That's HALF of a YEAR!
182 days; 26 weeks; 2 quarters; 6 months; 1/2 a year
(thanks to Rebekah for just putting it in all of these different ways! :))
I honestly don't even know what to think. Has it gone by quickly or slowly? All I know is I DID IT! I actually feel like it's gone by pretty quickly and a part of me feels like I 'should' be farther along in the treatment. And I'm certainly tired of the treatment and its miserable side effects, but it is what it is.
I celebrated today by buying a new pair of cute PJs. And eating a chocolate truffle that Mom brought home fresh from the Farmer's market today. Yum!
Right after I wrote my last post about grief over lost time and years and dreams, I crashed really hard and have been unable to respond to you all. I want to take a moment to say that the response to that post was overwhelming and I was moved beyond words. I thank you for reading those tough posts, for your compassion, for your empathy, for your kindness.
The higher dose of Rocephin, which I started on Thursday of last week, is definitely kicking my butt (and hopefully killing off some serious Lyme spriochetes!). It makes me very exhausted and weak. It also seems to go right to my ANS and has been causing me to have very low blood pressure.
On the Martha Stewart Show I have learned lots of useful information (how to paint, how to cook shrimp, how to make tofu, how to plant an herb garden) and fun but not-so-useful information (how to make stained glass cookies, how to make a necklace out of a t-shirt). Hopefully some day this wealth of knowledge will come in handy!
And I have spent my share of time konked out on the sofa in the sunroom. Thankfully, the afternoon sun is lovely and at least I am, for the most part, able to rest.
On Monday my new home care nurse, Jess, said to me:
"You need to rest! And don't you feel guilty about it. Your body needs to rest. It needs the energy to rejuvenate."
I definitely got a laugh out of this because over the weekend I had been unable to sleep one night. My mind ended up racing. I felt overwhelmed. And lots of guilt. I finally turned the light on and tried to tackle the pile beside my bed. I found an email from Mommy Bev commending me for 'letting go of my guilt' in a recent blog. She gently reminded me that it is difficult to change our ways and not to be surprised if I had a backslide.
I thought: When did I write that post? And who took over my body when I said I was going to 'let go of guilt' and accept that I would be out of touch with folks, etc.?
I guess I needed a little (okay, big reminder) that night and the following day of what my job is: Resting and healing. It's just that I don't like my job very much and I'm not very good at it! :P My body has spoken loud and clear since increasing the dose of Rocephing and given me very little choice in the matter! I seem to have a very slow learning curve!
Speaking of resting, it's time for me to get to watching the results show of Dancing With The Stars. :)
Photos: Spring is here and it is time for the outside water bowl! Asher just can't wait for the water to get to the bowl itself, so he drinks it as it is going into the bowl.