Thanksgiving Visitors

Sean reading one of my childhood books to Miles and Piper.

The holidays always mean that lots of people have time for visits--either because they have a little time off from work or because they are home visiting family in town here. I've basically been using all of my energy for visits, and the inevitable crash plus recovery that comes with the territory.  I will be resting up now for the next round of visitors over the Christmas and New Year's holiday!


My first visitors were a Sean and his cutie-patooties, Miles and Piper. Even though I haven't seen Sean and the kids for over a year, the kids warmed right up to me, which totally lifted my spirits. Piper sold some local foods to benefit her school, so she came to deliver my order. :) 

Me and Neeraj

One of the most formative experiences of my life was the time I spent at our local Friends School. I even wrote one of my college essays for Davidson on this wonderful school. Since I attended Friends School for 2nd and 3rd grade only, I don't know where most of my classmates are, and many of us went our separate ways once we got to the larger public schools. Neeraj and I found each other on Facebook (of course) and he persisted in working out a time to get together. I am so glad he did because it was amazing to see each other! All of these years later, we feel so grateful for our time at Friends School and so bonded by the unique experience we had there. It was fun to meet each other as 'grown ups'. :)

Me and Kristina

My next visitor, Kristina, is also someone I reconnected with through Facebook 17 years after our last time seeing each other. During our high school marching band days, Kristina was in my rank. Go alto saxophones! :) We've been able to get together three times this year--once for our first meeting, once on an outing with her son to see Winnie-the-Pooh, and this last time to knit (her) and sew (me) together. She's incredibly accommodating to my schedule and needs, and unphased by my need to take a reclining chair to the movies.


Most of my close friends who know about my illness live far away--some I've never met because we are chronically ill and met online while others have known me throughout high school or college and have known about my illness for the last 13 years. It's always a little difficult to take the chance on getting together with people who haven't seen me for so many years. I wonder how they will react to my illness or how it makes them feel. I feel that I am gradually starting to allow local people into my new life.


Blessings,


Emily

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mom and Asher at the Playground.

Mom and I had a very quiet, restful and relaxing Thanksgiving Day. What a change from how things were a year ago! Mom is so enjoying being able to go for walks and be outside again. On Thanksgiving Day, I felt the best I have felt in a long time. It is always tough to decide how to spend the holiday--with Dad and Abbie or with Mom. I will be headed to Dad and Abbie's for the Christmas holiday.

Thanksgiving Day StRoll in the Park.

We've had gorgeous, unseasonably warm weather, so we we took the opportunity to head to one of the parks for a Thanksgiving Day StRoll.

What a view!

I love picnic tables!

Asher thinks that picnic tables and benches are there just for him. Since no one was actually picnicking at the park, he got to hang out on the table and take a little rest.

 

Um, I'm ready?! What's the hold up?!

We purposely picked a park that Asher could also go to. This dog is all about coming and going. Here he is in the car waiting for us to finish getting ready so we can GO already!

Dinner.

After my nap, we had a lovely dinner of local cornish hens, roasted veggies (celeriac, sweet potato, carrots and brussels sprouts), cranberry relish, salad and gluten-free, dairy-free pumpkin pie for dessert!! I was so excited about the pie I forgot to take a photo before Mom cut it. :)

I still felt well enough after dinner for us to watch an episode of The Good Wife together.

It was a GOOD day. 

We hope you, too, had a blessed Thanksgiving with good food and those you love.

Blessings,

Emily

Mom: Beach Bum

One year ago today Mom woke up with indigestion, nausea and a band of tightness around her chest. After waiting it out for a while, she called 911 at 4 AM. I woke up to hear her come in my room to turn on my white noise machine and shut my door. She said: "I'm going to the hospital. The ambulance is on the way." And she wasn't going to wake me up?!

She had a heart attack in the ambulance.

I called Jeannine who rushed to the hospital to be with Mom. While Jeannine kept me in the loop and stayed with my mom, my friend K spent the next few hours with me on Gchat, praying with me, listening, and just being there. I will never forget how those two friends got me through that night.

So began a very long year of medical challenges and surgeries for mom. To celebrate surviving so much and feeling much better, we went on our vacation (which I still need to blog about). Here is Mom at the beach one year later--stented, fused and decompressed--finally starting to feel like a human being again. 

In Elizabeth Berg's Open House, she writes: "You know before you know." For a few months before her heart attack, Mom had been having some episodes when she came home from her work at the library. She would be very pale, nauseated (to the point of hanging her head over the toilet), feel tightness in her chest, and need to sit and rest before she could prepare dinner. 

Even before these episodes began, I had been pushing Mom to go to a cardiologist. She was scheduled to see her PCP the day AFTER the heart attack happened to ask him about running some cardiac tests as she, too, had become concerned about her symptoms. Obviously, she never made it to that appointment.

The night before Mom's heart attack I couldn't sleep because she was again having a pretty extreme episode. I was terrified, but Mom wouldn't go to the ER. I think I already knew then that she was going to have a heart attack.

Looking back, we see that Mom had a perfect storm of events that set her up for a heart attack, including good old genetics. There is always the immense stress that comes with being a caregiver. But also to deal with years of pain she had been prescribed NSAIDs, which in turn gave her an ulcer, which in turn caused anemia, which very well may have been the cause of her heart attack.

Looking back at her blood work, we see the anemia had been present for years, but hadn't been addressed. Her cholesterol and BP had also not been properly addressed. No one said: If you are going to take an NSAID long-term, you MUST take a proton pump inhibitor at the same time.  I'm oversimplifying here, but despite us trying to be good advocates for our health, we still missed important keys. And we feel very let down by the quality of primary care she received. Had her PCP been more attentive, I truly believe she would not have had a heart attack at 65.

Why am I writing all of this? Because Mom fit the classic profile of a woman about to have a heart attack. She had all of the symptoms that women have: indigestion, nausea, chest tightness. 

I knew before I knew. And by then, it was too late. 

Today, I'm grateful that mom is here with me every day because she is the person I cherish and love more than anyone in the world. If you, or someone you love, is having these symptoms or history, please trust your gut, take it seriously, and fire your PCP if they are as negligent as Mom's was. 

We are so fortunate for the way the events did play out. Mom called the ambulance in the nick of time. We had a cath lab at the our hospital. Her surgery was delayed instead of her probably having a heart attack on the table. We discovered and treated her ulcer. And she can now aggressively treat her cholesterol and BP. She was able to have successful surgeries on her neck and back.

I still have nightmares about something happening to Mom. It is hard to explain how that day one year ago changed my world. 

I love you Mom!

Blessings,

Emily

Visit: Margaret, Kurt and The Lentil

Kurt, Margaret and the Lentil.

Fellow Davidsonian Margaret, her husband Kurt, and their little Lentil visited me last week as they made their way to their new home across the country. Despite having lived on the same freshman and sophomore halls at Davidson, Mags and I had lost touch until we found each other on Facebook. She started reading my blog, we started reconnecting, and we got to 'meet again' last week as adults. And I got to meet her wonderful husband, Kurt, whom I had heard so much about. It was AMAZING! 

Margaret and Kurt made such a huge effort to time their visit during my 'awake hours' of the day and accommodate to my needs. My body really rallied for the visit and I felt emotionally uplifted from the time we spent together.  

Great candid shot by Mom.

None of us wanted the afternoon to end, but I needed a rest and Margaret and Kurt needed to hit the road. Margaret promised me that "this is just the beginning" and we will see each other again--maybe even as soon as the holidays (before the Lentil arrives)!!


Margaret and Kurt: Thank you so much for the delightful visit! Y'all come back now, you hear?


Blessings,


Emily