Monday Dog Blog: Sleeping Arrangements

Gershwin Gets A Visit From Tovah Rose

Well, it's technically still Monday as I type this, but this post won't get out to subscribers until Tuesday morning. Oops.

All I can say about the photos of Tovah Rose and Gershwin sharing a crate is: we can't believe THIS HAPPENED! 

Sibling Love

Tovah doesn't like to share space with her little brother, but I caught her snuggled up in his crate next to him the other night. And my heart totally melted.

All My Babies Where They Belong

For these two, much of life is about where and when they will get to sleep.

Contented

Tovah's spot of choice is usually on my pillow above my head. 

Gershwin sleeps next to my pillow where I can rest my arm on him.

Sometimes Tovah Rose gets a little pissy at Gershwin if he gets too close to HER space on the bed. With a mean growl she lets him know he needs to MOVE!

One Pooped Puppy

Gershwin loves to snuggle up next to me on the bed.

This Beach Air Tires Me Out Mommy!

Tovah Rose doesn't seem to mind that half of the time she's squashed between my pillow and the decorative pillow on the bed...

And Messes Up My Hair!

or that her hair is kinda messed up!

I Love To Sleep Here!

I sure do love having these snuggle bugs to keep me company. 

Melting Mommy's Heart

But this week, the moment Tovah Rose snuggled up to her brother in his crate took the cake for best moment of the week between these two babies of mine.

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Emily

Here We Go A Visiting: Gary and Diane

Gary and Diane

On Tuesday, we traveled to Wilmington for a long afternoon to visit these two folks: Gary and Diane.

Pippie the Model

We also met Pippie the Min Pin...

Finally, Maisie Poops Out!

and Maisie the hound-retriever-Carolina dog-??? mix.

Gary Waves Goodbye!

After 22 years without seeing one another, we saw Gary and Diane for the first time last year while we were at the beach.

After our reunion, we promised we wouldn't let so many years pass again without seeing one another.

We held to that promise, and Mom and I headed up to Wilmington to Gary and Diane's to visit.

The Puppies are Pooped

Even the puppies came along for a visit! What a riot to have four dogs running around--some of them more interested in each other than others! After a while our guys pooped out. Maisie took until almost the end of the visit to konk out. ;)

As you can see, I became a fan of Maisie.

Enjoying Conversation with Dear Old Friends

And Gershwin napped with Mom. The conversation just wasn't that interesting to him.

Our Little Crew

What a worthwhile journey to visit these two people, who've been part of our lives for so many years.  I'm so grateful we've reconnected with them and we so enjoy talking 'shop' (Sociology) and about our lives. 

We were definitely pooped from the long day, but yet again...I DID IT! Bravo for that!

Gary, Diane and Maisie the Puppy

Thank you so much for having us for a visit, Gary and Diane. What a joy to see you all (Pippie and Maisie the Pest included. :)).

Blessings,

Emily

Mini-Reunion with a Davidson Friend!

Amanda and Me

The past week has been a busy one for us. After two trips to visit folks, we'll be staying put for the rest of our time down here.

Last weekend we traveled on Friday to visit one of my college friends, Amanda, who lives still lives in NC. We stayed overnight at her house and headed back to Sunset Beach on Saturday afternoon. It was a whirlwind and exhausting trip, but absolutely 100% worth it to see Amanda and meet her family.

Me, Bethany, Amanda and Samuel

I have known Amanda since Freshman year when we were in the same eating house. We lived on the same hall sophomore year. We haven't seen each other since graduation 17 years ago. We have kept in  touch through letters and phone calls, since Amanda is not on FB and does not email. 

We have always made sure to connect once a year on our birthdays, which fall just a day apart.

Yogurt Mustached Bethany

Amanda has been one of many Davidson folks who have shown me why Davidson is so special to me--the people I met there are loyal, loving, kind, generous and thoughtful. And smart. 

Sweet Samuel

Over the years, Amanda has served as a strong spiritual support for me--an open-minded, non-judgmental, willing to question woman. She earned both a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Counseling from Princeton, and she's been a wonderful spiritual guide to me, along with being a wonderful friend.

Samuel and J.D.

It was great to finally meet her husband, J.D.,  their children, Bethany and Samuel, and their dog, Nikki. And don't forget Boo Bear! 

Me, Bethany and Boo Bear!

It's hard to believe that we could make a three hour drive to visit someone, hang out in the afternoon, have me take a nap, get back up and have dinner, stay up talking with Amanda until after midnight, get up the next day and eat lunch with the family and hang out before we left around 2:30 for the three hour trip home.

We enjoyed just having a really low-key visit hanging out with Amanda and her family. On Friday, we got take-out from their favorite Thai restaurant so that Amanda would not have to be cooking with a new baby to take care of, had lots of chocolate for dessert, talked a lot. On Saturday, we had a lunch of Mom's baked oatmeal and Amanda's quiche. (Amanda--your quiche is perfection and we need the recipe! :))

J.D. and Samuel

When I was exhausted on Sunday, I had to remind myself that I still made it out of bed, ate lunch, got dressed, and spent the afternoon doing some hand-sewing. 

Their Sweet House

Other than taking medical trips and the couple of times Mom and I have traveled together, this was the first time we had stayed overnight at someone's home and I was able to manage it! 

Nikki

On Saturday, while I visited with Amanda and family, Mom went to see a former colleague of hers who now lives in NC. Athleen is 94 years old and still sharp as a tack!

I would have enjoyed seeing Athleen as well, but am so thankful Mom was able to make the trip to see her and have a meaningful visit with her. Athleen is a pioneer--a woman who got her Ph.D. when very few women were!

As you can see, it took a few tries to get a picture of me with Amanda and her kids! :) 

I am incredibly grateful to Amanda for welcoming us into her home. We picked up talking with one another as if we had not skipped a day in each other's lives. Being together in person with those we have only been able to keep in touch with is such a blessing--and such an affirmation of why we work so hard to maintain these long-distance relationships. I left Amanda's more affirmed in our relationship and more determined to maintain my friendship with such a joyful spirit.

Blessings,

Emily

Monday Dog Blog: Chill-axing

Tovah Rose and Gershwin here reporting from Sunset Beach, NC. 

We haven't had any beach outings this week--it's been pretty cold, dreary and rainy--so we've just enjoyed hanging out around the condo.

We melt Mommy's heart every time we 'hold paws' and she goes a little crazy with that camera of hers. But then again, when isn't she camera crazy?

One day, it rained all day. Mommy gave us each a beef pizzle for a treat. (Yeah, that's a nice way of saying bull penis.) 

We enjoyed our treats very much and it made the rainy day much less boring.

I (Gershwin) really like to keep Mommy company when she takes a bath.

Sometimes I think about jumping right in there!

I'm not sure how much Mommy would appreciate that, though. 

We did have a big milestone this week! Mommy and Mom went out of town for an overnight to visit some friends. We stayed at a kennel for two nights. This is the first time that we have ever been boarded like this.

Mommy was pretty nervous about leaving us, but we did GREAT! As long as we are together, we watch out for each other.

As you can see, we graduated Summa Cum Laude from the kennel.

We were very happy to be home on Sunday morning and spent the WHOLE day snuggling with Mommy and Mom. It was bliss for all of us.

Happy Monday!

Blessings,

Tovah Rose and Gershwin

Love Happened

Early Valentine's Day Date. Dinner Out!

The biggest reason that I haven't been blogging is, well, this guy in the photo above came into my life and stole my heart. 

For so many years, I blocked out the possibility of finding love. I closed my heart to it, believing that my illness made me 'unlovable'. Then, as I began to share my fears with friends, family, my counselor and even my doctors, I heard their voices telling me how worthy I was of love. I also know I have a lot of love to give.

One of my doctors said to me: "You are not sick. Maybe your body has an illness, but you have everything to offer a partner. Why are you punishing yourself by not trying to date and find love?" That comment stuck with me. Recently, when I told my PCP I was dating a wonderful man he said he wished he had told me what the other doctor had said--that I deserved love and that I deserved only the best.

After our trip to the beach last year, I signed myself up for eHarmony in an effort to 'get my toes wet' when it came to dating. I was TERRIFIED of dating after so long away from it. Plus, before I got sick, I had spent my college years in a long term relationship, so I had never really 'dated' much. A first date? What's that?!

Almost daily, I wore a pair of earrings that I called my "Open Heart Earrings" that I had purchased at the beach and reminded me to keep my heart open to the possibility of love. I posted on Facebook that I wanted to find love. I eventually posted the same words on my blog in May of 2014. 

As my health improved, I filled my LIFE to the brim with what fulfilled me. I finally felt at peace in so many ways with ME, with my puppies, my parents, my remarkable friends and family, my many interests and hobbies. I felt whole. I felt that I would be okay if I didn't find someone to love. 

And that's when "It" happened. 

I met a wonderful man. And I fell in love with him. His name is Kiernan.

We are beautifully pathetically smitten with one another.

Here is our story.

My Valentine's Gift from K. A Collage of Where we Met and Our First Dates.

How We Met

We met on November 30th at a mutual friend's surprise 30th birthday party. That mutual friend is Marjie.

Both of us were a little unsure about attending the party--K didn't really know any of the folks going and I was unsure about making small talk with a bunch of folks I didn't know. 

Since I've known Marjie, she's been encouraging me to date (even being the person to edit my eHarmony profile), and had mentioned another man that she thought I would be a good match with. This man was supposed to attend the party so I got all gussied up, worked up my nerve that I would introduce myself to him, ask him if the seat next to him was available, and otherwise not 'play it safe' by sitting with the women I knew at the party. 

Aforementioned 'other guy' did not show up to the party. And I totally relaxed. I was authentically myself and even talked openly about my illness at the table.

Kiernan sat mostly quiet surrounded by a zillion women at the table. What a trooper!

We posed for pictures and he stood either behind me or next to me in them. He says he remembers the moment I put my arm around him.

I'm convinced that the universe brought us together on this day, that I was meant to go to the party 'looking for someone else', that he would not be there, that I would fully relax and that Kiernan would be attracted to my authentic self. 

Our relationship has unfolded so organically and easily. 

Our First Selfie. Photobomb by Tovah Rose.

How we Started Dating

After the party, Kiernan asked Marjie if I was single and if I dated. Of course she said: YES! YES! YES! Ha! :)

We were all posting party pics and tagging each other on FB, so K found me via FB and messaged me: 

"Would you like to swap phone numbers, maybe get together some time?"

And so it began.

Honestly, I was blown away over 'being noticed' by a man.

K's First Visit to Our House. Look Who Approved!

Our first date

K won me over pretty quickly with his thoughtfulness and caring. He really thought through our first date. We went to a cozy local bar with a real fireplace where we talked easily for 2 1/2 hours! He was there before I arrived, he ordered my drink for me, he paid, he was a perfect gentleman. 

Yup. These Guys LOVE Him.

Our Second Date

For our second date, we went out to lunch at our very favorite Thai and Sushi restaurant. We shared dishes and realized how many common core values and interests we shared.

After our second date, I was fairly quickly falling for K.

I tease him a lot about falling for a bearded man with tattoos! He's so unexpected in terms of my usual draw towards the preppy clean-shaven type, yet he's everything I want in a person's SOUL. 

Keeping my heart open to unexpected and different possibilities led me to him.

Tovah Rose is SACKED Out.

On his first visit to my house, the puppies immediately sat on either side of him. K said: "Well, they do this for everyone don't they?"

Nope.

Honestly, when I saw how much the puppies loved him from the get go, I should have known I would fall in love with this man. But, they 'knew' before I did that this man would fill our lives with so much love.

Kiernan lost his beloved dog, Nestle, just a month after our first date. I only met her once, which breaks my heart. Did Nestle know I would take care of Kiernan when she left this world? Did she know Kiernan would be okay? For some people, this might be a bit much--but I do believe our animals know us and are so very wise about what we need. Asher left this world just as I began to get my wings to fly again, after he had spent years taking care of me. He was ready to go and he prepared me for my new life. I hope Nestle and Asher are watching over us, knowing that Kiernan and I are taking care of each other.

Bromance: K and Gershy

K and I share many common interests--the top two being DOGS and FOOD. He loves to cook! We are both townies, we love this town, we love farmers markets, we love movies, we love soup, we love word finds, we love flannel pajamas, we love snuggling, we love sharing meals together, we love good conversation, we love writing, we love nature, we love learning, we love children, we love to laugh, we love SmartWool socks, we love so many things that bind us. 

At the same time, we have enough different interests to keep things interesting.

We also share the same core values about relationships and life.

Visiting Marjie and Adele

I asked G-d to bring me a gentle and kind soul and that is who He brought me in Kiernan.

This man is incredibly kind, gentle, loving, compassionate, loyal, faithful, generous, empathetic, and patient. 

He is also smart and funny, creative and artistic.

He's a beautiful human being.

Being Goofy for Jeannine
(Jeannine was at home spending the day trimming her mom's toenails, helping her bathe and changing her sheets. K and I wanted to cheer her up so we did a selfie of us 'trimming' Tovah's toenails to tease her that it wasn't all romance all the time   in our world either. Haha! :))

I have spent so many years trying to cope with the trauma of a sexual assault as a teenager and the trauma that illness has had on my sexuality and sense of beauty.

I have literally spent much of my life being AFRAID of men.

Dating, being intimate with a man physically or emotionally, and letting a man into my life seemed like the scariest thing EVER. Yet, I knew I wanted to date and find love very much.

With My Favorite Chef

I had no idea that I could find someone who would make me feel so safe, so comfortable and so loved so quickly that he would crack my heart wide open and allow it to love again. 

Yes, we've fallen in love quickly. But we are also 39 and 36 and we are very ready to love. Do I hope Kiernan is 'the one'? Absolutely. Would I be happy to never go on a first date again? Absolutely. Does this excite me and terrify me all at once? Absolutely.

All we can know right now is that we are the right person for each other right now in this moment. We know that we love each other and that the future will unfold as it is meant to.

Smooch! I Made Him Blush! :)

I know now that the right person can open my heart wide. I know that he can make me feel safe. I know that he will be patient with my fears about illness or sexual trauma. I know that he will love me for all that I have to offer and not for what I do not. I know that he will push me in the wheelchair without a second thought. I know that he will never act 'put out' because he has to do the set-up and clean-up for dinner, because he has to always drive me, because he has to accommodate to my schedule. I know that he will do these things with grace, love and compassion. I know that in my own way I can be an equal partner in the relationship. I know that I have as much to give to him as he does to me. I know that we will show each other love, appreciation, respect, loyalty and patience. I know that he will take my fears and my tears and hold them in the palm of his hand. 

Yes, this man has opened my heart and I have fallen in love with him.

This is why I've been so quiet on my blog lately. I've been busy falling in love. Living the life I've been waiting so long for. Falling in love is a 'crazy joyful miracle', as my friend Jamie texted me. It's full of endorphins and butterflies and requires lots of energy! :) 

I'm sorry I've been so out of touch with so many people. Yet,  I am not sorry for reveling in every moment of this new life. I have waited and watched on the sidelines for so many years as my friends and family have lived their lives the way I dreamed I would live mine, and as they fell in love and had children. I've transitioned with them through these major life changes. I rest in knowing that my relationships are strong and secure and will adjust to this new transition in my life.

Thank you to everyone for sharing in our joy.

Blessings,

Emily