Look We're Color-Coordinated! October 27, 2013 |
Getting to see Lana is one of my very favorite things--and I got to see her two weekends ago when Sarah generously came home for my birthday/celebration of life/girls afternoon party.
Little Acrobat July 6, 2013 |
At 3 1/2 Lana is full of joy, smiles, hugs, kisses, 'cheese' for the camera, songs, dances and imagination. We have three Tupperware's filled with my old dolls, books, coloring books, crayons, etc. and Lana knows exactly where to go when she arrives.
Dancing Star July 6, 2013 |
When Lana was here two weeks ago, we played imagination games with her Dora dolls, played with the doll I grew up with--changing her clothes, diapering, feeding her, etc., and even did a round of Ring Around the Rosie.
Here's How You Do It, Auntie Em! July 6, 2013 |
Being able to engage actively in play with Lana is something I cherish so deeply, because much of the time she has been in my life, I have been too sick to play with her much--often lying on the sofa or in my recliner just watching her.
She LOVES to "Say Cheese" for the Camera! July 6, 2013 |
Sarah and Bob have worked so hard to make Lana a part of my life--sending me cards signed by Lana, sending me drawings by her, praying for me at night with her, texting me photos and videos (just got a video of Lana singing and dancing today!) and teaching her who Auntie Em is.
This means that when Lana arrives for a visit she is eager to see Auntie Em and gives hugs and kisses freely. She's no longer shy at all around me! She asks for her special cup with water in it and asks to go play with her special toys. :)
Recognize the Cabbage Patch Doll Next to Us? Yup, That's Mine from the ''80's July 6, 2013 |
When Sarah first became pregnant with Lana, she called me to tell me the news, worried that it would upset me because she knew how much I wanted to be a mom. But Sarah waited a long time herself to have her little girl.
Meeting Lana November 26, 2010 |
Lana was born during the Year of the Pajama. And I admit, with deep regret and sadness, that my own grief over not being a mom and my feeling so awful made me a not-so-great or supportive aunt. It was physically painful to know friends were having babies. It was physically painful for me to try to even be a part of Lana's life. She didn't get a true baby gift until she turned two.
The Chair Tasted Good! November 26, 2010 |
It's difficult to even look back at these photos Sarah took of my first meeting with Lana. I remember how I was dressed in my PJ's and how hard it was for me to hold Lana for long. I couldn't comfort her when she cried. I couldn't engage with her in the ways I longed to.
Lana Does Not Care That I am in My PJs on this Day! May 26, 2013 |
Sarah is a woman of deep faith, grace, and patience. Although mostly unspoken, she knew I was in pain. She waited. She kept sending me cards from Lana. She kept making sure Lana knew who Auntie Em was.
Always Ready for the Camera! May 26, 2013 |
I'm so grateful she waited for me to come around. I'm grateful Lana didn't really know who I was yet during my selfish period, and that she can see the Auntie Em who loves her to the moon and back.
Beautiful Family |
Thank you, Sarah and Bob, for the blessing of your grace, patience, understanding and visits and for your faith in me to be an aunt to your precious daughter. Thank you, Lana, for lighting up my world with your hugs, smiles, drawings, singing, dancing and joy for life.
Love you to the moon and back,
Auntie Em
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