Six Weeks at the Beach!

New Weeping Cherry Tree

We got some extra good news about a week ago. In emailing back and forth with the owner of the house we will be renting at the beach, we found out that the house unexpectedly became available for the month of February and that we could come earlier if we wanted to instead of waiting until March 1st. 

Spring 2013

Mom and I decided that we could be ready by Valentine's Day weekend to head to the sunny skies of North Carolina, and we are so excited.

Planted to Replace Our 38 Year Old Weeping Cherry

Once we decided to leave earlier, I said to Mom: "I just can't wait to go to the beach. I'm just so ready for a break."

Mom said empathetically: "You're ready for some leisure time?"

I said: "Yes."

And I started crying. 

I didn't realize how much we needed to do something like this.

Going on this trip, taking six weeks for US feels like the very best thing we have done for ourselves in 15 years. It is also something we never could have imagined being able to do.

What makes me so overwhelmingly excited is that my health is stable enough for us to even think about making this trip. It feels so important to the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of both of us to take this trip. I'm really looking forward to having 'space'--space to go for StRolls, spend more time with the puppies, blog, watch movies and TV with Mom, eat yummy food, go out for coffee, and just BE.

As many of you know, our trip to Chincoteague didn't go very well. I pushed too hard. I had expectations that I would miraculously feel better as soon as I was away from the stress of home and medical appointments. I just ended up sad, miserable and disappointed for most of the trip, and I never had to courage to blog about what happened emotionally.

This trip, I am working very hard not to plan too much, not schedule anything but massages once a week, not take lots of activities to do, not set a bunch of expectations, and be open to what the experience has to offer.

 I want to be mindful of my mind, body and spirit--letting them guide me in the choices I make in how to spend my time at the beach.

Other than having my college roomie (and possibly her family) visit while we are there, we plan to basically hibernate. :) 

Asher is also doing very well and is stable, so we are hopeful that he will have an uneventful six weeks of R and R at Dad and Abbie's. 

My biggest hope for the trip is that my health stability holds. The way I am feeling now, I can often enjoy a nice outing or activity in the afternoons, especially if there are good rest times in between, which there should be plenty of at the beach.

We've started packing and will be leaving two weeks from today! I admit that the packing and planning part of things is not my favorite, and is what causes me the most anxiety. Otherwise, I just feel EXCITEMENT!

In honor of going to the beach, Ellen visited yesterday and I painted my toenails for the first time in over a decade (since I started wearing compression hose that cover my toes!). I'm ready!

This year has been, and continues to be, full of what feels like positive change and growth after 15 years of illness. I feel like we're finding new ways to navigate this path and possibly better preserve ourselves as we run this marathon that is chronic illness and caregiving. I have found all of this growth and change to be positive, but also very hard work! 

I can't wait to arrive in the state in which I was conceived, the state in which we went to the beach every year of my growing up and the state in which I went to college. It feels a bit like coming home.

Blessings,

Emily