Monday, April 20, 2015

This New Life

Feeling JOY

This New Life.

The Vastness of the Ocean Reminds Me of the FREEDOM I Feel

It's SO Big. BIG. 

Like the keychain Jeannine made me during my days of being very sick that reminded me to Think Big.

She says I've always been someone who Thinks Big. 

Nature Makes Perfect Art

I overthink big time too, but that's a whole different post. Or posts. Or a zillion posts.

But this NEW LIFE of mine.

I Was SO Happy To Be Able to Stand UP and Do This!

It's so full. 

It's just SO BIG. 

I can't believe it's MY life. My Very Own Life.

A Path Appears

It's changing so fast I almost feel like I can't quite keep up. I feel like I'm not sure where I'm going or how I got here. Except that I look back and think about how I've persevered and how resilient I've been.

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Sunlit Path

Well, mostly, I've been doing what most people do every day: Enjoying the little things and the big things. Spending time with people I love. Spending it in new ways.

My Journey

Like going on a double date out at a fancy restaurant with Kiernan and Sarah and Bob.

Like having lunches out with friends who've been visiting me in my recliner year after year. 

Like going to lots of PT, massages, counseling and acupuncture. HEALING is still my full-time job.

Like going to the Mom Prom and dancing to three songs. 

Like having a three hour Passover dinner. 


Like buying a hair drying with a diffuser and blowing my hair dry for the first time in 17 years. 

Like going downtown to a cute store and buying a couple of short dresses. 
Oh, how I've wanted to wear short dresses for so many years but couldn't because I had to have my legs up all of the time. 

Like thinking about what I want to do for my 40th birthday to celebrate life (any ideas welcome!). 

Like how to fundraise for Dr. ANS. 

Like working in the garden side by side with my boyfriend. 

Like sitting upright for several hours a day.

Like drinking a glass of wine or a martini for dinner.

Like being able to go to out to lunch AND to an appointment all in the same day.

Like planning to go see Garth Brooks in concert on Saturday.

Like having a Shabbat dinner at our house on Friday.

Like taking a bath in the middle of the afternoon because I CAN. Because I can take my hose off, put them back on, get dressed, take a nap and go out that evening.

The FREEDOM. Oh, the FREEDOM. It's a remarkable feeling.

It's weird to have being 'too busy' be my new problem. I need to find a way to stop being too greedy with my new freedom, as Dr. ANS has warned me about. But I admit, I AM greedy for this freedom. I've been waiting so long for it. 

Our Warmest Beach Day!

Going from illness to wellness is a process. It's a whole new world. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm loving life.

And, I'm trying to remember to BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT so I don't forget to Take. It. ALL. In.




Susannah said...

Yay!!!!!!!! So so so happy to read this post!!!

Love you,

Shawn and Janie Farrens said...

That is just SO awesome! I love it. Regardless of what the future brings, your thankful heart will always be a source of joy to you.