize quite how long it had been since I'd taken time to write in a form other than email and Facebook.

I've been writing blogs in my head constantly for the past few weeks. I wish I had written them when they were fresh because they'll never be quite as good now as they would have been if I'd written them right away. And where to start? The topics are spinning around in my head. I'm not sleeping well, I'm lying awake writing blogs in my head. It's as if, even though I haven't touched a keyboard to blog, I'm actually blogging all of the time.

My reasons for not blogging lately are many. I've been herxing pretty badly. When I'm not herxing, I've managed to squeeze in a couple of fun things, which means days of paying a price for it. I thought the last place I wanted to be was inside on the computer when I could be sitting outside in my LaFuma enjoying some fresh air. I've been struggling a lot physically and emotionally, which also makes me pull away from blogging. And then, there is the problem of once I take a break, it's difficult to surmount what seems like a huge wall to get started writing again.

It's all a matter of balance. And I'm still trying to find my way.

Sometimes the hardest part for me is getting started on something. So, I've sat my little behind down this afternoon, turned my dad down for an afternoon visit, and am hoping that if I just make myself start I'll be back on track with blogging...and feeling better all around.

For me, blogging is my refuge. Why don't I remember this? I need to do it no matter how sick I feel. But, when I'm lying there feeling like the last thing I can do is try to put together a coherent sentence it's hard to force it.

The problem is that when I don't write, when I don't blog, my internal 'blog pressure' reaches a crisis point. I'm there right about now--ready to implode.

So, as we always do with our resolutions, we slip up, we re-commit over and over, we fall off the band wagon many times along the way, but we keep giving it a go.

Look out...your inboxes may be overwhelmed with Notes of Dancing Light! I hope you'll journey along with me as I find my way back to writing and work on decreasing my internal 'blog pressure'.

Now...which topics shall I tackle first? Hmmmmm....:)

Blessings,

Emily

Photo: Fresh-picked Zinnia's from Norm and Pam's garden.