"His presence on stage, on camera, and in personal appearances of all kinds speaks eloquently on behalf of the physically challenged, and his devotion to their cause is an integral part of his life."
--From the biographical information on Itzhak Perlman in the concert program--
Triumphant. I cannot think of any other word to describe how I feel about having made an outing to see violinist Itzhak Perlman and pianist Rohan De Silva in concert April 1st.
I wish I had been given the energy to write this blog sooner--when the triumph felt fresher. Oh how quickly the triumph seems to fade when I become absorbed again in the daily medical grind. Perhaps just writing about it now will summon up the feelings again. For those two hours, even though I didn't feel 'well', I felt that I had taken just a little time out from being sick. I tried to let myself be transported out of my world and into the world of Perlman's musicianship.
Amazing, amazing, amazing is all I can keep saying about Perlman. I felt honored to be in the presence of such a master of the violin and musical genius. I felt honored to be in the presence of a person with a disability who does not hide behind it. I felt triumphant that I went to the concert. I felt in awe of hearing music performed live again. I forgot how different it sounds when not played through stereo speakers! I felt proud of myself for asking for the accommodations needed to go to the concert. I felt overwhelmed that my body cooperated just long enough for me to go to the concert. I felt humbled by the efforts of the staff to make this concert accessible for me.
With much encouragement from friends, I called the accessibility manager and worked out all of my needs in advance. After 10 years of being sick I finally asked my doctor for a handicapped parking placard. After all of these years shouldn't I be used to 'being sick' or 'being a person with a disability'? Yes, maybe. But I'm not. And asking for what I need and accepting the truth is still difficult. I'm trying to view the parking pass in a new light--The Golden Parking Pass--as Jeannine calls it.
The accessibility manager was incredible. Lisa offered to do anything, and I mean just about anything, to make it possible for me to attend this concert. Mom took my fold up reclining chair to the theatre ahead of time, and when I arrived at the concert--there it was all set up for me! I even had my own 'private potty' in the tech room that I'm not supposed to tell anyone about! :) (So I didn't tell you!). After the concert Mom made a quick run to the car, while the staff waited for her phone call that she was parked out front. They carried my chair and all of my pillows out the car for me! I was able to do the short walk in and out of the theatre which was really exciting. The next day after the concert, Lisa called to see how I was feeling and to tell me to keep in touch so that I could come to future performances.
The biggest bummer was that I couldn't see a whole heck of a lot from the reclining position. But, I could listen. And that was amazing enough for me. I could see a lot of the head of the person in front of me and as much of the ceiling as I wanted to, but not too much of Itzhak. (I'm used to staring at the ceiling anyways!). We did bring our opera glasses, so I sat up a couple of times so that I could see Perlman and his joyful way of performing music. All of the handicapped seating is in the very back of the theatre so it's a LONG way to the stage! I felt bad for Mom having to sit so far back because of me, but she didn't mind. Plus, the handicapped seats are half-price! :) As always, Mom goes above and beyond to make these things possible for me.
Sometimes, after years of asking for what I need and the sting of being treated unkindly so many times, it's difficult for me to ask for what I need. And it's still difficult for me to feel or look 'different'. Somehow, this night I did not care. Seeing Perlman in concert beat worrying about any of those things. The whole time I was at the concert I just kept thinking, "Am I really here? Have I really just done this?"
Even though I had hoped my new Lyme treatment would have started sooner, I feel that perhaps I was given the gifts of this concert, being able to watch the Davidson basketball games, and staying over at Dad and Abbie's house for a week in preparation for this next step. I'll have these 'good things' to hold on to when I'm herxing again.
I hope last week's experience will give me the courage to try again to attend another performance. At intermission, when I told Lisa I couldn't see the stage, she said, "Well, just give us the dimensions of your chair and we'll build you a little platform to put it on. Then you'll be able to see." If that's not above and beyond the call of duty, I don't know what is!
Yesterday, our neighbor, Scott, (Miss Alexandra's dad!) stopped over to say "Happy half-birthday!" I said, "It's my half birthday? Do we celebrate those?" I knew he must have something up his sleeve! He said had been listening to NPR and he had just happened to stop over at the office and pick something up for me. It was a CD of Itzhak Perlman and Oscar Peterson called Side by Side with...drum roll please...Itzhak Perlman's autograph! (This was one of the gifts out local station was giving out as part of the spring fundraising drive.) I'm still completely overwhelmed by this gesture and the thoughtfulness this family continues to give me. Last night I played the CD through more than two times. The 'lift' couldn't have come on a better day--and listening to the CD was a way to remember that people are 'in my court' AND that I saw this performer in concert.
Now, I will always have this 'little something' to remind me of this amazing artist and of what became to me, a triumph on so many levels.
I only told a couple of people ahead of time that I had bought tickets for the concert because I couldn't face not only how I would feel if I had been to sick to go to the concert, but then telling folks it hadn't worked out. So, I'm very excited to tell you all now that I did it!!!!
Time to listen to my new CD again. And program my alarm to wake up to one of the tracks on it!
Blessings,
Emily
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